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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Jan 22 2023, 12:46 pm
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There is a woman in my community that attends some zoom shuirim classes that I attend. Her mother sometimes attended one of the classes. She doesn’t know me. Her mother passed away. Is it weird to pay a shiva call to this woman?
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amother
Peony
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Sun, Jan 22 2023, 12:48 pm
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No its not weird. Its kind. As long as you stay for 5 minutes max, and just say I was sorry to hear of your loss. And don't ask personal questions because you don't know her.
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amother
Clear
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Sun, Jan 22 2023, 1:00 pm
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I'm sure she would appreciate it!
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amother
Lavender
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Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:24 pm
Not weird at all. very thoughtful. just don't stay overlong (whether you know her or not) and obey all other etiquette rules of shiva like not showing up at 8:55 pm if shiva hours are from 9 am to 9pm.
What I remember most clearly from my shivas --aside from folks who told me amazing stories I never knew about my dear departed--were people who hung around all day (trust me, NOBODY appreciated that)or showed up at 9 pm and stuck around till 11. When it says shiva hours are X am to Y pm, it means that before Y pm you skedaddle, not "last customer will be seated at Y pm."
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Chickensoupprof
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Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:25 pm
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Not at all, every call or text is appreciated.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Sun, Jan 22 2023, 4:09 pm
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I just went to a shiva last night for someone I only "know" from an occasional zoom class. Totally within reasonable etiquette
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chocolate moose
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Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:13 pm
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