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S/o a BP'er who doesn't do it
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 9:46 am
My point isn't to rehash that thread but just wondering if any BPers like me exist.

- I don't look perfect when I go out, perhaps I look even a little "shluchy" (I try to not be dirty, but that level of perfectness that everyone seems to have... no... I just don't)
- I hate the pressure that we have to look perfect
- I don't make sure my stroller is perfectly clean and my kids look perfectly clean. Sometimes I walk home and my baby eats stuff in the stroller. And gets dirty!
- I don't like the prices for local stuff, and I hate that if I want to get from non-Jewish stores I need to try to match it to the BP fashion, otherwise my children will stick out.

Just in general I get really pressured by all this focus on looking just perfect and when I don't get it exactly right, I feel looked down upon.

So yeah, people have a knack to look put together but those that don't.... or aren't interested in that... feel less than. Unless they're super confident in themselves.

It's not a rant against BP. Yes I know many people love it. Just wondering if there are others who are bothered by this and maybe I can find some "shluchy" friends LOL
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 9:48 am
Im not a perfect fashionista either.
Difference is I’m not bothered by it.
I am who I am.
Take it or leave it.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 9:49 am
amother Lilac wrote:
Im not a perfect fashionista either.
Difference is I’m not bothered by it.
I am who I am.
Take it or leave it.


That's really great! It's something I work on.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 9:50 am
I got “matching” clothes for my kids at Primark. $4 a tshirt. No need to overspend on clothes…. If you look you’ll find for a decent price. Designer Spot on 13/48 has great prices for kids clothes.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 9:53 am
flowerpower wrote:
I got “matching” clothes for my kids at Primark. $4 a tshirt. No need to overspend on clothes…. If you look you’ll find for a decent price. Designer Spot on 13/48 has great prices for kids clothes.


thanks that's good to know about Primark. But my point is that if you try to buy cheaper you need to search for that perfect thing that matches with what BP is currently selling. Which takes a lot of energy that I'm not interested in expending! And then I'm not even sure if I got it right.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 9:56 am
amother OP wrote:
thanks that's good to know about Primark. But my point is that if you try to buy cheaper you need to search for that perfect thing that matches with what BP is currently selling. Which takes a lot of energy that I'm not interested in expending! And then I'm not even sure if I got it right.


Seriously? I never felt an ounce of pressure and do what I want. If my kids get something by mistake that is too boro parky I don’t even put it on them. I dafka don’t dress my kids to look like 🐑
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 9:57 am
Also can we abolish TIGHTS?? I often wear long skirt and socks which I know is totally not socially acceptable here to go out on the street in (not just right out of house or grocery) but I ABHOR tights.
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amother
Razzmatazz


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 9:58 am
amother OP wrote:
thanks that's good to know about Primark. But my point is that if you try to buy cheaper you need to search for that perfect thing that matches with what BP is currently selling. Which takes a lot of energy that I'm not interested in expending! And then I'm not even sure if I got it right.


Learn to care less. My kids only need to be dressed appropriately for the weather and their size, and (mostly) clean. Anything more than that takes up precious brain space that I have no interest in donating to the cause. Luckily me and my kids still have plenty of good friends.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 9:59 am
amother Razzmatazz wrote:
Learn to care less. My kids only need to be dressed appropriately for the weather and their size, and (mostly) clean. Anything more than that takes up precious brain space that I have no interest in donating to the cause. Luckily me and my kids still have plenty of good friends.


I'm trying!
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GLUE




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 10:00 am
amother OP wrote:
Also can we abolish TIGHTS?? I often wear long skirt and socks which I know is totally not socially acceptable here to go out on the street in (not just right out of house or grocery) but I ABHOR tights.


If you are wearing a long skirt, how does anyone know you are wearing socks?
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YounginBP




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 10:14 am
I kind of love this thread

All of us to some extent, don't do "it"

I'm dressed put together, but how many things are this years style and trendy? Maybe 1.
Yes my baby eats in the stroller too, mostly clean but the sitter.... I can't to a full scrub every 3 days and that's ok too

I think I mostly have to together. Accept when it's erev pesach, or when I had a hard morning, or I stayed 2 min late at work and I'm running to catch the bus or when I didn't sleep enough... You get the gist? No one is perfect, we are all fake to a certain extent...

