Bitachon when finances are hard

amother

Brickred

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 10:19 am

amother Amethyst wrote:

To me this is impossible for almost all of us. The idea that we can understand (that's the word you used) that c'vs young people getting cancer is somehow good seems ridiculous.

It's also strange to me that on one hand we say we trust hashem that he knows what's best for us while at the same time we beg and plead for him to change our situation. If we really believed that being poor and getting evicted was good and part of hashem's master plan, there would be no need for us to ask him to change the plan.

No one says the thing itself is good
But the circumstances are the ones tailor made to grow you as a person.
They also are for a certain time period....no one says you have to be poor or sick forever. We also don't know the plan until it unfolds. Or how it fits into other plans

We beg and plead because part of the growth is through tefila ( see yitzchok and rivka, the jews in mitzrayim)

We do not understand.

We trust that Hashem knows what's best. With that knowledge and security we can lean in and meet the challenge and grow.

Like the personal trainer making you do planks and squats and run faster further even though it huts soooooo much and you Can. Not. Breathe.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 10:52 am

amother Brickred wrote:

I hear you, but the logical part of me feels this doesn't really make that much sense. So hashem caused women in my community who are now in their 40's to never get married or have children and to be lonely their whole lives because it's tailor made for them and part of their growth? Are children growing up yesomim also part of their growth? None of this makes sense to me. I feel like we are all just closing our eyes and blindly accepting this as if it's a reasonable explanation when in reality it isn't.

And very often the plan unfolds in a bad way. People get divorced, die, live in poverty their entire lives, suffer from infertility forever, permanently lonely and other problems. There's just no explanation. We have to blindly say we have no understanding why hashem decided that as part of our growth some of us need to suffer.

amother

Freesia

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 11:33 am

amother Amethyst wrote:

It isn't supposed to make sense logically. We are logical beings Hashem is not. So we just have to trust and lean on Him

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 12:21 pm

amother Freesia wrote:

It isn't supposed to make sense logically. We are logical beings Hashem is not. So we just have to trust and lean on Him

How does that work on a practical level? We lean on family, friends and community for support. It's tangible and it makes sense. My husband supports me in ways I understand. If we don't understand it then how does it have value? Meaning let's say someone is 50 and hasn't found a shidduch after 30 years of trying. What is that person leaning on hashem for?

What does it mean to lean on hashem other than we don't understand why hashem imposed this tzara on this person? When I lean on someone I won't comfort, solutions or ideas. With hashem the only answer is that there is no answer. We don't know or understand why anything happens. That's not much of a comfort.

amother

Bottlebrush

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 12:28 pm

amother Amethyst wrote:

Yes and no. We follow Him but we aren’t blind at all.

If you need a personal anecdote, I’m one of those yesomim you had asked about. It was 100% part of my growth. It took me a long time to see it but He gave me every single tool I needed to live well. This included poverty and an abusive surviving parent and many other things that were created just because He cared. I’m me because of it. Not always do we see the end, I’ve been very blessed in my life to be able to see the end.

I think it was as Rebbi Akiva was being murdered, the angels said to Him “this is Torah and this it’s reward.” Hashem said quiet or I will return the world to emptiness. Today, his life is our legend and, without him, our people would have been lost. He gave us a way to grow forward and move on in the darkest of times. Realize that our pain is not unique, it’s been felt for ages and generations. When there’s an end, we’ll understand why too. Sometimes, why’s don’t actually mean anything because we wouldn’t accept an answer just like the angels who knew His reasons didn’t accept Rebbi Akivas death. Sometimes, it’s helpful when the pain is big to replay the malachim and Hashem’s words.

amother

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 12:49 pm

amother Amethyst wrote:

Have there been times when you wanted to lean on someone and didn't find anyone to lean on?

Have there been times when you looked for comfort and found no comfort?