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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
Shabbos food- Hashem pays it back
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:33 pm
What does that mean?

Should one buy caviar at $500/lb as opposed to a loaf of gefilta fish?
Does one buy the most expensive cut of meat as opposed to finding a great recipe for what is on sale that week -or buying in advance when something is on sale?

I understand the concept of nice for Shabbos; saving the best /special for Shabbos, doing the extra work and bringing your creative A game for Shabbos. But what is meant by Hashem pays it back? I feel like it is an excuse to be fiscally irresponsible. Chulent exists because it stretched the small piece of meat for a large family (and enabled hot food on a cold Polish day).
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amother
Mulberry


 

Post Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:43 pm
It has to do with how much emunah you really have and what your intentions are for buying extra. is it because special for shabbos? or is it because you like good food and your using shabbos as an excuse?
The gemara I believe says you should spend up to a 1/3 more than what you usually would
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:46 pm
amother Mulberry wrote:
It has to do with how much emunah you really have and what your intentions are for buying extra. is it because special for shabbos? or is it because you like good food and your using shabbos as an excuse?
The gemara I believe says you should spend up to a 1/3 more than what you usually would

What you would usually spend for a special treat or for a regular meal? For a regular meal makes sense but what I see here causes me to have some questions
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amother
Chambray


 

Post Sun, Jan 22 2023, 8:20 pm
My husband takes it quite literally. He buys the nicest and the best and we end up using lot of it till middle of the week, but it was bought for shabbos.

Took me some time to ok with it. But I must say that he really means it! He really has in mind to honor shabbos. Like he can buy a chopped liver and smoked lox and herring... and eat a little from each and really enjoy it and say lkoved shabbos kodesh. He doesn't just buy as a gimmik to just eat all you want and Hashem will repay... He does it with such joy and love for shabbos.
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amother
Darkblue


 

Post Sun, Jan 22 2023, 8:42 pm
amother Chambray wrote:
My husband takes it quite literally. He buys the nicest and the best and we end up using lot of it till middle of the week, but it was bought for shabbos.

Took me some time to ok with it. But I must say that he really means it! He really has in mind to honor shabbos. Like he can buy a chopped liver and smoked lox and herring... and eat a little from each and really enjoy it and say lkoved shabbos kodesh. He doesn't just buy as a gimmik to just eat all you want and Hashem will repay... He does it with such joy and love for shabbos.


Thats so beautiful and refreshing!
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WitchKitty




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 2:28 am
For a while, I saved my receipts, and only threw out what was paid back. Everything I bought for shabbos was calculated, and I actually saw how every single shekel was returned. Hashem pays it back is literal.
I like reading in the gemara about what people did for shabbos.. I like reading how shammai found better meat every day. I try to forget about price when it comes to shabbos. It's not as easy as you think.. being so calculating the rest of the week and just forgetting about it and trusting the money will be returned..
I grew up with that emunah, my parents used to hand us kids each a 10 shekel coin (worth more then Sad ) and send us to the store Friday to buy whatever we want.
I read an article in a magazine this week about someone who built a 'shabbos suite' extension to the apartment. The family did not have much money, and the article actually detailed each part of the table- plates, tablecloth, etc.- how they got it.
Their apartment is simple and poor, but the shabbos room- there were pictures- is beautiful. They put in a kitchenette, bookshelves, a couch, a/c... All locked up during the week and opened for shabbos.
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Reality




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 5:53 am
amother OP wrote:
What does that mean?

Should one buy caviar at $500/lb as opposed to a loaf of gefilta fish?
Does one buy the most expensive cut of meat as opposed to finding a great recipe for what is on sale that week -or buying in advance when something is on sale?

I understand the concept of nice for Shabbos; saving the best /special for Shabbos, doing the extra work and bringing your creative A game for Shabbos. But what is meant by Hashem pays it back? I feel like it is an excuse to be fiscally irresponsible. Chulent exists because it stretched the small piece of meat for a large family (and enabled hot food on a cold Polish day).


It means buy and save YOUR nicest for shabbos. What is the nicest is subjective. What one spends depends on how people budget. I have yet to meet the person who uses buying food for shabbos as their excuse for fiscal irresponsibility. Irresponsible people are irresponsible in many ways. Their shabbos shopping is the least of their problems!

