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Candles at a bar mitzva?



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 3:11 pm
I heard someone say that it's a thing to have candles at a bar mitzva.
Is there a source for this?
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 3:42 pm
It looks nice?
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amother
Whitesmoke


 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 3:46 pm
I'm not of fan of fire hazzards
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amother
Oatmeal


 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 3:53 pm
ive seen reformed people do this
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 4:05 pm
Maybe she meant as centerpieces? I love candles in any event on the tables.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 4:24 pm
I've only heard of this at reform bar/bas mitzvahs.
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icedcoffee




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 4:29 pm
Growing up Conservative, we all had candle-lighting ceremonies where we honored the people who got us to where we are today (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles etc). Is that what you're talking about? It's just a nice custom.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 8:04 pm
As decor on the tables, it's just a decorating shtick, which like a PP I deplore because of the fire hazard. As a candle lighting ceremony, this works only if the mesibah is on a night of Chanuka and the candles are being lit for the sake of the mitzvah of ner shel Chanuka. Otherwise, it's a phony Judaized riff on lighting birthday candles. Some use six candles, supposedly to commemorate the Six Million, and they often make a whole ceremony of it by inviting various honorees like grandparents to each light one.
But that's also a phony photo-op shtick, though possibly inspired by the broken glass at a chuppah. A Bar Mitzvah is not any of the various days designated by authorities religious or secular to commemorate our martyrs.
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amother
Wandflower


 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 8:19 pm
Fairly certain I heard of this as a minhag. I think it's a seudas mitzva thing.
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amother
Garnet


 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 9:54 pm
Whenever we have a seudas mitzvah we light candles.
Not a requirement, just done thing I do, my stents, grandparents etc all did.
They also lit one candle at melave Malka.
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HonesttoGod




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 9:56 pm
It is a common thing to do at a seudas mitzvah (which a bar mitzvah seudah is specifically on bo bayom).
Nothing to do with decor or reform/conservative people doing it.

People often choose to use that as an opportunity to make candles as the centerpiece which is nice but can also be messy.
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amother
Lemonchiffon


 

Post Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:12 pm
Every seudos Mitzvah gets candles by us
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amother
Brickred


 

Post Fri, Mar 03 2023, 12:32 am
amother Garnet wrote:

Not a requirement, just done thing I do, my stents...did


Are you a cardiologist? LOL
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s1




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 03 2023, 2:37 am
amother Lemonchiffon wrote:
Every seudos Mitzvah gets candles by us


Same here
Bris, bar mitzvah, Purim seuda, Sheva Brochos …
If you are worried about fire safety, you can do floating candles or get small ‘cages’ for tea lights
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