“Poetry” | Imamother

amother

DarkGray

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 3:02 am

amother Lawngreen wrote:

So many published kids’ books are just mediocre. Sad

I’ve thought about writing my own book but it’s actually a lot of work to get it to sound right.

I've written kids' books. All in prose. Editors outside the frum world are very selective about taking rhyming works. The language
has to sound natural and the meter has to be perfect.

amother

Ghostwhite

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 11:05 am

amother Moonstone wrote:

I teach poetry and the poetry in Jewish magazines and on this website is rarely what I’d describe as good writing.

As someone who has shared on this website in the past, I’d like to point out that this forum is not a literature competition and no-one who is sharing is asking for your opinion on the quality of their writing. We share to support each-other, that’s what this forum is- nothing else.
If you don’t believe it’s “good writing” please keep your comments to yourself and move on. You are missing the point.

Signed,
Someone who has shared my “prose” on this forum whilst going through extremely difficult things in my life and the support I received meant more to me than even winning the Pulitzer could.

amother

Ivory

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 11:50 am

mandr wrote:

Also, don't write a haiku with 18 syllables (yes, you, Binah).

And limericks need to be written in iambic pentameter so son't bother if your meter is flaky.

More offensive than the poetry in magazines is the poetry in kids' books! I don't want to quote actual lines but "energy" and "see" don't rhyme.

In British English energy would rhyme with see. But I have the issue that most jewish books are american english. So I'm wondering why those words don't rhyme, but if you add an american accent, then they do.
And I agree about the poetry in kids books. I hate when they rearrange sentences and use odd words to make it rhyme.

mandr

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 11:56 am

amother Ivory wrote:

Really? I always thought the stress is on the first syllable of “energy” so it can’t rhyme with “see”. A matching rhyme must rhyme from the last stresses syllable and on. So “classic” would rhyme with “Jurassic” because the stress in this word begins with “rassic”.

mandr

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 12:02 pm

amother Olive wrote:

One cold winter day, Yossi his eyes did open up
Then said Modeh Ani and washed with his cup

There is something special about this Friday
Thought Yossi, but he couldn't remember what right away.

"Hey sleepyheads!" called Father who came in the room
"It's time to get up! Please do that soon!

"We've missed your mother, for three days she's been not here
But today I'll pick her up with the baby, never fear!"

(apologies to Dina Rosenfeld for mangling some of the best rhymes known to Jewish children's literature!)

Love this! However there are two weird meter issues in the book. One I forgot. The other was something like

With cold noses pressed to the glass they sat there
As the snow ….. filled the air.

It always disrupted my reading when I read it to my kids.

amother

Olive

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 12:37 pm

mandr wrote:

Why?

COLD noses PRESSED to the GLASS they sat THERE
WATCHing the SNOWflakes whiz BY through the AIR

Seems to be a perfect meter, no? 1-2

amother

Lavender

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 12:41 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

There once was amother who was feeling
Her life's circumstance had her reeling
As she wrote bit by bit
Hitting the 'enter' key in a fit
She realized it helped with her healing.

Lol. A limerick!

This thread is glorious

shaqued_almond

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 3:31 pm

mandr wrote:

See and the "Gy" in energy rhyme because it's pronounced an-ur-gee. How else do you pronounce it?