S/o a BP'er who doesn't do it

amother

Ghostwhite

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 12:45 pm

What makes me laugh is the perfect stroller part.

I have my stroller from multiple kids, and its clean and perfect, not because I am a balabusta, but because I live in Lakewood and rarely use it lol.

The back seats of my car and the carseats, on the other hand.... Can't Believe It

zaq

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 3:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

My point isn't to rehash that thread but just wondering if any BPers like me exist.

- I don't look perfect when I go out,
- I hate the pressure that we have to look perfect
- I don't like the prices for local stuff, and I hate that if I want to get from non-Jewish stores I need to try to match it to the BP fashion, otherwise my children will stick out.

Just in general I get really pressured by all this focus on looking just perfect and when I don't get it exactly right, I feel looked down upon.

So why do you live there? There are other places to live where things are not this way, and they have Jewish schools, shuls, mikvaot, kosher places to eat and all or most of the necessities of Jewish life, if perhaps not in quite the same abundance.

amother

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 3:57 pm

zaq wrote:

Read this thread.

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....esult

amother

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 3:59 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

I live in bp, and I’m trying to feel more pressure!
I can walk out without makeup
My kids eat in the carriage
I shop in Tottini and designers spot, but only like 2 things so my kids can be matching, otherwise I shop online
I never heard of dressing up for the streets, I’m usually the opposite: Sunday I wear my “nebbiest” outfit because nooone on the street knows me, as opposed to the rest of the week where I go to work and meet people I know.
I’m with you regarding tights.

What do you mean you're trying to feel more pressure? I can give you some Wink

amother

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 4:02 pm

amother Pumpkin wrote:

Lots of Boro Parkers shop in Primark, Old Navy, Gap, H&M, etc. We don't search for "that perfect thing that matches with what BP is currently selling". We are just attracted to a certain style, so when we find it, we buy it.

About the tights, considering that BP is predominately chassidish, and tights and mid-length skirts are part of the "dress code" (tznius standard), it won't be abolished.

I do think, at the end of the game, it comes down to how much you care (or don't). Most people passing by you in the street don't pay any attention to how put together you or kids are, or if your carriage is freshly washed or not.

So I guess I'm not specifically attracted to that style, but I feel in order to fit in I need to get that style.

Yes I know I shouldn't care.

amother

Ballota

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 4:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

My point isn't to rehash that thread but just wondering if any BPers like me exist.

- I don't look perfect when I go out, perhaps I look even a little "shluchy" (I try to not be dirty, but that level of perfectness that everyone seems to have... no... I just don't)
- I hate the pressure that we have to look perfect
- I don't make sure my stroller is perfectly clean and my kids look perfectly clean. Sometimes I walk home and my baby eats stuff in the stroller. And gets dirty!
- I don't like the prices for local stuff, and I hate that if I want to get from non-Jewish stores I need to try to match it to the BP fashion, otherwise my children will stick out.

Just in general I get really pressured by all this focus on looking just perfect and when I don't get it exactly right, I feel looked down upon.

So yeah, people have a knack to look put together but those that don't.... or aren't interested in that... feel less than. Unless they're super confident in themselves.

It's not a rant against BP. Yes I know many people love it. Just wondering if there are others who are bothered by this and maybe I can find some "shluchy" friends LOL

my adult daughter claims boro parkers are somewhat shabby looking.

amother

Butterscotch

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 5:09 pm

amother Ballota wrote:

my adult daughter claims boro parkers are somewhat shabby looking.

Well that’s not true 😂 has she ever been to BP?
We may not agree on much as a klal, but on this I think we can agree! In general, boro Parker’s are very put together whatever the OPPOSITE of shabby is

flowerpower

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 5:14 pm

amother Ballota wrote:

my adult daughter claims boro parkers are somewhat shabby looking.

What a silly comment to make. There are so many women living there. How can they all be shabby looking??? What does she define as shabby anyways?

amother

Ballota

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 5:26 pm

amother Butterscotch wrote:

my daughter meant shabby as in the opposite of expensive looking.

amother

Ballota

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 5:28 pm

amother Butterscotch wrote:

my daughter lives in BP and simply meant that in other neighborhoods people look more pricey from head to toe. She did not mean anything negative at all.

amother

Molasses

Fri, Mar 17 2023, 6:27 pm

amother Ballota wrote:

my daughter lives in BP and simply meant that in other neighborhoods people look more pricey from head to toe. She did not mean anything negative at all.

She has a point. There is a large percentage of people who have classy plain and not new style coats/wigs/skirts and they look put together. I can imagine which neighborhood she is talking about but let’s not go there..