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Playgroup Morahs
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 6:27 am
I've been a playgroup Morah for over 15 years. It's hard. It's rough. I love it.
But I have to say, over the past 2 years or so, the level of nastiness, of complaints, of insane expectations have skyrocketed to the point that I'm constantly wondering if it's worth continuing.

A few thoughts about me. I know you all know Morahs that it doesn't apply to, but there are just as many that it does.

1) I don't just raise my rates to the highest possible. I go according to community norms, and cost of living. I'm sorry that you didn't get a raise. Truly. But the same way the grocery raised milk prices and hosiery stores raised tights prices. Do you complain to the grocery store
2) There are no subs to be had except for exorbitant prices. Practically that means I pay around $100 just to go to a siddur play. I rarely take off because I can't. I end up having no choice and work while I'm unwell.
3) I don't get paid maternity. Not a cent. I don't just pay my entire salary to the sub, I pay more. Practically that means that I can't decide to get pregnant until I have an extra 6k lying around. And I'm usually expected to be back at 5 weeks or so.
4) I don't get any "teacher" bonuses. No matza and wine, no clothing.
5) I pay a lot of taxes. That means a self-employed rate of 15%.

I'm not getting rich. I'm breaking even. But I'm not out to get you either. It would be nice if there was a level of courtesy and respect. Instead of the yelling and veiled threats that you don't want to pay me for April because I'm off 2 weeks.
There is such a shortage of Morahs. Let's not discourage even more from joining the field.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 6:28 am
Agree
Thanks for your hard work!!
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amother
Hunter


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 6:53 am
Playgroup morah adding : The complaining is mostly on imamother!
The parents in my group are really nice. I dk if they felt forced to or they were happy to do it but most gave me purim gelt and don't stop thanking me because their kids are so happy!
At some point I stopped reading imamother for just that reason.
OP I agree with everything you wrote!
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amother
Plum


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 7:58 am
Another morah here. Well said OP!!
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LO




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:15 am
Thank you for everything you do! I could never do your job, not for any money in the world, and I am so grateful to my children's morahs!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:31 am
amother Hunter wrote:
Playgroup morah adding : The complaining is mostly on imamother!
The parents in my group are really nice. I dk if they felt forced to or they were happy to do it but most gave me purim gelt and don't stop thanking me because their kids are so happy!
At some point I stopped reading imamother for just that reason.
OP I agree with everything you wrote!


I agree that the worst of the nastiness is on Imamother.
But I'm finding it happening more and more irl also. Complaining when I raise my prices. Complaining that I'm taking off starting Friday (I'm working, what should I do with my child) when I distributed a schedule in August.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:46 am
You’d need to really love being a Morah to do it. I’m between jobs and people ask why I don’t just become a Morah and rake it in. But even though I love kids, I know the Morah life isn’t for me. Being busy with kids all day is exhausting for me. I know dealing with certain parents’ expectations would just send me over the edge.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:47 am
Adding that even here in Imamother creates a toxic situation.
People are scared off from opening much needed playgroup and babysitting groups because of the level of expectations and demands that are are being expressed here
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amother
Hunter


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:48 am
amother OP wrote:
Adding that even here in Imamother creates a toxic situation.
People are scared off from opening much needed playgroup and babysitting groups because of the level of expectations and demands that are are being expressed here

I wonder if posters complaining here are as nasty in real life... because frankly I'm shocked at some responses here!
Maybe they're happy to have an anonymous place to vent and do all their complaining so they can be nice irl to the morah?
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:52 am
amother Hunter wrote:
Playgroup morah adding : The complaining is mostly on imamother!
The parents in my group are really nice. I dk if they felt forced to or they were happy to do it but most gave me purim gelt and don't stop thanking me because their kids are so happy!
At some point I stopped reading imamother for just that reason.
OP I agree with everything you wrote!


You forgot about the Voice
Why does the Voice have tons of letters complaining about playgroup Morahs but nothing about the LSTA?
Why do they fan the flames?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 11:15 am
amother Lilac wrote:
You forgot about the Voice
Why does the Voice have tons of letters complaining about playgroup Morahs but nothing about the LSTA?
Why do they fan the flames?


That is a very good point
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 11:51 am
amother Hunter wrote:
I wonder if posters complaining here are as nasty in real life... because frankly I'm shocked at some responses here!
Maybe they're happy to have an anonymous place to vent and do all their complaining so they can be nice irl to the morah?


I agree with this line of thinking. First, I will say that most Morahs are amazing and do an amazing job.

But to play devils advocate here, if all IRL interactions are full of praise and anonymous ones are vents, isn't there the possibility that people don't feel safe venting IRL? And who says it must be a situation where one side is wrong. Can it not be a situation where the morahs are doing what they can but the setup doesnt work with the setup of an average family's life?

