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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
Cost of bar mitzvah
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amother
Peach


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:02 am
I think I paid about 15k for about 100 ppl in a local hall, weeknight affair. That was with tefillin, clothes, etc. It was the standard that was offered and I added simple flower arrangements for the women's side. I also did a dessert buffet and bought a few things like the fancy cakes, miniatures and fruit cups, and my daughters made some homemade cookies too. The hall did the set up for me, I had the cakes delivered straight to the hall. I just had to put out cookies which were already on platters that we did at home. It took less than a min.

Maybe do the math. If $27/pp is lower end, figure $35 per person times 40 ppl is $1,400 per meal. Then round up for additional costs like the flowers and waiters. Plus the hall rental if it won't be in your own home...
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amother
Aster


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:07 am
amother Peach wrote:
I think I paid about 15k for about 100 ppl in a local hall, weeknight affair. That was with tefillin, clothes, etc. It was the standard that was offered and I added simple flower arrangements for the women's side. I also did a dessert buffet and bought a few things like the fancy cakes, miniatures and fruit cups, and my daughters made some homemade cookies too. The hall did the set up for me, I had the cakes delivered straight to the hall. I just had to put out cookies which were already on platters that we did at home. It took less than a min.

Maybe do the math. If $27/pp is lower end, figure $35 per person times 40 ppl is $1,400 per meal. Then round up for additional costs like the flowers and waiters. Plus the hall rental if it won't be in your own home...


The meal is more like $40 p/p for nice, elegant but not over the top
The less ppl you have the more expensive it is p/p
Add -
Music
Centerpieces for ladies section
Photographer
Bentchers
Not sure what else you will need

Add to that dresses, shoes, hat, makeup, hair&sheitel
It all adds up

Can you do the men’s kiddush and Shabbat meal yourself with the help of a friend
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:09 am
amother DarkGray wrote:
I agree with this. The $50k numbers are much higher end. Call Estria- their price for catering includes the hall rental and they include basic tablecloths. They also set up a simple sweet table if you provide the pastries. You would need to order benchers, centrepieces (flowers or candles etc), and take care of music.

A $50k bar mitzvah to me is with a party planner that’s renting chairs, high end flowers, large sweet table, fancy dishes, glassware, chargers, high end musician, high end caterer etc. old time lakewooders don’t spend near or close to $50k, just pretend to be one of them!

A mens kiddush in shul shouldn’t be more than $2.5k unless you’re ordering crazy stuff


And catering 3 meals on Shabbos for max 40 people?
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gdgirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:12 am
many have a 50 person minimum or they add an additional per person fee
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:13 am
amother Cappuccino wrote:
There was a pretty detailed thread on this a few months back including breakdowns of other costs ie tefillin, clothing, etc.


That was also Brooklyn and Oot. I think Lakewood is cheaper.
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amother
Aster


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:20 am
amother OP wrote:
And catering 3 meals on Shabbos for max 40 people?

Yes if you include everything she’s asking about
She can’t do anything herself
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:22 am
amother Peach wrote:
I think I paid about 15k for about 100 ppl in a local hall, weeknight affair. That was with tefillin, clothes, etc. It was the standard that was offered and I added simple flower arrangements for the women's side. I also did a dessert buffet and bought a few things like the fancy cakes, miniatures and fruit cups, and my daughters made some homemade cookies too. The hall did the set up for me, I had the cakes delivered straight to the hall. I just had to put out cookies which were already on platters that we did at home. It took less than a min.

Maybe do the math. If $27/pp is lower end, figure $35 per person times 40 ppl is $1,400 per meal. Then round up for additional costs like the flowers and waiters. Plus the hall rental if it won't be in your own home...



Where did you do it?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:27 am
amother Fuchsia wrote:
Where did you do it?


Right. Can people post the names of the halls? That would be super helpful.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:39 am
I'm not in Lakewood. And I did not make a bar mitzvah yet. My first bar mitzvah will be in a year and a half. I did make a nice baby kiddush last summer and had about 75 people per meal. I did a full shabbos with three meals. I am the type that does a lot myself. It cost me about $7,000 for the shabbos.
This was for food before shabbos, the Friday night meal, the shabbos day meal, a full nice kiddish, and shalosh seudos. I hired waiters. They there the entire day and I served the meals mostly buffet style.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:47 am
amother Powderblue wrote:
I'm not in Lakewood. And I did not make a bar mitzvah yet. My first bar mitzvah will be in a year and a half. I did make a nice baby kiddush last summer and had about 75 people per meal. I did a full shabbos with three meals. I am the type that does a lot myself. It cost me about $7,000 for the shabbos.
This was for food before shabbos, the Friday night meal, the shabbos day meal, a full nice kiddish, and shalosh seudos. I hired waiters. They there the entire day and I served the meals mostly buffet style.


Incredible that you were up to cooking food post baby! Wow!
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amother
DarkGray


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:52 am
amother OP wrote:
And catering 3 meals on Shabbos for max 40 people?


You’re having people for meals but no ladies kiddush? You do not have to cater shalosh seudos (esp if it’s winter) ask the caterer for extra rolls and use extra dips and salads from meal. Maybe order a fish platter and a few salads.

Where are you doing the meals? Do you need to rent tables and chairs? Each catered meal (basics) will prob cost between 2-3k by time you are done with waiters, mashgiach, hall rental etc…
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amother
Moccasin


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:56 am
I’m not in Lakewood, but I’m curious- do most shuls/halls allow you to bring homemade food?? I’m in Baltimore and it’s pretty standard none of the shuls/halls will allow that. It’s a shame because I’d love to bring down Bar Mitzvah costs by cooking/baking some things myself, but apparently it’s not an option.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 10:03 am
amother DarkGray wrote:
You’re having people for meals but no ladies kiddush? You do not have to cater shalosh seudos (esp if it’s winter) ask the caterer for extra rolls and use extra dips and salads from meal. Maybe order a fish platter and a few salads.

