What happens if I don't toilet train my kid?

amother

Zinnia

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:17 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Kids shouldn't be walking around naked. It's the message your teaching them. But you do you.

Did you ever toilet train a kid?

The message I want to teach my kids is not to have any negative association with their privates. Many kids grow up to be adults are embarrassed of their privates and their zex life suffers because of it.

Besides there is an appropriate time for everything. When they are being trained we discuss with them the bathroom all day. Are we teaching them that they should be discussing the bathroom life all day with their friends in school?

mommy201

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:20 pm

I agree that your kid won’t walk down to chuppa in diapers. They technically don’t need to be trained and will train themselves. If you’re ok waiting and there’s no other problem factors then go for it. he’ll figure it out and train himself, and it’s much easier and less stressful then training.
I stopped believing in many training methods for kids, whether it is to sleep train, toilet train.,… Kids are humans and they don’t need training. they need direction, encouragement, warmth and love. This doesn’t mean to say that training “doesn’t work” it def “works” but usually at the expense of the parent and maybe the child…

amother

Crocus

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:24 pm

My son was 3.5 and didn't want to go to the bathroom so I didn't care and had no patience to force him
By sep (his bday is jan , was turning 4) he needed to be toilet trained to go to school
So I made a big deal bought him underwear and told him that he should go to bathroom when he needs
He barely had any accidents...had a few wet was uncomfortable and was totally fine
I literally never trained him

amother

DarkGray

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:32 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

I second this. That's the way to go. If you leave him naked for 3 days at home he will train himself. Once he is half trained you can send him to playgroup and they will help you. So you are only busy with it from when he comes home until he goes to sleep. When he comes home keep him naked until he goes to sleep.

[quote]
I’m not sure how much the playgroup morahs will appreciate that. I mean it’s not even their own kid! It’s even too hard for you, why would you think it’s easier for them?! I’m incredulous here. They get paid to watch and teach your toddler- not toilet train him cuz you don’t have the patience for it!
(Different story if the kid is fully trained at home and then you send him. Obviously the morah will have to keep it up but to rely on her to do the other half of training is cruel. No wonder there is a morah shortage.)

amother

Garnet

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:35 pm

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

My son had no interest in being trained. When he was 3yr 8mos old, I told him I'm putting him on underwear. He didn't protest so I went ahead with it. I put them on and he basically trained himself that day. He had 1 accident.

I have all boys and did the same thing with each when they were approximately 3. Never had to "toilet train".

amother

Narcissus

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:36 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Please don't leave him naked!! He will feel so open and not comfortable. IMO.

My toddlers love to run around naked. They'd be naked all day if it's up to them. It's very common for babies and toddlers to like being naked. There's a time and place, age and stage, for everything.

amother

Zinnia

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:56 pm

[quote="amother DarkGray"]

Quote:

I’m not sure how much the playgroup morahs will appreciate that. I mean it’s not even their own kid! It’s even too hard for you, why would you think it’s easier for them?! I’m incredulous here. They get paid to watch and teach your toddler- not toilet train him cuz you don’t have the patience for it!
(Different story if the kid is fully trained at home and then you send him. Obviously the morah will have to keep it up but to rely on her to do the other half of training is cruel. No wonder there is a morah shortage.)

I'm a playgroup morah and that is the standard. As soon as the kid is trained halfway they are sent to playgroup and they finish being trained. Many mothers say that their kids are trained when they are not. Our policy is that if the kid doesn't even know that he made an accident we put them back in diapers. But if the kid is sad about it and knows it was a mistake we just change them and continue taking them to the bathroom at bathroom/diaper time. For many kids that is enough and they get trained that way. If a kid continues having accidents every day then we put them back in diapers.

We don't bother with special methods or timers....we have regular bathroom time where we take all kids to the bathroom, and we take them when they ask to go. Many kids don't need more than that if they are ready.

amother

Peach

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 8:01 pm

My 2 year old son was very aware and self conscious about his private parts. It took some time to train him because he didn't want anyone to watch or see him on the toilet. He also has anxiety due to speech delays. He was physically ready at 2.5 I had to wait until 3 after reassuring him repeatedly that mommy could see him on the toilet and could wipe him just like when he wore diapers. Not all kids are the same. Now my current 2 year old will likely train herself at 2.5, once she decides she wants to be a big girl...

BrisketBoss

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 8:25 pm

You don't have to 'train' them at any point (as long as not dealing with pressures from school I guess). Either they'll start doing it on their own or when they're like 4.5 you can just casually run out of diapers or something. Some kids can use that little nudge when they get older. But the point is, you don't have to make it about control.

GLUE

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:40 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

Did you try leaving him naked? Maybe he’ll train easily. Leave him naked for 3 days and see what happens. Are your older kids interested in helping him go to the bathroom? You can make it a family project.

The problem of letting a kid run around with out clothes, if they make in a corner you will have no way of knowing about it because many times it will dry up before you find it.
So you think they are trained and are really not.

dovebird

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:49 pm

I didn't train my daughter because I had no patience .... She was three. Woke up one morning and her diaper was dry, so I put her in underwear. And that was it. No accidents, and underwear even for bed! Best ever
Eta she was exposed to the toilet and the whole concept before

Last edited by dovebird on Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:53 pm; edited 1 time in total

BrisketBoss

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:51 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

I don't get it. It's easier to change multiple wet and poop diapers (of a 3.5 year old,ugh!) than toilet train?

I don't get the 3.5yo thing people keep talking about. The poop's not any grosser than it was when they first started eating a significant amount of solids, and they're not as wiggly as they were when they were younger.

dancingqueen

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:52 pm

dovebird wrote:

I didn't train my daughter because I had no pacience.... She was three. Woke up one morning and her diaper was dry, so I put her in underwear. And that was it. No accidents, and underwear even for bed! Best ever

That’s the dream.

dovebird

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:56 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

I don't get it. It's easier to change multiple wet and poop diapers (of a 3.5 year old,ugh!) than toilet train?

Yes. Because at that age you are still helping them wipe, wash their hands ect.... And then you have to clean all the accidents. And wash the sheets and clothing ....

amother

Buttercup

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 10:01 pm

GLUE wrote:

The area will smell, it's highly unlikely you will miss it when they have an accident.

BrisketBoss

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:06 am

amother Peachpuff wrote:

Interesting question , maybe they do train themselves eventually.

They do! Although 'train' isn't the right word if they're just doing it on their own timeline. If other things were as inconvenient as diapers, we'd make up utensil training for meal times and things like that. (And that sounds less risky, because you can physically manipulate their fork in their hand, but you can't make them move their bowels on your command.)

amother

Hyssop

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 1:40 am

amother Rainbow wrote:

This is a common training method and works for 99% of kids. Don’t project your insecurities on children.

I've never heard of this.
To me, dealing with wet or dirty underwear is the common method that works for 99% of kids. They feel uncomfortable in wet underwear and learn to not get it dirty again.
My mother trained her kids while respecting their privates.
I trained mine while respecting their privacy. I can deal with dirty underwear. it's part of training kids.