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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Was this wrong of the teacher?



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:21 am
DD is 9 years old, in 4th grade. She’s on medication for ADD. I usually tel the teachers at the start of the school year, after they’ve gotten to know her a bit and what an awesome kid she is.
A few weeks ago we had to switch brands of the medication. My daughter suddenly started giving me a hard time about taking it. It’s weird but it totally messed with my daughter’s behavior. She was not like she normally was on the original brand. We ended up switching her back to the original brand however, during that time the teacher called me and asked me if anything was up with my daughter. I told her about the brand switch and also that my daughter was giving me trouble taking it in the mornings and once even lied about taking it. We discussed what to do with DD and we decided that I would just say Mrs. x called and wondered about her cuz she wasn’t paying attention etc.
When trying to get to the bottom of it, me and DH realized that it was just the brand switch that was causing all the issues and once we switched back to the regular brand all was fine again.
This week my daughter came home really upset. She’s like “ma, Mrs. X knows I take medicine? She asked me if I remembered to take it today!”
I’m not sure what is rubbing me so wrong about this. I feel like she should not have taken any issues up with my daughter and not brought up the medication at all with her. I’m just not sure what to do now. Do I let it go? Say something to the teacher?
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amother
Diamond


 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:23 am
That wasn’t ok I would call and say all questions need to be addressed to you and she shouldn’t discuss it with your daughter.
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amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:24 am
Yes that was stepping over a line, definitely. I'm not sure what you should say to the teacher, but if I were your daughter, I would be very upset.
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amother
Brass


 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 1:31 am
I have a child that's very sensitive about taking and would be upset to know that the teacher knew. I do think it's important that the teacher knows and I always tell the teacher but I always tell the teacher to please not discuss medication with this child. Sometimes I feel silly that I have to say it but after your post I now see that it wasn't silly to say something to the teacher. I'm sure the teacher did mean well but you should definitely tell the teacher not to talk to child ever again about medication.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 1:52 am
The teacher should never mention it to the child whether in front of others or in private. If she has any questions she should call you.
The problem with certain teachers knowing is that they start to blame things on the the child/diagnosis/meds. That’s a problem.
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amother
Milk


 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 1:53 am
I could go back and forth over this. Most parents would tell me upfront if their kid is sensitive to me talking about it and then I wouldn’t . Most of my students (special ed teacher) there is a significant difference in behavior without medication to the degree that if they didn’t take it their parent has to come bring it/ they can’t manage in school so I don’t think it’s a inappropriate question if done discreetly.
Also as a parent, my daughter’s teachers know she takes it and will occasionally ask.
I don’t see any reason to enforce a stigma around it and would just try to encourage dd that it’s something teachers need to know and teacher was just asking to make sure she is in her best learning mode, etc.
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amother
DarkYellow


 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 5:47 am
As a teacher I always phrase it (generally in private) as "are you ok today? You seem to be having trouble Focusing". The kids who are on meds often then tell me they forgot their meds that morning even though I could say the same thing to an unmedicated kid. (often it ends up being something like a family simcha and the kid is excited I noticed and wants to tell me about)
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amother
Stone


 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 5:50 pm
It sounds like it was a misunderstanding on the teachers part. Still not ok but agree that it’s worth a (calm/polite) discussion and explaining that this isn’t what you agreed to or feel is appropriate.
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amother
Dill


 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 7:49 pm
Teachers are not allowed to bring it up at all without the parents permission. If anyone in the school knows, they are supposed to keep the information confidential and not share it with the teachers or anybody else without permission. I would call up and nicely let them know it wasn’t ok to do that.
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behappy2




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 29 2023, 8:37 pm
Not at all ok! Not at all ok for anyone to mention behavior in relation to the meds. Not teachers and not parents. It makes a child feel very very bad.
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