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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Support Group for Mothers of Teens having mid-terms
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 21 2023, 7:48 pm
We finished Thursday. There's light at the end of the tunnel lol

The worst was my 9 yo son who thought he needed to stay up late and study for his regular tests and he was not going to bed at 10 PM so he could continue reviewing science (this is not a very studious kid. More like he wants to be big.)
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amother
DarkGreen


 

Post Sat, Jan 21 2023, 8:38 pm
professor wrote:
Also a support group for the teachers having only a few days of "midwinter vacation" to grade all of them AND finish report cards


Aren't the teachers off most days of midterms?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 9:57 am
Reactivating this support group for Finals. If you are already going nuts, here's the place to vent and get support.

If you feel you are driving all over the place, dealing with stressed teens, and being pushed for unlimited iced coffees, sushi, and french fries as the ultimate cure-all, just spill on this thread. We are all in this together.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 10:00 am
Omg! Yes! I'm going nuts again!!!
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 10:00 am
My daughter is having a blast! Lots of eating out, partying, sleepovers, all in the name of “studying”. Mine can’t be the only one!
She doesn’t seem stressed (doesn’t get top marks and doesn’t care). I honestly think midterms and finals are her favorite parts of the years.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 10:15 am
So wondering what is the approach to the wanting fries iced coffees etc. do you just let every day to get stuff?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 10:17 am
amother Cyan wrote:
So wondering what is the approach to the wanting fries iced coffees etc. do you just let every day to get stuff?


I treat her here and there, and other times, she can use babysitting $$$. I'm definitely on a budget.
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amother
Bluebell


 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 10:53 am
My issue isn’t the driving to friends or spending.
I’m happy she has friends to study with.
I gave her $10 in the beginning of the week and she hasn’t even used it.
My issue is the incredible amount of work and pressure.
Maybe some schools have less pressure.
Maybe some girls are very academic and don’t mind the work.
Honestly if I would have had to take my daughters historia final this week, I would have failed.
The amount of dates and names she had to memorize- were insane.
This is a form of child abuse.
I WISH my daughter would be partying and drinking iced coffee!
Instead she wakes up early to take 2 finals, goes to a friends house to study. Comes home and eats something and then spends the rest of the night studying.
Repeat for the next day.
And the next week.
The intensity is creating a tremendous amount of pressure and tension in my house.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 11:14 am
Bluebell, that might have something to do with your daughter's personality.
A relative of mine has two DD's in high school.....one sounds like yours. Her life is currently revolving around an insane amount of studying, she's stressed to the hilt. The other is totally chilled, partying and supposedly "studying" but not really.....and she realizes it's about their personalities and attitudes more than anything else. I asked my relative how she's doing, and she said, oh, you know....."Sarah" (studious DD) is stressing me out with her extreme studying, and "Rivka" (chilled DD) is stressing me out with her total lack of studying.....

But there definitely is a certain amount of pressure. I read thru 30 pages of notes with my DD last Shabbos - historia, you guessed it.... but it was more about facts, interpretations, and lessons, than dates in my DD's school. I actually like that, because that's the point of learning historia really - to learn from the past.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 11:18 am
So my personal stress....yesterday DD spent 6 hours studying with a friend (including some breaks to walk to a nearby place for sushi)...and called me to pick her up from other side of town.....came home stressed out, told me that it was mostly a waste because friend has a different studying style, and it didn't really work for DD, but she felt bad....so they only got one subject done during that time, so help Ma!

I had other plans for the evening but fit in 1 1/2 hours of Math tutoring (during which DD stressed that my method was not matching her teacher's method, but we figured out a way....) and another of Navi (I can now list you the 16 Nissim that came about thru Elisha, a bunch of Maamrei Chazal, people and places and some Mi Amar L'Mi...) My plans went out the window, and to top it off I slept fitfully as my head was buzzing with random math equations.

I'm zonked and that was day 1.....help everyone. Two more weeks of this.
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amother
Oatmeal


 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 11:26 am
She learned all of the material in school.
She needs to figure out how to study on her own.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 11:34 am
amother Oatmeal wrote:
She learned all of the material in school.
She needs to figure out how to study on her own.