As for cholent, your attitude continues to be quite negative. Cholent doesn't exist because of cold Polish winters and poor Jews. All Jews have the minhag to eat a hot stew shabbos lunch, regardless of wealth. It's considered a sign of being a Jew who believes in Torah she'baal peh, as opposed to other sects throughout history that only believed in the Torah she'bictav. Like the karaim (karites), for example. Yes, wealthy sefardic Jews served Chamim and other varieties of "cholent".
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SoGrateful




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 9:37 am
WitchKitty wrote:
For a while, I saved my receipts, and only threw out what was paid back. Everything I bought for shabbos was calculated, and I actually saw how every single shekel was returned. Hashem pays it back is literal.
I like reading in the gemara about what people did for shabbos.. I like reading how shammai found better meat every day. I try to forget about price when it comes to shabbos. It's not as easy as you think.. being so calculating the rest of the week and just forgetting about it and trusting the money will be returned..
I grew up with that emunah, my parents used to hand us kids each a 10 shekel coin (worth more then Sad ) and send us to the store Friday to buy whatever we want.
I read an article in a magazine this week about someone who built a 'shabbos suite' extension to the apartment. The family did not have much money, and the article actually detailed each part of the table- plates, tablecloth, etc.- how they got it.
Their apartment is simple and poor, but the shabbos room- there were pictures- is beautiful. They put in a kitchenette, bookshelves, a couch, a/c... All locked up during the week and opened for shabbos.


I’d like to read that article. What magazine was it in? It sounds lovely. A link if they have it online would be great. Thanks.
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amother
Celeste


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:06 am
So I had a hard time with this concept. My husband is the most generous soul and really goes all out for shabbos. I always tried to keep quiet about it until one week he spent almost a thousand dollars on shabbos!! We have two kids and had a couple as shabbos guests. I was ready to scream. I then told him that going forward I would be doing the shopping for shabbos. So that’s what I did for the next few weeks. My husband was telling his friend about his shopping ban when his friend yelled at him “you crazy, don’t come complaining to me that there’s no money in the account. Shabbos is your source of bracha” my husband then repeated it to me and I freaked out Bec the few weeks that we didn’t go all out for shabbos, business was much slower. I relinquished the shabbos shopping back to my husband and bh we are really seeing bracha.
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amother
Topaz


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:19 am
I always have this discussion with my DH
Does that mean spend 5K+ on a Sheitel
Does that mean buy takeout EVERY Shabbos because Le kavod Shabbos for me means well rested
Does le kavod Yom Tov mean go to the best resort

Maybe that’s the secret among the rich

I have a little story to tell
If it’s too long just pass it

My SIL, lives in EY
She went to a local shop to see if there was something nice Le Kavod Yom Tov
She found a really nice top that was 100shekels and decided it was out of her budget. Eventhough she loved the top she left it. She had the money but decided it’s not worth spending it on the top because money was tight

Erev Pesach her refrigerator broke down
Repair man came and it was a very simple fix
100shekels

Her view was B”H I didn’t spend it on the top because now I can pay the repair.

My view, on RH HASHEM designated those 100shekels to be spent Le Kavod Yom Tov
Since she did not use them on the top it wasn’t hers to use for something else. She should have bought the top
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amother
Linen


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:11 am
amother Chambray wrote:
My husband takes it quite literally. He buys the nicest and the best and we end up using lot of it till middle of the week, but it was bought for shabbos.

Took me some time to ok with it. But I must say that he really means it! He really has in mind to honor shabbos. Like he can buy a chopped liver and smoked lox and herring... and eat a little from each and really enjoy it and say lkoved shabbos kodesh. He doesn't just buy as a gimmik to just eat all you want and Hashem will repay... He does it with such joy and love for shabbos.


I could have written this word for word. My husband does the same and it's still very hard for me since he buys things I feel we don't need or we have too much extra after shabbos.
But he really believes shabbos is the bracha for the Parnassa of the week.

I really have to work on myself to truly believe as well.
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amother
Almond


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:24 am
amother OP wrote:
What does that mean?

Should one buy caviar at $500/lb as opposed to a loaf of gefilta fish?
Does one buy the most expensive cut of meat as opposed to finding a great recipe for what is on sale that week -or buying in advance when something is on sale?

I understand the concept of nice for Shabbos; saving the best /special for Shabbos, doing the extra work and bringing your creative A game for Shabbos. But what is meant by Hashem pays it back? I feel like it is an excuse to be fiscally irresponsible. Chulent exists because it stretched the small piece of meat for a large family (and enabled hot food on a cold Polish day).


Keep the mitzvah of Shabbos and Hashem will keep you covered. In my opinion.
I don't splurge on Shabbos . I buy what we need and at good prices. NEED = the basics. I do not go all out almost all the time. At night salmon, rice, chicken soup and a dip or two. If we are up to it, we make a salad and/or a roasted veggie.
We get home at 3 on Fridays and Thursday rarely is an opportunity to cook so it's simple and budget friendly.
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amother
Topaz


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:16 pm
For me it means Salmon and Beef on Shabbos and Rosh Chodesh 1 meal with Beef
We eat chicken on the bone weekday and if I find a good price sometimes ground beef, some days parve, some days dairy
YT I pick more expensive cuts of meat veal lamb
But all this is with in our budget.

I’m frugal when it comes to clothing, but maybe I shouldn’t be as frugal
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amother
NeonYellow


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 3:49 pm
I also have a hard time with this concept. I don't understand where to draw the line.

