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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
Cost of bar mitzvah
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 12:47 pm
amother Maize wrote:
He is the cheapest caterer in town and he’s very low end his food really doesn’t taste good.

If you want to go that route you can get away with a pretty cheap event.

But if you want to make a more balebatish event it will cost. Party planners charge a lot plus they get commission on what ever you spend so they try to get you to spend more.


Right so I don’t want lowest. I also don’t want ridiculous fancy. I want middle of the road. Thanks I guess I have to call directly and see what the cost is.
As far as Shabbos the numbers here were not conclusive. Is it 15 k? 25? 30?
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amother
Maize


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 1:22 pm
amother OP wrote:
Right so I don’t want lowest. I also don’t want ridiculous fancy. I want middle of the road. Thanks I guess I have to call directly and see what the cost is.
As far as Shabbos the numbers here were not conclusive. Is it 15 k? 25? 30?



I just made a really nice shabbos bar mitzvah. The cost was over $60,000 just for shabbos. If you want middle of the road expect to pay at least $20,000 if
Not more. A really nice mens kiddish not fancy just good and a lot of food is $3,5000 just for the caterers fee. And that’s before tables or chair rentals or tablecloths or props.
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amother
Jasmine


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 1:25 pm
amother Maize wrote:
I just made a really nice shabbos bar mitzvah. The cost was over $60,000 just for shabbos. If you want middle of the road expect to pay at least $20,000 if
Not more. A really nice mens kiddish not fancy just good and a lot of food is $3,5000 just for the caterers fee. And that’s before tables or chair rentals or tablecloths or props.


Can you tell us roughly where you are located?

What did you get for $60k?
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amother
Maize


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 1:30 pm
amother Jasmine wrote:
Can you tell us roughly where you are located?

What did you get for $60k?


Caterers bill was $20,000.
Party planner charged $5,000
Tablecloths and chair and table rental was another $7,000
Dishes like charger plates and cutlery and glass cups I forgot but also added up
Food for ladies kiddish was $3,000
Hall was $1,5000 for shabbos
Waiters for shabbos was $2,000
Hostess packages and hostess gifts and bags for kiddish and things like that was another $2,000
Breakfast in the house the party planner spent over $2,000 on. Honestly it was a waste but if you
Don’t have strength to be on top of everything they over spend.

Oneg shabbos candies and nuts. All these things add up.
I’m trying to remember what else she spent on but it was a lot more than I asked her to spend. The party planner spent and additional $12,000 from what I told her she can spend but I had to pay her because she paid all the bills.

That’s why I would recommend researching your party planner and make sure she is honest.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 1:35 pm
Wow. How many people did you have?
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amother
Blueberry


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 1:38 pm
Wow, feeling grateful to not have any boys. What are we doing to ourselves as a community?! I’m nauseous reading these numbers.
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amother
DarkGray


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 1:45 pm
amother Maize wrote:
I just made a really nice shabbos bar mitzvah. The cost was over $60,000 just for shabbos. If you want middle of the road expect to pay at least $20,000 if
Not more. A really nice mens kiddish not fancy just good and a lot of food is $3,5000 just for the caterers fee. And that’s before tables or chair rentals or tablecloths or props.


You can do for less than 20k for sure for middle of the road. Also, You do not need to rent chairs or tables or props for a mens kiddush. That’s the point of doing men only- to keep it simple
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amother
DarkGray


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 1:48 pm
amother Maize wrote:
Caterers bill was $20,000.
Party planner charged $5,000
Tablecloths and chair and table rental was another $7,000
Dishes like charger plates and cutlery and glass cups I forgot but also added up
Food for ladies kiddish was $3,000
Hall was $1,5000 for shabbos
Waiters for shabbos was $2,000
Hostess packages and hostess gifts and bags for kiddish and things like that was another $2,000
Breakfast in the house the party planner spent over $2,000 on. Honestly it was a waste but if you
Don’t have strength to be on top of everything they over spend.

Oneg shabbos candies and nuts. All these things add up.
I’m trying to remember what else she spent on but it was a lot more than I asked her to spend. The party planner spent and additional $12,000 from what I told her she can spend but I had to pay her because she paid all the bills.

That’s why I would recommend researching your party planner and make sure she is honest.


This is high end. You can find a party planner for way less than $5k!! Hostess gifts and packages way less than $2k. Tablecloth u can do at a gmach- there are such high end one these days. Caterer supplies dishes no need to rent. Waiters was 2k???? Breakfast 2k?

OP you can do for way way way less.
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amother
Jasmine


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 1:55 pm
amother Maize wrote:
Caterers bill was $20,000.
Party planner charged $5,000
Tablecloths and chair and table rental was another $7,000
Dishes like charger plates and cutlery and glass cups I forgot but also added up
Food for ladies kiddish was $3,000
Hall was $1,5000 for shabbos
Waiters for shabbos was $2,000
Hostess packages and hostess gifts and bags for kiddish and things like that was another $2,000
Breakfast in the house the party planner spent over $2,000 on. Honestly it was a waste but if you
Don’t have strength to be on top of everything they over spend.

