Who came up with this absurdity?!?!?!

amother

Red

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

Of course it stinks to be the one in a million outlier or be the family of one. But a system cannot function for the outliers. It has to work for as many people as it can. And yes, there should be some contingencies for out of the ordinary situations, but even then, some are going to fall through the cracks sometimes. There's no way to prevent that, though it should be minimized as much as possible.

It doesn't sound like you're interested in trying. What do you want those people to do? Stop existing?

amother

Red

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:42 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Abortions are not "health care" unless it is to save the life of the mother, which is rarely the case.

Abortions also carry risks.

A teen is not mature enough to make this decision alone.

You underestimate the health risks to a very young mother, the difference in outcomes between abortion and birth, and the number of parents who kick out, abuse or even murder their daughters who get pregnant.

#BestBubby

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 5:19 pm

amother Red wrote:

Before 10 years ago, the teen told a trusted adult that it was a danger to tell parents,,

who helped teen get a judges permission to bypass parents.

They didn't strip ALL parents of parental rights which endangers MORE children than the old system.

skyeblue

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:22 pm

NotInNJMommy wrote:

Outliers aren’t dubious when they are cvs you or someone you love. Just saying.

You can say the same thing about the outliers who will be hurt by this government policy.

Why the concern for all the supposed outlier abused children and no concern for the outlier (or not so outlier) disaffected parents as well as children who will get hurt because of these insane policies?

Seems like you pick and choose which outliers to pity.

Notsobusy

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:46 pm

NotInNJMommy wrote:

I don't know wha tyou're talking about.

I am not aware that anyone is suffering. If you and your child have a barrier to sharing medical information when it makes sense, that is not this policy's fault. If you don't have barriers, then the policy doesn't make a difference.

I have a good relationship with my children and their doctors, and I know all I need or want to know to ensure I can best parent my children.

I have a friend who has a child with a life threatening medical condition. They chose the best specialist who can hopefully help keep this child alive, they didn't have the liberty to choose based on how easy the office staff is to deal with. Bh this child is usually able to go to school and is usually not home when the doctors office is open to get results, make appointments, fill prescriptions, or ask important questions. But they won't speak to my friend, only to her young teen. How does this make any sense to anyone? I can't even imagine how you can defend this.

skyeblue

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:50 pm

amother Red wrote:

A minority is still a whole lot of people.

And they can be accommodated using other means.

A minority of bad parents is not a reason to encroach on ALL parents' parental rights AND potentially put their children in danger from inappropriate treatment.

Surely there are other ways to help children with abusive parents without harming other children.

skyeblue

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 7:17 pm

NotInNJMommy wrote:

I never said that’s ideal. And I would trust a high school age teen to know if this is something she can speak to her mom about and when.

But when someone has to choose their hard, and they want an abortion because they cannot carry a baby or raise one etc, and if they are old enough to legally choose a legally regulated medical procedure, then I don’t want them forced to carry a baby to term or risking being disowned, shamed, or sent off to whatever is the “convent” lahavdil of our communities in this time.

Life is a lot of choosing our hard and messed up situations of would you rather. Abortions are healthcare and hopefully people can share these things with their parents but based on a lot of things even on this website, it doesn’t seem crazy to see that some mothers here would not be possible or easy to share this with.

You DID say you're "not aware that anyone is suffering."

Well, that was exhibit 1. So now you're aware.

And if you wanted to become MORE aware, I'm sure there are - and will be - others that will speak up. There HAVE TO be, because this policy is evil. It leaves children without their parents' protection.

NotInNJMommy

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 8:14 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

They (the teen) just need to authorize their parent to get this information etc.

My husband does this with his elderly mother. It’s just not an issue.

When I was in the hospital years ago for weeks for a pregnancy issue, I was able to authorize them to share my information with my mother in law (long story but that’s who I wanted involved rather than my mother).

It was not a big deal.

If it’s that important, have a talk with your child and then get everyone together with the doctor’s office to make it happen and approve the release.

Again, this is not new. It’s been going on for a decade in NYS. If it’s only bothering people now when they don’t want to take the extra steps to resolve the issue, there’s no mass sacrifice of parental involvement and level of care. Whether we like it or not, the data is not supporting a high incidence nor a significant impact. And I’m willing to take the couple extra steps just like my mother in law does with my husband to make sure the family part of the care team can do what they need to do. It never took hours or money or a degree in rocket science. If someone isn’t willing to do that, then it just sounds like complaining and catastrophizing.

Laiya

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:30 pm

amother Watermelon wrote:

The problem is the ambiguity and grey of the 12-18 year old age.

Should I have a right to consent to epi-pen treatment for my 13 year old even if they want to risk riding it out?
Should I have the right to consent to insulin injections for my 13 year old even if they don't want?
Should I have the right to consent to tube-feeding an anorexic 13 year old who doesn't want?
What about forced stomach pumping a suicidal 13 year old who doesn't want?
What about a parent pushing HPV or COVID vaccine for a 13 year old even though the child doesn't want?
Can I force my teens to have abortion?
Why are any different than each other?

For the first 4, if a parent doesn't consent, and the situation turns into an emergency, the medical providers would be required to give the treatment.

In fact I wonder if there would be grounds for doctors to make a referral to CPS for the parent refusing to provide basic care in a life threatening situation.

amother

Red

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:33 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

I regret to inform you that sometimes the teen just died.

amother

Mocha

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 1:47 am

Super messed up!!!
We were informed of this insane law by embarrassed very caring fine hospital staff treating our 12 year old who risked their jobs to give us copies of crucial records and advised us to take our child out of the hospital to avoid losing control over child’s care.
Beyond insane and dangerous R”L.
Certainly not in the best interest of vast majority of children families and parents.
Truly grateful to those brave souls. Like what is this communist Russia? A rude awakening that had a happy ending B”H

GLUE

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 1:58 am

Notsobusy wrote:

Not sure if this will work\be helpful.
A few years ago I needed to get something from the DR. for my DH. I called the DR. and they would not give it to me because I was not on the chart.
I called back a few minutes later and said I am and gave my DH name. They were are you sure? I said yes I am ask me any question about me and I will answer it. They gave me what I needed.

Can the mom just call up and say I am so and so and give her kids name to make an appointment? As the mother she knows her kid address, birthday and other things that they use to confirm who the person is.

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 2:15 am

GLUE wrote:

I do that sometimes. We live in US but my dh is not American and doesn't speak English well, so when we have to call somewhere and account is on his name, he tells me to just say that I am him. At first I just couldn't do it, but then realized that in todays mixed up world you could have the most feminine voice and be a male, with a real male name Rolling Eyes

amother

Daphne

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 3:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

My oldest child will he 12 at the end of this month. At this time, his health records will become part of his own account (no longer linked to mine) and he will have to consent for me to view them. It's not the biggest deal to get around, I'll have his username and password so I'll be able to get in, but I'm angry at the principle of the matter. In what universe does it make sense to let a 12 year old have control over their health records? A neurotypical 12 year can't handle that, let alone my adhd kid who needs to request monthly medication refills via mychart for his adhd medications because he has adhd and will have enough trouble remembering to do it as an adult, let alone at 12. Why is this rule a thing? What is wrong with our lawmakers???? This is absurd!

It is still 18 in NY.