No child care tonight & womens reading @ 9:30pm - sexist?

amother

Linen

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:07 pm

amother Melon wrote:

she called it a "womens reading"

Thats just generally what later leinings are called because generally the women go to that one, but that doesn't mean only women. I know men who work late that go to the later leinings as well.

amother

Linen

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:09 pm

amother Opal wrote:

I give them a lollipop, bring along books & their pacifier. Bh it works.

Wow good for you. My kids would never make it through leining. I would end up having to rehear megillah regardless.

amother

Cyclamen

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:10 pm

amother Melon wrote:

Bring them?

what I found 's@xist' is that the 9:30 reading is Women Only. Let the couple decide who goes to the "main event" and who goes to the 'second reading'.

At my (Lakewood- heimish) Megillah last year, there were 2 men there who had missed the original leining so were at the “women’s” reading. One of the lady’s suggested we all go up to the (small and hard to hear from) women’s section so the 2 men could have the main section. We all ignored her. They sat in front and survived.

amother

Birch

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:10 pm

amother Melon wrote:

Bring them?

what I found 's@xist' is that the 9:30 reading is Women Only. Let the couple decide who goes to the "main event" and who goes to the 'second reading'.

Most men don’t eat before Megillah so that’s the reason the men go to the first reading

amother

Mocha

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:12 pm

amother Linen wrote:

Thats just generally what later leinings are called because generally the women go to that one, but that doesn't mean only women. I know men who work late that go to the later leinings as well.

Our shul just calls them #1 and #2 and both are open to all. Again, it sends a message. Some men might not mind showing up at an event labeled as a "women's" event. Many would be uncomfortable doing so.

amother

Melon

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:14 pm

amother Opal wrote:

Because the later readings are usually mostly women, because that's how it works out. But it doesn't mean that it's only for women.

Perfect. She seems to tired to go out at 9:30 - then her DH can go at 9:30.

amother

Mint

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think you missed the point. lots of shuls have child care at the main reading after maariv so the whole family -- men, women, kids old enough to hear megilah -- can go together and all hear megilah, eat the breakfast, and socialize.

Maybe you grew up with that & consider it the norm, but I haven't heard of a shul like that, & I live in nyc. It's not common.

amother

Honey

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:18 pm

flowerpower wrote:

I never heard of child care provided at the shul for megilla. Our shul has kids attend the megilla reading. Everyone survives

I (and many others) don't feel that young children and babies belong at Mesilla.
The mitzvah is to hear every word, and if there is a baby or toddler crying, it is the parents responsibility for all the others who did not do this mitzvah properly.

Do I twist myself in a pretzel to go after my children are sleeping? Yes.
Or I go to a in home reading.

(No shuls in my neighborhood provide childcare for megilla. My husband is usually working on purim so I usually can't even rely on him for the morning reading)

amother

Opal

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:19 pm

tichellady wrote:

it's problematic if the first reading is not open to women

She didn't say that it's not open to women. She said that the shul doesn't provide childcare so she can't go to the main reading.

amother

Opal

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:20 pm

amother Mocha wrote:

OP labeled it as the women's reading.

amother

Opal

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:21 pm

amother Honey wrote:

Of course if a kid makes noise, people leave with the child. If you miss a word, you can say that word to yourself.

amother

Puce

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’ve never been to a shul that has childcare during Megillah reading.

amother

Mocha

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:34 pm

amother Opal wrote:

OP labeled it as the women's reading.

Right, I was just responding to Linen's point that this label isn't to be taken literally and that men can attend women's readings.

amother

Linen

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:37 pm

amother Opal wrote:

Of course if a kid makes noise, people leave with the child. If you miss a word, you can say that word to yourself.

So then why bring the child? You need to rehear megillah if you go out with a child

amother

NeonOrange

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have never heard of childcare in/organized by a shul other than for Rosh Hashona & Yom Kippur. (Not talking about youth groups), And even that is not the norm in charedi places. I have been to some later "womens" megilla readings with some men there - presumably their wives went to the earlier one.

amother

Cyclamen

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:40 pm

Am I the only one who wouldn’t even find it extremely problematic if the first leining was no women? Not all shuls have space for every man coming to the same minyan without overflowing to the ezras nashim, let alone potentially doubling that amount of people.

Are we going to say now that you can only hold a minyan if you have space for absolutely everyone all the time? Or they’re allowed to break it up into men/women and if that doesn’t work for you, go to a larger shul

amother

Birch

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:40 pm

amother Stoneblue wrote:

Sweetheart break your fast and find a different shul

That’s not her issue 9:30 is to late which it really isn’t cause she wakes up to an infant at night.

amother

Honey

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:49 pm

amother Cyclamen wrote:

Many gedolim disagree with you.

Just an example -
When they built the beautiful shul, The Belzer Rebbe didn't allow the Shul to be used even though they were eagerly awaiting using their beautiful brand new shul, until the Ezras Nashim was ready.
The presence of the nashim tzidkaniyos elevates the prayers and bring them up straight to the kisei hakavod.