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Forum -> Children's Health
Imamother vs IRL re health and safety opinions
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amother
Navyblue


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 1:55 pm
watergirl wrote:
I think this is community dependent.

I've never seen a baby in a car seat that is in an actual car in a puffy coat. Everyone today knows how dangerous that is. Same with blankets and babies in a crib. And I know literally no one who buys into the European shoes or clothing thing.

Actually , I never heard of this puffy coat rule until this very thread. I always put my babies in their car seats in snow suits. That’s pretty puffy if you ask me. And blankets in the crib I only knew about with my youngest child which I never used with her until she was close to a year old.

And my DH and I are sticklers to rules and safety . Not sure how I missed the car seat and coat one.

Also, I think it’s a few imas who are the ones that know every law and every safety rule out there and are the ones that repeat themselves on the threads . IRL , most people I know do follow the safety rules. But nobody is getting over dramatic if they see someone’s baby with a blanket or a toddler with European high top shoes (nothing wrong with those either as long as the child is walking) .
Here people who would otherwise keep their opinion to themselves , are vocal. But if they met you in the doctors office waiting room they wouldn’t say a word , even if they think you are doing something wrong.
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amother
Navyblue


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:00 pm
amother Beige wrote:
I am appalled by the lack of safety knowledge on imamother. In the real world I live in everyone knows that coats in car seats cause kids to fly out and die in a crash. Everyone knows babies suffocate on blankets and die. Only in here do I hear people talk about convenience and play god.

I have children ranging between 22 and 3 and never heard of the no coats in car seats . Neither did my DH . I’ve always been educated in the hospitals at birth about the importance of car seats . I do not ever recall them mentioning not to put the baby in with a puffy coat .
Never did my pediatrician ever tell me anything either . When I had my first child they sent home a booklet of basics . No mention of that .
How many years ago did people know about this? How should one know about this if they don’t watch TV and see commercials about things like this ?
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amother
Beige


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:01 pm
amother Navyblue wrote:
I have children ranging between 22 and 3 and never heard of the no coats in car seats . Neither did my DH . I’ve always been educated in the hospitals at birth about the importance of car seats . I do not ever recall them mentioning not to put the baby in with a puffy coat .
Never did my pediatrician ever tell me anything either . When I had my first child they sent home a booklet of basics . No mention of that .
How many years ago did people know about this? How should one know about this if they don’t watch TV and see commercials about things like this ?


The car seats even have warnings on them. This is well known for at least 15-20 years.
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amother
Navyblue


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:11 pm
amother Beige wrote:
The car seats even have warnings on them. This is well known for at least 15-20 years.

Wow. I was totally clueless. We always found it frustrating having to fasten the car seat with the bulk and constantly adjusting it but never knew it was an official safety issue.
I had most of my kids before 15 years ago . I think it was not as popular even 10 years ago based on my Google searches. And it seems that when my
Youngest was a baby that’s when there was a lot more information about this online.
I’m a pretty worldly person and most of my family works in the medical field and nobody ever said anything. I thought those fancy car seat warmer things were for trendiness. I had no idea it was related to safety at all.
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Laiya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:17 pm
amother Arcticblue wrote:
People should wake up and realize that these agencies don't actually give a hoot about anyone's health or safety. They're all about lining their own pockets. They are basically pharma reps. That doesn't mean that everything they say is false, but they neither are they some kind of divinity to be worshipped. Use your brains, people. It's 2023 and America's state of health is nothing to be admired.

https://www.aap.org/en/philant.....ners/

Oh and your pediatrician isn't some kind of parenting guru either. They are good for running bloodwork, strep tests and viral panels, diagnosing acute issues and dispensing medication when needed. Their training basically consists of matching clusters of symptoms to allopathic drugs. They are NOT experts at feeding, sleeping, breastfeeding, childrearing, preventing or treating chronic illnesses, and treating mild, normal health issues.


