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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach
Making pesach while being in school
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 1:26 pm
I went back to school this year for my ba. I have a few kids and a hectic life. I’ve been making pesach since were married but I can’t see how I’ll do it this year! I have so many essays and assignments, Classes to attend, I’m in way over my head. I barely cope with the daily housework, forget about pesach cleaning. Even if I do the basics, I need to cook. We have big eaters and don’t buy any ready products and use minimal ingredients. How am I supposed to do it?
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 1:32 pm
Get the big eaters to pitch in with the cooking.
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amother
SandyBrown


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 1:54 pm
I did it . My goal was to have a chometz free if not super shiny house and ingredients. I legit put up chicken soup at the start of the Seder and had it ready in time for the meal. Roast went up in the morning. And we managed
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amother
NeonPurple


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 2:20 pm
Meats are super easy to make. Roast large sheets pans of chicken and roasted veggies. Don't bother with kugels. Double cake recipes and skip cookies.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 4:15 pm
I know all the tips and tricks of making yt. Been making pesach for years and have all my recipes down to a science. The problem is have a few large papers due the next few weeks and if I want a decent grade I need to give it my all. I like to have all my food prepared before yt and not cook on yt so that I can enjoy being with my kids. I usually don’t even cook chol hamoed. I don’t even know what I want here. I’m extremely overwhelmed just thinking of what I need to do.
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momomany




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 5:10 pm
I did it. It's hard. It's also hard to work full time and make pesach. My children help out big time with the cooking. So doesy cleaning lady. I cook simple foods in bulk. I have 2 extra freezers and mostly everything is done in advance. It helps that I kosher my 2 year round ovens and have another pesach kitchen oven so that makes the work.go quickly. All my recipes are saved in the computer, together with menus and amounts needed, so whoever is cooking has instructions. Good luck!!
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amother
Aconite


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 5:13 pm
Can you get an extension on the assignments.
I always had to do that in March/April.
I made up the work in the summer when no classes were available for my field
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 5:29 pm
amother Aconite wrote:
Can you get an extension on the assignments.
I always had to do that in March/April.
I made up the work in the summer when no classes were available for my field

I asked for an extension because of purim and got one day. That same day that professor assigned a big research project plus a class presentation due next week. It’s never ending.
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momomany




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 5:31 pm
amother OP wrote:
I asked for an extension because of purim and got one day. That same day that professor assigned a big research project plus a class presentation due next week. It’s never ending.


It's good preparation for the real world of being a working mom.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 8:59 pm
momomany wrote:
It's good preparation for the real world of being a working mom.

I've been a working mom for many years. I went back to school because I wanted to work in a specific field. I don't remember being this overwhelmed before pesach before.
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 9:48 pm
Being in school and making YT is really hard. I totally validate you
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amother
Chambray


 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2023, 10:40 pm
Although its been many years since I've been in school, I can relate. I was single when in school, but due to various complex life circumstances, I needed to make a huge chunk of Pesach for my family. This was in addition to working full time, helping manage the day to day household burden,, and taking a double graduate courseload...fortunately, I was not actively dating at the time.

Here's what I did: I made every effort to do all my papers in advance. Right after Purim, I informed my professors that I had some challenging circumstances coming up, but I was very committed to the program, and rather than ask for an extension, I wanted to do as much as I could in advance. My professors were very accommodating and appreciated my commitment, and gave me all the assignments for the next month ahead of time. I then worked feverishly around the clock doing all my academic work, completely neglecting anything but the bare minimum of household management. I finished my papers 10 days before yom tov, and set myself reminders to submit them when they were due. I then focused on making Pesach. I did do some work on Chol Hamed, and putting Pesach away was challenging, too.

Very hard and overwhelming, but with very good prioritizing and time management, can be doable.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 10 2023, 2:41 am
Here's what I'm reading:

- You're already doing more than most people, and barely getting it to work

- Now, there's extra schoolwork, AND all the extra work of Pesach. And you already know and do the shortcuts.

