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12 year old dawdles with everything
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AlwaysGrateful




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2023, 8:26 am
Can I guess that he's your oldest?

Sounds like he's turning into a teenager.

Imagine that your husband was having a hard time getting to bed on time and it was affecting YOUR day. What would you do? You wouldn't micromanage him. You would discuss it with him and try to figure out what's making it hard for him. You would work with him to find a way that both of your concerns get addressed.

And no, he's not an adult. But he's not a little kid either. And he feels like an adult, but like you're treating him like a little kid. Your goal is to make him feel like you're treating him like an adult, at least to some degree.

Lives in the balance might be a good place to start.
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Raindance




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2023, 10:53 am


Look at this picture and decide what is hard for him. To me it seems like you are describing task initiation struggles, possibly also self monitoring

I had this growing up (still do), and it's horrible. time is lucid and things seem giant, and I'm on my way, on my way, on my way, and I just got distracted, and I just don't want to do it, and it's boring and AGAIN, STOP NAGGING ME, I'm on my way!!

Believe me that it does not come from a wish to be nagged and hated, it comes from a perception of any beginning seeming like a mountain, not your normal alps, but a real mt Everest!

Help him get context of time by getting one of these Link to visual timer watch
, for instance.
And set the timer to how long you want tasks to take.

Maybe an OT could help him see things as small anthills versus the giant mountain?

He might need to be included in tasks, help him get started. 'I'll sit down with you while you do the first math assignment, bring me you paper, pen, etc.' and if this is the issue (task initiation), then every math assignment is a new beginning and must be treated as such. He will have to call you over when he finishes one, and you help him get started on the next one.

You can pm me for more personal insight.
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