Books for absolute newbie

amother

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:50 pm

BH pregnant with my first, and I've never been interested in the topic of parenting until now. No younger siblings, and I haven't worked with children.

I'm very overwhelmed with the diversity of approaches you see out there. My parents did their best, and I'm very grateful to them, but nobody's perfect. No matter how hard DH and I try, I'm sure that 20 years down the line, our kids will find *something* to talk about in therapy.

What books/approaches would you recommend to a complete newbie who still has a few years before being able to actually implement any of them?

BrisketBoss

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:54 pm

A few years? Here's one to have from the start: "Your Self Confident Baby" by Magda Gerber

For toddlers, "No Bad Kids" by Janet Lansbury

General: "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
"Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn
"Raising Human Beings" by Ross Greene

mushkamothers

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:55 pm

Bshaah tova! You can and should absolutely begin right now - no need to wait years to implement anything.

Books:
Your self confident baby by Magda Gerber
Elevating childcare by Janet Lansbury
Parenting from the inside out by Dan siegel (this is for you and a little heavier)

Edit haha cross-posted with Brisket boss. How to Talk is a little older though like toddler.

I dont want to self promo but this is exactly what I teach - parenting right from the start so you know what you're doing. No reason to learn on the job at your own expense... (Don't have anything to currently sell you anyways, just saying I have a lot of resources on this)

BrisketBoss

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

Self Confident Baby sounds interesting!

People think parenting is something that comes later, but those first few years really set the stage for life. Smile

It's a book about respecting your baby as a human individual and what that looks like.

amother

Grape

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

I've read many books and I think at some point you start integrating different things from different people into your approach. The ones mentioned above are all good. My all time favorite is "Good Inside" by Dr Becky Kennedy. Easy read and so aligned with torah hashkafos (her approach is based on the idea that even when kids struggle on the outside, they remain good inside - hence the title of her book.)

What I love about her book (and a few of the others above) is that although it's geared towards parenting, it really is alot about relationships, so you can implement into your life before having children.

mushkamothers

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 12:11 am

amother OP wrote:

Self Confident Baby sounds interesting!

Magda Gerber was the teacher of Janet Lansbury so the original philosophy for babies (she calls it RIE) comes from her. Janet expounded on it and made it for toddlers and young children as well. Can't go wrong with any of their books. It was a huge mindset shift when I first read it.

In general you don't have to agree or incorporate everything you read or hear about but the more you self educated the more educated your opinions will be.