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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling -> Seminary Info
Do seminaries disqualify someone who went to therapy?
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amother
Cornsilk


 

Post Sun, Mar 12 2023, 5:41 pm
As a high school teacher who is involved in the seminary acceptance , I can tell you that the seminaries all ask about the applicants if they are socially and emotionally ok. They do not ask specifically if the girl is in therapy. As a matter of a fact, if the girl is in therapy and doing well - the school will not feel it necessary to elaborate. They will just give (honest) positive reviews on that girl.
On the other hand, if a girl is anxious, bitter, depressed, socially inappropriate etc - regardless of whether she is in therapy - the HS will probably say so (also honestly).
And please understand, the High School's and seminaries have a delicate balance to maintain. If the HS isnt truthful about their students, the next year they will not be able to get anyone in.
(the sems keep careful notes on these things!!)
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amother
Currant


 

Post Sun, Mar 12 2023, 5:59 pm
amother OP wrote:
I appreciate everyone who took time to write on my question.

Important to mention: I’m more interested in knowing if affects the girls acceptance than knowing if people think it’s a fair question or not.

Obviously it’s a very questionable question to ask (no pun intended LOL)
But what I wanna know is if it would disqualify her from getting accepted.

Does the seminary assume that you’re not being honest and ask your daughter’s school if she’s been or do they assume honesty?

How much do they care?

No one can answer that besides the seminary principal herself.
DD marked Yes for therapy, was accepted to one, waitlisted for another, and rejected from the third.
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amother
Stone


 

Post Sun, Mar 12 2023, 6:28 pm
amother Black wrote:
Have you seen the questions for a college dorm application?

Anyway - if my 17/18 daughter was rooming with a girl who had been treated for antisocial behaviours, and the seminary was totally unaware, I’d be furious.

If I’m responsible for a group of girls at the seminary and one has been treated for suicidal ideation, but the seminary didn’t know, I’d be furious.

This is not saying those girls shouldn’t be accepted, but these things shouldn’t be hidden either.


There's a difference between antisocial behaviors and the other myriad reasons of going to therapy. Regardless, the tiny few with antisocial behaviors wouldn't admit to them anyways, so any such questionnaire wouldn't be helpful.

I agree with the others - it's a question to ask AFTER acceptance not before. This should never be lumped together with the criteria for eligibility. It should be included with the follow-up paperwork needed to prep for the incoming students.
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Sun, Mar 12 2023, 6:35 pm
Soon seminaries will realize that it's often the girls who have been to therapy who are more emotionally healthy. In my oot community at least 75% of kids have been in therapy at some point. My daughter who's going to sem next year hasn't been but she's an exception even among my kids
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amother
Clear


 

Post Sun, Mar 12 2023, 7:33 pm
As we get closer to the age when kids have been affected by covid the therapy need goes up. My current 9 year old was traumatized by covid because she has anxiety. She will likely be in therapy for years. If that prevents a seminary from taking her, many girls from her class won't get in. Many of them were affected by covid and go to therapy. I know we have a few years but I am making a point.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Sun, Mar 12 2023, 8:41 pm
It saddens me that with all the mental health awareness we are still defensive and hiding basic things like therapy .
every single one of my kids had therapy at one point or another, some for smaller things (thi k 4 or 5 sessions) some for mega things (for yrs). I never didn't put it on applications, camp, SEM, etc. bih kids all got in everywhere! Be honest. if they do t feel equipped to deal with say severe anxiety then you don't want your dd there anyway if that's her struggle.
last yr my dd struggled with depression and was on meds, we put it on by SEM application and she still got in first round. surely you can't think sems are so naive that they take 100 girls and don't think more than half have been to therapy?
own it be proud she's gotten the help she needs.
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amother
Vanilla


 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2023, 5:47 pm
As a high school teacher I can tell you that it is very very very common for girls to go to therapy. Some girls have gone for bigger issues (abuse, trauma etc.) And some girls have gone for more minor issues (learning coping skills, mild anxiety etc.). It's not as taboo as it used to be BH! And I feel like therapy could be beneficial for everyone in middle school/high school.
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amother
Caramel


 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2023, 6:05 pm
When I asked this shaila (it was discussed here in December) I was told by my rav that very few seminaries will give you consideration if they know your dd went to therapy or is on medication. He told me he'd think about what to write but I never called him back for an answer. I'd heard enough. Since I was the one that filled out and mailed dd's applications anyway I lied and said no on all the applications. She never asked to see it and I never told her. She got into 2 top ones and was waitlisted by the 3rd. I wouldn't take the risk. It sounds great when you write online "if they don't want my daughter we don't want them either, etc etc etc" but taking the chance that your dd will be rejected IRL is not so simple.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:01 pm
To those of you who lied on the application - do you disclose that your daughter has been in,or is still in, therapy, after she has been accepted?
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malky800




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:47 pm
I wrote that my daughter had/was going through therapy.
It has only made her more emotionally responsible.