Yeah but it's rough.
There's all this social pressure to study with friends...and sometimes it doesn't work out.
And I find myself caught in the middle.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 12:00 pm
amother Oatmeal wrote:
She learned all of the material in school.
She needs to figure out how to study on her own.

This. I don’t do homework with my kids past 5th grade. They can come to me if they have a question but I’m definitely not tutoring or re-teaching. They can either study with friends or alone. Whichever they feel is more productive.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 12:06 pm
amother Wheat wrote:
This. I don’t do homework with my kids past 5th grade. They can come to me if they have a question but I’m definitely not tutoring or re-teaching. They can either study with friends or alone. Whichever they feel is more productive.


So the night before a big final, your teen comes to you and says turns out they don't know how to implement the quadratic formula, or a chemical compound, or they don't understand the concept of batul bshishim or whatever. What would you do?
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amother
Bluebell


 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 12:16 pm
Try helping with Trei asar … I never learned that. Why do I have to kill mystery because it wasn’t taught well and my daughter is petrified of failing?

And biology.. my daughter asked me to help her with dominant and recessive genes. I KNOW I learned it but it’s been too many years.

I would be the biggest advocate of a good BY type hs that doesn’t give tests.

Let them learn! But stop the tests and fear of getting a bad grade.
And this is something that I want to shout out loud from a rooftop about— dd’s school made them PAY if they failed a midterm! BH my daughter didn’t fail but I was livid when I heard this rule. Do they think a student WANTS to fail??? Maybe first ask them how many hours they studied for before you make them pay and take the test again.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 12:20 pm
keym wrote:
So the night before a big final, your teen comes to you and says turns out they don't know how to implement the quadratic formula, or a chemical compound, or they don't understand the concept of batul bshishim or whatever. What would you do?

If they weren’t absent and didn’t pick it up in class they’d probably have tutoring set up for them way before the final! I absolutely do not teach material they were taught in school. If they don’t know it it’s a sign of a problem all year round not just the night before the test.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 12:24 pm
amother Wheat wrote:
If they weren’t absent and didn’t pick it up in class they’d probably have tutoring set up for them way before the final! I absolutely do not teach material they were taught in school. If they don’t know it it’s a sign of a problem all year round not just the night before the test.


I guess my kid is unusual.
In that she listens, takes notes, thinks she understands, and yet when she sits down to study discovers that she got confused by a concept, forgot a crucial piece, or something like that.
Me sitting with her and reviewing, teaching for an hour can get her a 97. By herself a 81.
Yeah, I'll help her a bit
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 12:58 pm
amother Bluebell wrote:
Try helping with Trei asar … I never learned that. Why do I have to kill mystery because it wasn’t taught well and my daughter is petrified of failing?

And biology.. my daughter asked me to help her with dominant and recessive genes. I KNOW I learned it but it’s been too many years.

I would be the biggest advocate of a good BY type hs that doesn’t give tests.

Let them learn! But stop the tests and fear of getting a bad grade.
And this is something that I want to shout out loud from a rooftop about— dd’s school made them PAY if they failed a midterm! BH my daughter didn’t fail but I was livid when I heard this rule. Do they think a student WANTS to fail??? Maybe first ask them how many hours they studied for before you make them pay and take the test again.


Even the subjects I learned in school...it has been many moons since then. Plus, I learned it a different way. A different meforash. A different focus....(sigh)

They had to pay for what? To retake it? Was it cost of the proctoring teacher?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 12:59 pm
amother Wheat wrote:
This. I don’t do homework with my kids past 5th grade. They can come to me if they have a question but I’m definitely not tutoring or re-teaching. They can either study with friends or alone. Whichever they feel is more productive.


My daughter is bright but has difficulty focusing. Sitting with her to do those math examples spelled the difference between getting thru them, or not.
I actually tried to set up tutoring for her at school, but the tutor got married and wasn't available.
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amother
Oatmeal


 

Post Thu, Jun 08 2023, 1:21 pm
keym wrote:
I guess my kid is unusual.
In that she listens, takes notes, thinks she understands, and yet when she sits down to study discovers that she got confused by a concept, forgot a crucial piece, or something like that.
Me sitting with her and reviewing, teaching for an hour can get her a 97. By herself a 81.
Yeah, I'll help her a bit


What’s wrong with a 81?
I think an 81 is great in a 1/25 teacher student ratio.
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