Oneg shabbos candies and nuts. All these things add up.
I’m trying to remember what else she spent on but it was a lot more than I asked her to spend. The party planner spent and additional $12,000 from what I told her she can spend but I had to pay her because she paid all the bills.

That’s why I would recommend researching your party planner and make sure she is honest.


I hope you enjoyed the shobbos! Much nachas from your bar mitzvah bochur!

Can you tell op what your menu was so she can compare?

For reference, my low end bar mitzvah $4.5k catering bill, was fish and dips, soup, chicken, 2 sides, veggie plated nicely.
Day was fish and dips,, liver/eggs, cholent, kugel, chicken and deli platters served family style. Dessert both days.
Shaloshseudos was basically a bris menu.
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amother
DarkGray


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 2:25 pm
amother OP wrote:
Summer, not winter. Either at home or in the shul.

Correct, meals for out of town guests but no ladies kiddush.
(I would obviously do a breakfast spread in my home for the female guests)


The reason why I am asking is because of logistics. If you are only doing a mens kiddush and eating the meals in shul and ladies are coming to shul to hear your son lein, where are they going during the mens kiddush?
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 2:26 pm
amother Blueberry wrote:
Wow, feeling grateful to not have any boys. What are we doing to ourselves as a community?! I’m nauseous reading these numbers.


Why are you nauseous. Spend what you want.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 2:31 pm
amother DarkGray wrote:
The reason why I am asking is because of logistics. If you are only doing a mens kiddush and eating the meals in shul and ladies are coming to shul to hear your son lein, where are they going during the mens kiddush?


We will chill at my house. It’s just family anyway.
I may change my mind on this but for now that’s what I think I want.

Our shul anyway doesn’t do ladies kiddush in the shul
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amother
DarkGray


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 2:43 pm
amother OP wrote:
We will chill at my house. It’s just family anyway.
I may change my mind on this but for now that’s what I think I want.

Our shul anyway doesn’t do ladies kiddush in the shul


Oh so then for sure you’re good
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amother
Skyblue


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 2:45 pm
amother Blueberry wrote:
Wow, feeling grateful to not have any boys. What are we doing to ourselves as a community?! I’m nauseous reading these numbers.

That’s why I plan on going to Israel instead and having a more meaningful bar mitzvah there (laying tefillin at the kotel etc.). It even comes out to be less expensive for us! (We’re a midsize family)

I can’t stand the idea of spending so much on gross catered food and the hassle of coordinating a whole shabbos kiddush (which my husband’s side is very very into and we are not). Even with a party planner and making it super simple, it would be so much $$ and require way too much time and effort. I don’t have the capacity or ability to slave away cooking for a crowd or making the arrangements for waiters.
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amother
DarkGray


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 2:47 pm
amother Cadetblue wrote:
In what way is Estreia different than say, Ridge terrace? I understand I need to hire a caterer for ridge terrace but what does Estreia provide that ridge terrace doesn't?


From what I remember…
You aren’t paying a hall rental fee in Estreia. Waiter/mashgiach was cheaper when the caterer is in house. Dishes and basic tablecloths provided. PLUS he has props so we brought stuff for a small sweet table and the waiters set it up
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 2:47 pm
amother Skyblue wrote:
That’s why I plan on going to Israel instead and having a more meaningful bar mitzvah there (laying tefillin at the kotel etc.). It even comes out to be less expensive for us! (We’re a midsize family)

I can’t stand the idea of spending so much on gross catered food and the hassle of coordinating a whole shabbos kiddush (which my husband’s side is very very into and we are not). Even with a party planner and making it super simple, it would be so much $$ and require way too much time and effort. I don’t have the capacity or ability to slave away cooking for a crowd or making the arrangements for waiters.


I thought about doing this but a) I want to give my parents the nachas of everyone being together for a simcha and b) my son should have the pride of his friends coming for his simcha
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 2:48 pm
amother DarkGray wrote:
From what I remember…
You aren’t paying a hall rental fee in Estreia. Waiter/mashgiach was cheaper when the caterer is in house. Dishes and basic tablecloths provided. PLUS he has props so we brought stuff for a small sweet table and the waiters set it up


Do you recall the cost and if yes how long ago?
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 2:52 pm
amother Blueberry wrote:
Wow, feeling grateful to not have any boys. What are we doing to ourselves as a community?! I’m nauseous reading these numbers.


And I'm happy to be chasidish lol.

No shabbos meals. Small kiddush. Our boys don't lein, only maftir.

Week night event only.
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amother
Phlox


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 3:34 pm
Does anyone know what type of hall ateres malka is considered?
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Tue, Jan 24 2023, 3:37 pm
amother Pewter wrote:
And I'm happy to be chasidish lol.

No shabbos meals. Small kiddush. Our boys don't lein, only maftir.

Week night event only.

Don't chassidim make huge vacht nachts?
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