Where are you doing the meals? Do you need to rent tables and chairs? Each catered meal (basics) will prob cost between 2-3k by time you are done with waiters, mashgiach, hall rental etc…


Summer, not winter. Either at home or in the shul.

Correct, meals for out of town guests but no ladies kiddush.
(I would obviously do a breakfast spread in my home for the female guests)
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 11:15 am
amother OP wrote:
Summer, not winter. Either at home or in the shul.

Correct, meals for out of town guests but no ladies kiddush.
(I would obviously do a breakfast spread in my home for the female guests)

This summer?

I haven't made one yet but I am making one this year. I booked the hall and I separately booked and then planner that is going to take care of pretty much everything for the night event.

Some people book a hall that has an in-house caterer and they set everything up and if you want to upgrade, or make it fancier sometimes you could bring in your own party planner who will spruce it up with flowers Etc, some halls might have a party planner that they work with and that you pay a little less for.

If you are looking to do something even fancier you would book a hall where you can bring in your own caterer and event planner.

Like everyone has said, the prices range from much cheaper (bnos bracha), middle (estreia) and very expensive when you go to a place like Eagle Ridge, or Ridge Terrace or ateres malka where you usually have to hire an event planner because they don't have anything.

Even if someone did something last year prices might have changed so I would advise that you start calling around.

If you don't have a budget then you could just pick a place that you like and it doesn't matter how much it costs.
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amother
DarkMagenta


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 11:23 am
Quote:
So the Shabbos would be another $20k by itself?
I wouldn’t do a woman’s kiddish, just men, and standard not fancy. Shabbos meals for about 30-35 ppl

Pretty nice is midrange or higher end?


Wow!! That pricing is high. I live in Baltimore and just made a bar mitzvah. We had it catered. Kiddush for the shul in shul(men and women -- not simple but not over the top fancy either) plus friday night and shabbos day meals for 40-50 people (closer to 40 fri night and closer to 50 shabbos day) cost us less than 7K for the whole shabbos.

Yes, there were other costs--clothing, tefillin, etc. But the shabbos itself was less than $7,000.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 11:26 am
amother Cerise wrote:
This summer?

I haven't made one yet but I am making one this year. I booked the hall and I separately booked and then planner that is going to take care of pretty much everything for the night event.

Some people book a hall that has an in-house caterer and they set everything up and if you want to upgrade, or make it fancier sometimes you could bring in your own party planner who will spruce it up with flowers Etc, some halls might have a party planner that they work with and that you pay a little less for.

If you are looking to do something even fancier you would book a hall where you can bring in your own caterer and event planner.

Like everyone has said, the prices range from much cheaper (bnos bracha), middle (estreia) and very expensive when you go to a place like Eagle Ridge, or Ridge Terrace or ateres malka where you usually have to hire an event planner because they don't have anything.

Even if someone did something last year prices might have changed so I would advise that you start calling around.

If you don't have a budget then you could just pick a place that you like and it doesn't matter how much it costs.


I’d prefer to stay closer to 25 than 50 but for sure don’t want to go over 50.
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amother
Cadetblue


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 12:14 pm
amother Cerise wrote:
This summer?

I haven't made one yet but I am making one this year. I booked the hall and I separately booked and then planner that is going to take care of pretty much everything for the night event.

Some people book a hall that has an in-house caterer and they set everything up and if you want to upgrade, or make it fancier sometimes you could bring in your own party planner who will spruce it up with flowers Etc, some halls might have a party planner that they work with and that you pay a little less for.

If you are looking to do something even fancier you would book a hall where you can bring in your own caterer and event planner.

Like everyone has said, the prices range from much cheaper (bnos bracha), middle (estreia) and very expensive when you go to a place like Eagle Ridge, or Ridge Terrace or ateres malka where you usually have to hire an event planner because they don't have anything.

Even if someone did something last year prices might have changed so I would advise that you start calling around.

If you don't have a budget then you could just pick a place that you like and it doesn't matter how much it costs.


In what way is Estreia different than say, Ridge terrace? I understand I need to hire a caterer for ridge terrace but what does Estreia provide that ridge terrace doesn't?
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amother
Maize


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 12:35 pm
amother Fuchsia wrote:
Simcha caterers is $27/person. That might help your calculations.



He is the cheapest caterer in town and he’s very low end his food really doesn’t taste good.

If you want to go that route you can get away with a pretty cheap event.

But if you want to make a more balebatish event it will cost. Party planners charge a lot plus they get commission on what ever you spend so they try to get you to spend more.
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amother
Maize


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 12:36 pm
amother OP wrote:
I’m the type that has zero creativity etc so I’m
Looking for it to all be done for me start to finish for the evening event, and for Shabbos the caterer should do everything- tablecloths etc or a party planner for that. But no women’s kiddush (for now at least, I’ll see if I change my mind)
I want it to be nice but not ostentatious. Middle of the road. I’m not looking to cut corners.
Anyone have pricing for these types of events? Again my family is small.


Call Tessler caterers he does nice events but he doesn’t spend crazy and really helps you make a nice event on a budget.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 12:46 pm
amother Maize wrote:
Call Tessler caterers he does nice events but he doesn’t spend crazy and really helps you make a nice event on a budget.


I’m the one who spent $13k. I used him. It was really beautiful
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