She is an amazing girl otherwise and she got into 2 seminaries.

I would never hide it.

I would be surprised, because more kids than ever before are in therapy. It's not a stigma , but the seminary deserves to know before hand, not to use it as a rejection.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 11 2023, 2:50 pm
malky800 wrote:
I wrote that my daughter had/was going through therapy.
It has only made her more emotionally responsible.

She is an amazing girl otherwise and she got into 2 seminaries.

I would never hide it.

I would be surprised, because more kids than ever before are in therapy. It's not a stigma , but the seminary deserves to know before hand, not to use it as a rejection.


Whoa! Thats amazing!! Smile
It gives us chiuzk to see that someone got into 2 places even though they wrote it on the application.
Were they Bais Yaakov type of seminaries or not really?

It seems to be that non-Bais Yaakov seminaries are usually more accepting of it. And since we are more Yeshivish, we wouldn't be sending to those kinds of places.

What kind of place did she get into?
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amother
Tuberose


 

Post Tue, Apr 11 2023, 3:59 pm
DD is in therapy. We were very nervous to include it on the application but did, based on the psak we got. BH she got into 2 of the seminaries she applied to, including her top choice, which is a top BY seminary. She was asked about it in the interviews, and through that was able to articulately convey how it has been beneficial to her and only been a positive, and helped her be more prepared for a year in seminary. The schools that asked the most in the interviews are the ones that accepted her.
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Cressel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 7:23 pm
I'm not OP but I'm wondering how much seminaries care about therapy or if you they usually don't mind as long as they know more information?
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amother
Currant


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 7:24 pm
And I wonder if girls continue therapy while in Israel
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Cressel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 7:27 pm
amother Currant wrote:
And I wonder if girls continue therapy while in Israel


They can!

There is an organization called Tatzmichu that pays for therapy for seminary girls.

They are under the Rabbinical guidance of the renowned and esteem, R' Eytan Fiener

https://tatzmichu.org

They are wonderful. They pay for the sessions and they make sure every girl is paired with the right therapist for their needs.
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amother
Currant


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 7:35 pm
Wow, this is amazing.
I meant, how common is it for girls to continue their therapy while in seminary in Israel?
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Cressel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 7:37 pm
amother Currant wrote:
Wow, this is amazing.
I meant, how common is it for girls to continue their therapy while in seminary in Israel?


Not sure, but it must be enough for there to be an entire organization dedicated to it Smile
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amother
Ballota


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 7:55 pm
Isn’t going to therapy a good thing?
I would accept that over the countless issuatic undealt with girls that are in dire need of a therapist.
Therapy puts you into place just as seminary and is a dr. for your emotional health!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 8:18 pm
amother Ballota wrote:
Isn’t going to therapy a good thing?
I would accept that over the countless issuatic undealt with girls that are in dire need of a therapist.
Therapy puts you into place just as seminary and is a dr. for your emotional health!


I agree that going to therapy is a good thing. It's a crucial thing. But sadly, it seems that it gets complicated when you put it on an application so I'm to see what to do.

My daughter is such a wonderful girl, all her teachers admire her and she LOVES to learn.

I'm just trying to figure out what to do about this.....
I'd so much appreciate if anyone has ideas about what to do for her.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 9:52 pm
If there is a known issue that is obviously hard anyway- like a divorce or chronic illness in the family or tragedy then I think therapy is likely to be seen as a positive and there is no reason to skip the question. It would be like yes- it helped with adjustment to this or that....
. If it is less obvious that it was needed and if there is no real risk of the school needing to know something (not risky behaviors or eating disorder/ more like mild to moderate anxiety or adjustment issues that no one else really sees) than I would skip it.

Modern schools are much more forgiving of both therapy annd medication and as long as there is no risky behavior they are unlikely to reject because of it. It is extremely common in those schools for people to pay for therapy and use meds even when borderline needed.
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