If your on maternity leave, r a sahm, or work very part time

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

Previous 1 2 3

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Do u expect or want your husband to get up in middle of the night

Yes

40%

[ 61 ]

59%

[ 91 ]

Total Votes : 152

#ibelieve

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:14 am

normally no so I voted no but if I'm very tired or not feeling well or baby screaming a lot then yes.

Phoebe31

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:21 am

amother Burgundy wrote:

We have one baby and there first four months were pure hell in the nursing department. He nursed every 2 hours for 40 minutes.

So 12-12:40, 12:40-1am burping and change and get him settled
1-2am sleep.

2-2:40am nurse. 2:40-3am burping change and settling
3-4am.

Yet I have a hard time falling back asleep so I usually only slept 30-40 minutes in each stretch. I nursed sitting up in bed because no one had explained to me that nursing paying down is a thing. On day 3 I fell asleep nursing sitting up in bed because I basically had so much anxiety I hadn't slept more than a few hours in 3 days and he fell on the floor.

During the day baby didn't nap for more than 20 minutes at a time so napping for me was out.

Next time I'm cosleeping with baby in my bed from day 1 (can you even do that from birth? Or is baby too small)

You bet I had hubby do some night feedings. Even with his help I felt like I was falling apart and felt like I was developing PPD/PPA but there is no support where I live so I trudged on alone.

I coslept with my baby because she absolutely would not sleep unless I was holding her. She was nursing and I found that it actually helped me fall back asleep faster when she was nursing. Look up the safe sleep seven, it's a safe way to cosleep. We did it until she was 9 months old and would move around so much that I hardly got sleep anymore but it was amazing for those first few months.

(waiting for the tomatoes)

amother

Mocha

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:29 am

Ema of 5 wrote:

Can someone please explain why, if you are nursing, your husband should get up? Or if you are postpartum? Yes, if my baby is up for a few hours in the middle of the night and is crying and won’t go back to sleep, I will wake my husband, but if I am nursing, what’s the point of him waking up? For the first 6 months the baby is in my room anyway, so it’s not like I need him to get and bring the baby to me. If I had a toddler and a baby, I might ask my husband to take care of the toddler, but honestly they really want me anyway, and also my kids are not so close in age. For those who say their husband gets up when they are postpartum, when do they get up? With the baby? With another child? Would you ask your husband to get up with a baby if you are nursing?

Postpartum, she can be in pain and it's tough to walk around rocking the baby and changing, if dh helps, she can just nurse in bed. My first baby also had a really hard time falling back asleep, and dh was really good at rocking the baby.

amother

Brown

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 11:58 am

I'm the owner of the business, no maternity leave for me.
He does help with the 5 am feeding .
Currently 6 weeks pp.

amother

Ruby

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 3:35 pm

Yes absolutely. We both work full time, both need to get up in the morning and be alert all day.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 3:40 pm

Yes! My children are his responsibility just as my husband as they are mine!I get them during the day he gets them at night.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 4:50 pm

Phoebe31 wrote:

I coslept with baby #1 unsafely, because I was so desperate to get her to sleep. Now, with baby #2, I've been confidently cosleeping (both bedsharing and with baby on a separate surface next to my bed) since day 1.
I only wake DH if I need the bathroom and baby is inconsolable. Otherwise, I handle the nighttime.

amother

Smokey

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 5:46 pm

What does the question have to do with your working status? I don't understand.

DH will help if I am desperate enough to wake him up but I don't do that.
I would rather have a functioning husband to help me by day than both of us being exauhsted.

amother

Aqua

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 5:49 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

Because when I'm working I need to function during the day so I wake him to help me. When I'm on maternity leave I can nap during the day so I let him sleep at night.

Eishes Chaim

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 5:50 pm

amother Rose wrote:

No, not unless there is some extenuating circumstance. He will get up early with the older kids though.

Since I’m home, and my schedule is more flexible, there’s no need for him to lose much valued sleep

amother

Smokey

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 6:19 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

Because when I'm working I need to function during the day so I wake him to help me. When I'm on maternity leave I can nap during the day so I let him sleep at night.

I hear. I do work full time btw.

metacognizant

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 9:58 am

I do all the baby nighttime childcare and wouldn't expect him to... BUT we also have a toddler who wakes at night and is much more difficult, sometimes he tantrums for hours. I take care of the toddler at night until my patience wears out or he wakes the baby. Then I expect my husband to take him.

honey36

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 11:34 am

I work very part time so try my best to do all night duty.

Exception is when I'm trying to wean from nursing. Then DH takes over, but it usually only lasts 2-3 nights.

amother

Dimgray

Sat, Mar 04 2023, 8:20 pm

Ema of 5 wrote:

I don't nurse. DH does all the night feedings, even when I am on maternity leave. I have severe insomnia issues and I take medicine to fall.asleep at night. if I wake up in middle of the night to feed baby, there is no guarantee that I am going to fall back asleep. Also, because of my difficulty falling asleep, there Is no guarantee that I will fall asleep during the day to take nap and make up for missed sleep at night.

After baby #1, I did the night feedings and it was a disaster. I was basically not sleeping at all because I couldn't fall back asleep at night and couldn't fall asleep during the day for naps. I was completely falling apart and nearly went crazy from the lack of sleep.

After babies #2 and #3 DH forbade me from waking up at night. BH he has no trouble falling asleep and also manages well on 4-5 hours a night.

amother

Strawberry

Sat, Mar 04 2023, 11:05 pm

I work 30 hours/weeks, my husband works around 35. When I had my baby and was on maternity leave for six weeks, my husband and I switched off with waking up. I was overwhelmed, exhausted, couldn’t sleep during the day because my baby couldn’t be put down, and he really saved me. I am so grateful.

ChalieB

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 7:45 am

My baby is 5 weeks old, my husband wakes up when she needs a diaper change. I do all the feedings (every two hours, nursing) and put her back to sleep.

Page 3 of 3

Previous 1 2 3