So ask questions and evaluate each issue. Don't blindly trust, but also don't dismiss something that might be right. There's no downside to being safer with babies in cars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA7r92TFMY8
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amother
Arcticblue


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:36 pm
Laiya wrote:
So ask questions and evaluate each issue. Don't blindly trust, but also don't dismiss something that might be right. There's no downside to being safer with babies in cars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA7r92TFMY8

That's pretty much what I said. But keep in mind that a lot more children are dying from chronic illnesses due to processed foods, pesticides and toxins in our environment than from wearing puffy coats in carseats and I don't see the aap saying boo about that, so I simply don't see them as a very trustworthy source of information and would never quote them for anything. They might mention it in small print, but certainly no TV and hospital campaigns to bring awareness or anything. So corrupt. And makes me doubt everything else they say.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:39 pm
amother Arcticblue wrote:
That's pretty much what I said. But keep in mind that a lot more children are dying from chronic illnesses due to processed foods, pesticides and toxins in our environment than from wearing puffy coats in carseats and I don't see the aap saying boo about that, so I simply don't see them as a very trustworthy source of information and would never quote them for anything. They might mention it in small print, but certainly no TV and hospital campaigns to bring awareness or anything. So corrupt. And makes me doubt everything else they say.


You do whatever you can in your control that is your job. God doesn’t expect you to control things beyond your control. There is zero excuse to use a coat or blanket ( for newborns ) once you are aware of the risks.
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amother
Steel


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:41 pm
amother Arcticblue wrote:
That's pretty much what I said. But keep in mind that a lot more children are dying from chronic illnesses due to processed foods, pesticides and toxins in our environment than from wearing puffy coats in carseats and I don't see the aap saying boo about that, so I simply don't see them as a very trustworthy source of information and would never quote them for anything.
Link those studies please. I haven’t seen them.
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amother
Oatmeal


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:41 pm
mushkamothers wrote:
I do all these "imamother" things IRL so maybe it depends who you're seeing in your real life.


This.

It’s probably community dependent. (Stiff fancy shoes for toddlers for sure.)
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:43 pm
amother Arcticblue wrote:
That's pretty much what I said. But keep in mind that a lot more children are dying from chronic illnesses due to processed foods, pesticides and toxins in our environment than from wearing puffy coats in carseats and I don't see the aap saying boo about that, so I simply don't see them as a very trustworthy source of information and would never quote them for anything. They might mention it in small print, but certainly no TV and hospital campaigns to bring awareness or anything. So corrupt. And makes me doubt everything else they say.


You obviously don’t follow them as they have nutritional guidelines as well which support healthy eating.

https://www.aap.org/en/advocac.....tion/

If you don’t see them as trustworthy l do you trait your pediatrician because I am almost certain that any competent pediatrician would have the same recommendations.
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honey36




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:52 pm
amother Steel wrote:
I have 5 kids and shared my room with all of them when they were babies. I don’t use coats in the car seat and try not to spread germs among siblings. Same for most people I hang out with. This thread is so weird.


Ok, I'm sorry, I didn't realize people share a room with babies past the newborn age. Do you not do things in your room after your baby is asleep? (Get changed, talk, read, etc.) Does it not bother your sleeping baby when you make noise and turn the lights on?
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amother
Arcticblue


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:52 pm
Amarante wrote:
You obviously don’t follow them as they have nutritional guidelines as well which support healthy eating.

https://www.aap.org/en/advocac.....tion/

If you don’t see them as trustworthy l do you trait your pediatrician because I am almost certain that any competent pediatrician would have the same recommendations.
You are equating following aap guidelines with competence. I have different standards for judging competence. Also, their nutrition guidelines are a joke. And again, I don't see any hospital or TV ad campaigns for nutrition the way they do for carsear safety and back to sleep.
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theoneandonly




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:57 pm
honey36 wrote:
Ok, I'm sorry, I didn't realize people share a room with babies past the newborn age. Do you not do things in your room after your baby is asleep? (Get changed, talk, read, etc.) Does it not bother your sleeping baby when you make noise and turn the lights on?

My eighteen month old is still in my room. We have a fan/white noise machine so our little noises don't bother her. I don't think I ever moved a baby out of my room before a year.

(Not the amother you were responding to, btw)
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observer




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:57 pm
amother OP wrote:
Anyone feel like Imamother is totally different than IRL opinions re children's health and safety?

For instance coats in car seats. I learned on Imamother that it can be very dangerous if there is a crash. But IRL, everyone I see has their kids wearing puffy coats when strapped into their carseats.

Same goes for blankets with baby in crib. Or everyone I see IRL has their babies in high top European style shoes, while on Imamother only Robeez are OK. Etc


OP, the answer is that in real life you associate with a very specific crowd of people who are probably of similar upbringing and lifestyle (generally), while on Imamother, you are exposed to a more diverse group.

