With dh in a hotel with the bathroom right there

watergirl

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 8:57 am

amother Mulberry wrote:

What
Im married for two years and we never had this issue
Who cares if he hears you using the bathroom? or vice versa. I mean, youre married

I feel bad

Wonder how u managed all these years

Who cares? OP cares. Everyone has their thing that bothers them or that makes them anxious, this is hers.

OP, I don't relate to this but I have other issues that other people would scoff at. We all do... don't feel alone if no one here feels this way. Feel like part of the club because everyone has a thing that makes them uncomfortable. This is yours.

amother

Mulberry

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:26 am

watergirl wrote:

Maybe she should find solutions to the problem instead of techniques on how to avoid the problem?
It will make her life way easier

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:36 am

amother OP wrote:

Married over 15 years.

Ok, so then scratch what I wrote.
If youve been married for 15 years and this is something that still makes you and your husband uncomfortable, I truly think this is something you snd your husband can work on, together, to get past/over the uncomfortableness of this issue or to figure out why it makes you both uncomfortable.

amother

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:36 am

amother Mulberry wrote:

Maybe she should find solutions to the problem instead of techniques on how to avoid the problem?
It will make her life way easier

I'm not really looking for a solution. I don't think there's a real (good) solution. Either people mind if their spouse hears them or they don't. Of course turning on the water, shower or flushing helps.

What it comes down to is that I think if either of us had just been casual about it years ago it wouldn't be a hang up today. It's difficult to break the ice on this almost 20 years later.

From the responses, it seems that most don't have an issue with this, but some do.

amother

Jean

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:47 am

Op I’m married almost 20 years and I’m just like you I hate hate hate hearing these things….nothing to do with dh it’s my own issue. I also diagnosed myself with misophenia I wonder if it’s connected?

amother

Pink

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:50 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m mixed on this. Regular bathroom I’m fine with but I don’t want to hear or be heard when it sounds super gross.

amother

Dandelion

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:56 am

amother OP wrote:

This is the one area I’m very careful about around my husband actually. We’re very comfortable around each other otherwise. I try hard to avoid him hearing me “struggling” in the bathroom lol

I will time that kind of bathroom activity wisely. Before showering or some other solution.

amother

Charcoal

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 11:06 am

Gosh, I thought OP meant that there is no door to the bathroom or only half a wall or no wall and you could see, hear and smell everything from the main room. Despite being well past our silver anniversary, I would be repelled by such a setup. I was once in such a hotel room, fortunately by myself. I think they designed it so you could watch TV while soaking in the tub but boy was it weird. And in poor taste. I mean, it essentially makes the whole room one giant bathroom, and who wants to sleep, or worse yet, eat in a bathroom?

Have you tried singing? real loud?

amother

Babypink

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 11:09 am

amother OP wrote:

Does anyone else find this uncomfortable? When I go with Dh to a hotel I think we both feel weird about using the bathroom because it's basically 15 feet from the bed. The room is quiet and it's just....awkward. I try to use the bathroom in the lobby but there's often people there as well.

Am I the only one who stresses about this? I just find it very weird if dh hears me doing my business in the bathroom. We want to go over a shabbos but I feel like I'm setting myself up for an uncomfortable situation.

Turn the faucet on.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 11:10 am

amother Blush wrote:

I’m married 20 years and so uncomfortable when somebody’s in the room when I use the bathroom.
If DH is not sleeping, I ask him to go out of the room when I use the bathroom.

And yes, I hate hotel bathrooms as well.

I heard once from an alternative medicine provider that people who are like this are insecure and afraid of rejection in general

amother

DarkKhaki

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 11:24 am

I used to have hangups about using the bathroom if anyone else was around. I couldn't go when I was in high school, I used to time going to the bathroom when I was in sem when people weren't around and I would only go to specific toilets that were away from people.
Over the years, and particularly pregnancy and having to go all the time, has made me better about it. But sometimes I still find it hard.
As others have said, having the water running makes it easier to go.

amother

Camellia

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 12:06 pm

My issue about hotel rooms is when there’s more than 2 people in a room and only one bathroom! We have more than one toilet in the house and it makes me crazy having only one in a hotel room!

amother

Freesia

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 12:37 pm

This would be a perfect time to start practicing. Curious how does your dh feel using the bathroom near you? My dh is very 'expressive about his sounds' so ye I fee very comfortable

amother

Pansy

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 12:44 pm

Have him wear ear phones?
This thread is funny Smile

It might even have a fan/vent so that might make enough noise.

amother

Pansy

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 12:49 pm

amother Jean wrote:

My dh also diagnosed himself with misophenia, he has a lot of symptoms so is say he definitely has it.