DD 8 wishing she was dead

amother

Lemonlime

Wed, Mar 22 2023, 8:30 am

OP I could've written your post (though my DD phrases it differently).

My DD who fits exactly your description and sounds like the other girls described in this thread, was recently diagnosed with ASD (she has ADHD as well, and we did not suspect ASD at all). I think her photographic memory also fits with that, btw, and so does her being very bright. It's not a contradiction.

Please get your child a comprehensive neuro-psych evaluation with someone who will spot ASD if she has it.

One question, about the suicide stuff. Would your DD have heard such a phrase from anyone in her life? If so it could be that she wants to say something else but is phrasing it as she heard it, because she doesn't know a different way to express it, and if so I would agree that language therapy (ST) might be helpful.

Good luck OP, it's not easy.

LovesHashem

Wed, Mar 22 2023, 9:54 am

amother Lemonlime wrote:

I was going to say this as well. Reminds me of me as a kid. I didn't want to jump in and say possibly ASD because sometimes I feel like I jump in too quick and people aren't prepared to hear that, and maybe I'm jumping to conclusions.

But seems like I'm not the only one thinking it's potentially ASD.

amother

Wed, Mar 22 2023, 10:34 am

She doesn't seem to have ASD. She makes eye contact, picks up on people's emotions, met all of her developmental psychosocial milestones ahead of time.

She focuses very well in school. She works hard, even though she understands the material without much effort. Her teachers make it challenging and provide additional enrichment.

To the poster who mentioned that she is suicidal, you are incorrect. There is a huge difference between suicidal r"l and a passive death wish.

My dh says, and he is right, she doesn't really want to die. She enjoys her life. She looks forward to a lot of different things. In the mornings, she's fine. Gets up early, gets herself ready for school with no complaints. These statements are just a way of expressing how she feels at that moment. Which is very real in the moment and I acknowledge that.

One of my worries with getting an evaluation or similar, is that it will plant ideas in her head. For example, she has never been exposed to the concept of suicide, someone killing himself. If somebody asks for that question (for other questions that she wouldn't have thought of on her own), it's going to open up her mind to more ideas than I wish for her to be exposed to at this age.

Also, this is not severe enough that she needs medication. So what is the point of having a diagnosis to label her by, if I can access the same modalities of treatment and gain an understanding of how I as a parent can best help her, without a diagnosis.

I think every single person has challenges that could often fit into criteria for a diagnosis. If someone's issues are really impacting their day-to-day functioning, then I agree it may be important to have a diagnosis.

I really appreciate the responses!! It's good to hear from other people dealing with similar. And even if I don't seem to agree with you, I still find it very helpful to hear other perspectives and ideas.

amother

Black

Wed, Mar 22 2023, 11:01 am

amother OP wrote:

I agree with all this.

I was se×ually abused by an older brother when I was little. My parents never spoke to me about it or sent me for help. I remember looking out the window as a young kid (9-10) and wishing I was dead. Just wanted to put it out there to look out for signs of abuse. I hope that is not the case with her...