Oh wait, my DC summer teeshirts and are not shopped yet .. the horror!!!
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amother
Vanilla


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 10:20 am
I'm not in BP but a diff in-town area in Brooklyn.
I do my own thing and could not care less what other people think and feel zero pressure. It's a choice to feel pressured. My kids mostly wear hand me downs and target/h&m/gap & oldnavy etc. I very rarely shop in jewish stores and I don't try to find "jewish style" clothing either.
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amother
Vanilla


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 10:21 am
amother OP wrote:
Also can we abolish TIGHTS?? I often wear long skirt and socks which I know is totally not socially acceptable here to go out on the street in (not just right out of house or grocery) but I ABHOR tights.


Who said you have to wear tights? I only wear tights to work because I need a more professional look. But otherwise it's long skirts, socks and sneakers. Even on shabbos when going out with my kids in the afternoon I'll wear long maxi skirt and socks
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amother
Vanilla


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 10:22 am
YounginBP wrote:
I kind of love this thread

All of us to some extent, don't do "it"

I'm dressed put together, but how many things are this years style and trendy? Maybe 1.
Yes my baby eats in the stroller too, mostly clean but the sitter.... I can't to a full scrub every 3 days and that's ok too

I think I mostly have to together. Accept when it's erev pesach, or when I had a hard morning, or I stayed 2 min late at work and I'm running to catch the bus or when I didn't sleep enough... You get the gist? No one is perfect, we are all fake to a certain extent...

Oh wait, my DC summer teeshirts and are not shopped yet .. the horror!!!


I haven't bought summer stuff either. I don't shop for summer until june
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 10:29 am
amother Vanilla wrote:
I'm not in BP but a diff in-town area in Brooklyn.
I do my own thing and could not care less what other people think and feel zero pressure. It's a choice to feel pressured. My kids mostly wear hand me downs and target/h&m/gap & oldnavy etc. I very rarely shop in jewish stores and I don't try to find "jewish style" clothing either.


Good for you. I'm trying not to feel pressured. But I still do.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 10:30 am
amother Vanilla wrote:
Who said you have to wear tights? I only wear tights to work because I need a more professional look. But otherwise it's long skirts, socks and sneakers. Even on shabbos when going out with my kids in the afternoon I'll wear long maxi skirt and socks


Do you live in BP?
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amother
Vanilla


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 10:47 am
amother OP wrote:
Do you live in BP?


No I live in Flatbush. But even when I go to BP (usually for dr/dentists appts) I wear long skirt and socks. The only place I wear tights is to work.
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amother
Lightgreen


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 11:01 am
I live in bp, and I’m trying to feel more pressure!
I can walk out without makeup
My kids eat in the carriage
I shop in Tottini and designers spot, but only like 2 things so my kids can be matching, otherwise I shop online
I never heard of dressing up for the streets, I’m usually the opposite: Sunday I wear my “nebbiest” outfit because nooone on the street knows me, as opposed to the rest of the week where I go to work and meet people I know.
I’m with you regarding tights.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 11:01 am
amother OP wrote:
thanks that's good to know about Primark. But my point is that if you try to buy cheaper you need to search for that perfect thing that matches with what BP is currently selling. Which takes a lot of energy that I'm not interested in expending! And then I'm not even sure if I got it right.

Lots of Boro Parkers shop in Primark, Old Navy, Gap, H&M, etc. We don't search for "that perfect thing that matches with what BP is currently selling". We are just attracted to a certain style, so when we find it, we buy it.

About the tights, considering that BP is predominately chassidish, and tights and mid-length skirts are part of the "dress code" (tznius standard), it won't be abolished.

I do think, at the end of the game, it comes down to how much you care (or don't). Most people passing by you in the street don't pay any attention to how put together you or kids are, or if your carriage is freshly washed or not.
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tweety1




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 17 2023, 11:51 am
Me, myslef, and I don't have to look perfect. I sometimes run out without earrings too. My kids though, a different story. They must be clean and put together.
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