I see three major options.

Option 1: Get a loan if needed (you'll hopefully be making more after you get your degree, and hire help). Can you find a teen or college kid that's trustworthy to help with childcare and cleaning?

Option 2: Drop a course or two. This also costs, but if you've bitten off more than you can chew, it's a legitimate option. And cheaper than a breakdown.

Option 3: Keep everything as it is. Build your emunah. Plan on all this work causing sleepless nights, but know it won't be forever, and you'll just have to get through it the best you can. Triage daily -- what's the priority task?
Daven like crazy when you can.

Only you can decide what makes the most sense for you. But don't be afraid to make changes, even ones that might feel risky at first -- especially if NOT making changes also involves risk.
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amother
Skyblue


 

Post Fri, Mar 10 2023, 2:52 am
OP, you might have a far easier time if you let go of your usual practice of cooking everything before Yom Tov. Yes Pesach itself will be somewhat more stressful, but it will be a spread out stress instead of the intense concentrated stress of doing everything all at once.

I always cook on Yom Tov so maybe I shouldn't talk, but it's a perfectly valid option especially as a concession in a year as difficult as this one.
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amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Fri, Mar 10 2023, 6:30 am
I wonder if you could hire a teen or post seminary girl to come and cook for you also hiring help with cleaning.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Mar 10 2023, 7:24 am
Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I was considering dropping a course but I'm almost through with this semester so it'll be a waste on all the hard work I've put in so far. I am considering taking on less courses for my summer semester but it wont be such a hectic time so we'll see about that. Regarding hiring more help, we really cant afford that but if it comes down to that vs a breakdown we'll figure out how to swing that. I do have very high standards regarding YT cooking and will need to lower that a lot. I'll also ask my kids to help more and dh as well. He works long hours but he's bh very supportive of my schooling. Last night when he came home, I didn't even have the ingredients to cook for shabbos yet. He went grocery shopping and made a kugel and dips while I worked on an essay. We will make it work iyh. Thankfully it's a 3 day yt so I'll catch up on my sleep then.
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amother
Latte


 

Post Fri, Mar 10 2023, 7:40 am
I'm with you! I work 30 hrs/week plus carry a full college course load which I spend my evenings and weekends on. I have some major exams, an essay and research project all due before pesach.

I keep on telling myself that we did it last year and we'll somehow manage this year too. It's hard but doable if only by greatly lowering standards.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 10 2023, 8:42 am
OP, that sounds really overwhelming!
If you can list the dishes you usually make, we can try to help write out simple delicious instructions/schedule that your kids and husband can follow.
Also, do you utilize online ordering? Orders can be placed a week in advance, with the date of delivery set.
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2023, 5:04 am
Odd thought - do you have any family members you can trade cooking with a bit, as in you'll make a double batch of a side dish and give them half, they'll make a double batch of dessert and give you half? It might cut down on some of the cooking time for both of you.

Other option - even if you can't afford cleaning/cooking help, are there any schools in your neighborhood who loan out kids for chesed hours? Or any junior high/high school kids who wouldn't have to be paid as much, but could maybe mother's helper for you a bit?

One other thing - the hardest part for me when I went back to school as an adult was realizing that I no longer had the spare time to work towards the "a" grades - I had to be satisfied with "b"'s and accept that occasionally it would be lower than that, because - surprise, surprise - there was now real life to deal with = kids, husband, housework, chagim, work, etc. The hours just weren't there! For the field you are going into, do you need the "a" grades, or is a little lower ok, too, if that makes it a less high pressure situation for you?
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2023, 5:39 am
momomany wrote:
It's good preparation for the real world of being a working mom.


This is a very condescending comment . Also, makes a lot of assumptions . Ftr, at one point in my life I was working full time, had a toddler and a colicky baby, and was in a masters program and doing field work.
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