Anyone else bothered by the “theme” trend?

flowerpower

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 10:25 pm

It’s Purim for heaven sake. Leave the fighting for after tisha bav or whatever.

Do themes. Don’t do themes. Just do you proudly and confidently and don’t put down what others do.

Happy Purim!!!!!!’

amother

Cinnamon

Tue, Mar 07 2023, 12:08 am

amother Grape wrote:

Exactly like I said, it becomes competition and insecure people feel they have to compete and impress.
People with a good sense of self don’t get pulled in.

If I cared about what people thought I would never do themes (I would also dress my kids matching, serve only real dishes on shabbos, and so on). Our themes would definitely win the Nerdiest M"m Ever award LOL

amother

Amber

Tue, Mar 07 2023, 5:41 am

I would say majority of people do a theme where I live.
Guess what? I don't.
I ask each kid what they want to be before Purim and that's what they dress up as.
My oldest wanted to be a policeman and my daughter wanted to be a princess with a pink dress. So that's what they're being.

My mishloach manos has no theme.

I couldn't care less what other people do and my kids enjoy a fun day.

Golde

Tue, Mar 07 2023, 6:15 am

Hope you're having a good Purim, OP!
I also have children of various ages and I work full time, and I also find that Purim can be stressful. So I'm not leading on on any themes for my family. This year two of my older DC wanted to do a theme so I said "fine, you choose" and they couldn't agree on anything and in the end they both managed to convince another sibling each to go with "their" theme, and so we ended up having two different themes (pairs) and bits and bobs. It was all good. No stress. The big kids enjoyed taking charge.
And everyone gives the same mm. It's fine, really.
Please listen to all the great advice you've gotten on this thread and please *do your thing* next year!

amother

Tue, Mar 07 2023, 2:01 pm

I feel terrible reading posts between people who are offended and/or insulted by anything written on a thread I started. This was written when I was in the middle of packaging mm while surrounded by tired kids and an overtired toddler trying to eat snacks not meant for her and feeling quite exhausted. Purim so far has been such a wonderful beautiful day where my kids are happy and getting along, chasdei Hashem. They even waited to open their mm until we got home like I asked them to 🤗. I am not Hashem, but I can speculate that Hashem wants all his children to love and appreciate each other despite our different beliefs, opinions, talents, and Purim theme/no theme views.

For those of you who made a really simple mm- I loved it, it was more than enough, and I appreciate you!

For those of you who made a gorgeous/elegant/expensive mm- I’m impressed, it was admired, and I appreciate you!

For those of you who did a coordinated theme, matching costumes, mm, lengthy poem- I’m impressed, it was admired, and I appreciate you!

For those of you who did not give me mm- I truly appreciate you, and I’m grateful that you did not add to the mess I am continuously cleaning up! I appreciate you and completely value you as a friend!

For those of you who did not receive from me for whatever reason, and for anyone who felt offended by anything written on this post, I hope you can find it in your heart to be mochel me and know that you are truly valued and appreciated.

I do not think anyone was “trying” to hurt anyone here. I saw how posts aimed at comforting one person who does NOT do a theme, inadvertently caused someone who DOES do a theme to feel insulted and vice versa. This led to more and more confusion, hurt feelings, and unintentional insults. We are all imperfect beings trying our best and it will always be impossible to please everyone. And that’s okay. Maybe that’s what Purim is actually all about. Using our individual gifts/talents/creativity/lack of creativity to do chessed and serve Hashem while working on our simcha, patience, middos, gratitude, and positive judgement of others.

Thank you for all chizuk I received here. It truly enhanced my Purim and my kids enjoyed a much calmer more patient mommy because of you!