I have noticed that in certain circles, safety is not necessarily what it should be. Maybe due to lack of awareness, maybe due to the lifestyle, but that might explain the discrepancy.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:58 pm
amother Arcticblue wrote:
You are equating following aap guidelines with competence. I have different standards for judging competence. Also, their nutrition guidelines are a joke. And again, I don't see any hospital or TV ad campaigns for nutrition the way they do for carsear safety and back to sleep.


I don’t rely on ads because I don’t watch ads.

However in terms of using ads effectively, it is relatively easy to provide necessary information in car seats and back. Those kinds of informational ads are effective in the same way that anti smoking ads can be messaged effectively because the message is black and white with no subtle gray areas.

Nutritional information is much more complex and can’t be disseminated in a short period of time other than eat healthy. But the information is widely available for those who want to evaluate.
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honey36




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 2:59 pm
Amarante wrote:
Again these are best practices.

Kids get dirty. They don't necessary wipe so thoroughly either. In terms of showers, part of hygiene is instilling appropriate habits they then carry on with in later life. Most kids don't have to be supervised when showering after a certain age so what is the issue?

There are ways to attempt to isolate a sick child. Yes kids are pestilence bearers but that doesn't mean you just don't try to take measures like cleaning very well in terms of surfaces and trying to isolate the child in a separate bedroom to minimize exposure. You create a "sick room" and keep the kids out of the room. You wash the bathroom even more diligently than normal taking special care with surfaces that are touched like toilet levers, knobs and faucets.

I think the imamother post you linked was extreme because that involved actual allergies as I recall. However, most parents I know do attempt to provide good nutrition and eating habits for their children and limit the amount of junk as much as possible and/or have the "nosh" be healthier - e.g. whole wheat pretzels instead of potato chips.

Many people follow safety guidelines as suggested by their pediatricians.

Also if you adjust it to middle class parents who are concerned about their children, the percentage would be significantly higher than including not well educated parents who don't take care of their kids so carefully in general.


Don't think it has as much to do with "middle class" as it has to do with family size. Even if you are middle class, once you have 5+ kids, most of these "best practices" are likely to fall by the wayside. That's why I think their less common in the frum communities who have larger families. There's only so much you can do.

If you have 4 kids under the age of 10 and one of them is sick, I doubt the mother will have time to make sure the kids stay separated, do an extreme clean of all surfacea and the bathroom, or have and extra room in the house to make a "sick room". Maybe it would be possible for the typical American family with 1.5 kids and a dog.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 3:00 pm
I completely agree that pediatricians aren’t experts on parenting, sleeping, breastfeeding, or overall child development. They just aren’t. They are medical professionals. As someone in education who has real deep understanding of child development, I have seen this time and time again. Parents saying well my dr says xyz regarding their child’s development or habits, or issues and they are proven to be so off base.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 3:07 pm
honey36 wrote:
Don't think it has as much to do with "middle class" as it has to do with family size. Even if you are middle class, once you have 5+ kids, most of these "best practices" are likely to fall by the wayside. That's why I think their less common in the frum communities who have larger families. There's only so much you can do.

If you have 4 kids under the age of 10 and one of them is sick, I doubt the mother will have time to make sure the kids stay separated, do an extreme clean of all surfacea and the bathroom, or have and extra room in the house to make a "sick room". Maybe it would be possible for the typical American family with 1.5 kids and a dog.


So you are essentially saying quantity over quality 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I would assume other aspects of parenting are also not able to be done because there simply isn’t time or energy
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amother
Beige


 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 3:09 pm
amother Cobalt wrote:
I completely agree that pediatricians aren’t experts on parenting, sleeping, breastfeeding, or overall child development. They just aren’t. They are medical professionals. As someone in education who has real deep understanding of child development, I have seen this time and time again. Parents saying well my dr says xyz regarding their child’s development or habits, or issues and they are proven to be so off base.


They really aren’t experts on any of that. It’s on us to read and learn about safety and health in all areas. This is what being an adult means, no one is going to hold your hand through the process.
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honey36




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 22 2023, 3:13 pm
Amarante wrote:
So you are essentially saying quantity over quality 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I would assume other aspects of parenting are also not able to be done because there simply isn’t time or energy


No, I don't think people should be completely careless and just throw all safety out the window in the sake of having more kids. But I do think it's okay if a few of the "stricter" rules are not kept. Everyone should just do the best they can.

Do you think we should limit our kids just because they don't have any extra room in the house in case one of them gets sick or we don't have time to shower them all 4 times a week (IME kids under 7 still need help bathing)
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