I can buy, anything, like really anything and say its for shabbos and it will be paid back?
$30/lb steak, $10 per pop ices, $150 bottles of wine/shnapps, expensive paper goods, drinks, dips, salads, cake and challah? All of them? Some of them? Not such crazy expensive ones? So where do I draw the line?

Also, is it really lkavod shabbos, or is it lkavod my personal enjoyement/convenience, with shabbos as an excuse? It feel so fake sometimes.

Not saying its not real, I just haven't found answers yet.
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 4:01 pm
amother OP wrote:
What does that mean?

Should one buy caviar at $500/lb as opposed to a loaf of gefilta fish?
Does one buy the most expensive cut of meat as opposed to finding a great recipe for what is on sale that week -or buying in advance when something is on sale?

I understand the concept of nice for Shabbos; saving the best /special for Shabbos, doing the extra work and bringing your creative A game for Shabbos. But what is meant by Hashem pays it back? I feel like it is an excuse to be fiscally irresponsible. Chulent exists because it stretched the small piece of meat for a large family (and enabled hot food on a cold Polish day).


I actually asked what this concept means and I was told (and my beis medrash age son learned it too) that Hashem does give a person back every cent they spend on Shabbos (on Rosh Hashana Hashem decrees how much money each person will have that year) and that we are supposed to buy extra nice, fancy, and more expensive foods l’kavod Shabbos, and specifically that it’s extra good to buy them on Friday.
Common sense would dictate not to make yourself broke by buying 5 lbs of caviar but for sure we are to spend more money on nicer items that we usually wouldn’t during the week.

It explained to me why I see so many people in nice stores on Friday mornings really spending, buying extravagant foods as if they have all the money in the world.
I worked on myself and started buying nice, expensive things on Friday and trying not to look at the price.
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 4:04 pm
amother Chambray wrote:
My husband takes it quite literally. He buys the nicest and the best and we end up using lot of it till middle of the week, but it was bought for shabbos.

Took me some time to ok with it. But I must say that he really means it! He really has in mind to honor shabbos. Like he can buy a chopped liver and smoked lox and herring... and eat a little from each and really enjoy it and say lkoved shabbos kodesh. He doesn't just buy as a gimmik to just eat all you want and Hashem will repay... He does it with such joy and love for shabbos.


As it should be
I buy my kids the raw (sushi grade) fish they love, tuna at $55 a lb! I just buy a few slices of that and a few of the salmon for each child and they savor it.
Also some beef jerky, a few pieces each, and some special desserts.
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 4:06 pm
WitchKitty wrote:
For a while, I saved my receipts, and only threw out what was paid back. Everything I bought for shabbos was calculated, and I actually saw how every single shekel was returned. Hashem pays it back is literal.
I like reading in the gemara about what people did for shabbos.. I like reading how shammai found better meat every day. I try to forget about price when it comes to shabbos. It's not as easy as you think.. being so calculating the rest of the week and just forgetting about it and trusting the money will be returned..
I grew up with that emunah, my parents used to hand us kids each a 10 shekel coin (worth more then Sad ) and send us to the store Friday to buy whatever we want.
I read an article in a magazine this week about someone who built a 'shabbos suite' extension to the apartment. The family did not have much money, and the article actually detailed each part of the table- plates, tablecloth, etc.- how they got it.
Their apartment is simple and poor, but the shabbos room- there were pictures- is beautiful. They put in a kitchenette, bookshelves, a couch, a/c... All locked up during the week and opened for shabbos.


I don’t think it’s a good idea to check and see if every penny is paid back because I’m sure it’s not always immediate.
That’s where emunah should come in. Don’t look to get the reward right away
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 4:09 pm
amother Almond wrote:
Keep the mitzvah of Shabbos and Hashem will keep you covered. In my opinion.
I don't splurge on Shabbos . I buy what we need and at good prices. NEED = the basics. I do not go all out almost all the time. At night salmon, rice, chicken soup and a dip or two. If we are up to it, we make a salad and/or a roasted veggie.
We get home at 3 on Fridays and Thursday rarely is an opportunity to cook so it's simple and budget friendly.


That’s not what we’re discussing
We’re talking about the inyan of buying a special, extra nice, extra expensive (more than usual) food(s) for Shabbos
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WitchKitty




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 4:17 pm
amother Nemesia wrote:
I don’t think it’s a good idea to check and see if every penny is paid back because I’m sure it’s not always immediate.
That’s where emunah should come in. Don’t look to get the reward right away

Well, it works.
So why not do it?
Why would I need blind belief if for months of tracking everything, every penny was returned?
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amother
Topaz


 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 4:33 pm
DH and I just discuss this
As long as you don’t need to borrow money for this, then you can spend
I guess that also means owing cc
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