Instead of looking at this as 'nasty' vents, maybe we should take a close look at the complaints. Perhaps if we all put our heads together, we would be able to tweak it a bit to make it work better.
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amother
DarkGreen


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 12:07 pm
Yes thank you for doing an amazing job but people are really struggling now more than ever! Be Dan lkaf zechis too! Signed a mother who can’t afford to send her child out due to financial reasons since playgroup prices quadrupled. Out of curiosity what’s ur going rate for next year. prices I heard are insane in my opinion 750-800 range a month when I paid 400 2 years ago
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 12:11 pm
amother Fuchsia wrote:
I agree with this line of thinking. First, I will say that most Morahs are amazing and do an amazing job.

But to play devils advocate here, if all IRL interactions are full of praise and anonymous ones are vents, isn't there the possibility that people don't feel safe venting IRL? And who says it must be a situation where one side is wrong. Can it not be a situation where the morahs are doing what they can but the setup doesnt work with the setup of an average family's life?

Instead of looking at this as 'nasty' vents, maybe we should take a close look at the complaints. Perhaps if we all put our heads together, we would be able to tweak it a bit to make it work better.


Alright.
So let's do it.
But not when the thrust of the argument is "playgroup Morahs are money-grubbing, just trying to grab all our money and provide no service"
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amother
Hunter


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 12:17 pm
amother DarkGreen wrote:
Yes thank you for doing an amazing job but people are really struggling now more than ever! Be Dan lkaf zechis too! Signed a mother who can’t afford to send her child out due to financial reasons since playgroup prices quadrupled. Out of curiosity what’s ur going rate for next year. prices I heard are insane in my opinion 750-800 range a month when I paid 400 2 years ago

Not charging anything near 750!! But unfortunately I don't have any room. I made a raffle to decide who to take from all the applications I got!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 12:23 pm
amother DarkGreen wrote:
Yes thank you for doing an amazing job but people are really struggling now more than ever! Be Dan lkaf zechis too! Signed a mother who can’t afford to send her child out due to financial reasons since playgroup prices quadrupled. Out of curiosity what’s ur going rate for next year. prices I heard are insane in my opinion 750-800 range a month when I paid 400 2 years ago


I do younger. 15-20. So I charge $600 for 9:15-3:15.
I also do a bit more days. Pesach I'm working Friday also, midwinter I didn't take off Tues.

But location really matters
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amother
Plum


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:42 pm
amother DarkGreen wrote:
Yes thank you for doing an amazing job but people are really struggling now more than ever! Be Dan lkaf zechis too! Signed a mother who can’t afford to send her child out due to financial reasons since playgroup prices quadrupled. Out of curiosity what’s ur going rate for next year. prices I heard are insane in my opinion 750-800 range a month when I paid 400 2 years ago
$800 is not insane if you take into account the work that goes into being a morah. And then there are expenses too. Although I don't know anyone who charges that amount.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:44 pm
amother Fuchsia wrote:
I agree with this line of thinking. First, I will say that most Morahs are amazing and do an amazing job.

But to play devils advocate here, if all IRL interactions are full of praise and anonymous ones are vents, isn't there the possibility that people don't feel safe venting IRL? And who says it must be a situation where one side is wrong. Can it not be a situation where the morahs are doing what they can but the setup doesnt work with the setup of an average family's life?

Instead of looking at this as 'nasty' vents, maybe we should take a close look at the complaints. Perhaps if we all put our heads together, we would be able to tweak it a bit to make it work better.
what can a morah tweak? She can either charge more to make it work for her. Or close down.
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21young




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 3:45 pm
I think this very much depends on the Morah.
When I send to a morah who doesn’t raise her prices exorbitantly (my very experienced, sought-after Morah charges $450), never takes off more than the school calendar that she distributed at the start of the year, and is extremely devoted, she will hear nothing but praise and receive extra tips.
When I hear stories of Morahs who arbitrarily add days off or take off without notice, raise prices after mothers already signed up, and have ridiculous expectations (ahem, no chametz 2 weeks before Pesach) you can bet they’ll get complaints.
All of us working mothers are bound to the rules of our workplace. We may make more money but we’re fully on the books, work office hours (no time off in the summer, before Pesach, etc.) and have many other cons. Yes, we each chose our jobs and they come with pros and cons, but we would lose our jobs if we behaved the way some of the Morahs did. You will receive feedback based on the way you treat your parents.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 4:12 pm
21young wrote:
I think this very much depends on the Morah.
When I send to a morah who doesn’t raise her prices exorbitantly (my very experienced, sought-after Morah charges $450), never takes off more than the school calendar that she distributed at the start of the year, and is extremely devoted, she will hear nothing but praise and receive extra tips.
When I hear stories of Morahs who arbitrarily add days off or take off without notice, raise prices after mothers already signed up, and have ridiculous expectations (ahem, no chametz 2 weeks before Pesach) you can bet they’ll get complaints.
All of us working mothers are bound to the rules of our workplace. We may make more money but we’re fully on the books, work office hours (no time off in the summer, before Pesach, etc.) and have many other cons. Yes, we each chose our jobs and they come with pros and cons, but we would lose our jobs if we behaved the way some of the Morahs did. You will receive feedback based on the way you treat your parents.


If you've maxed out on all your vacation days and then your child is running 103 fever, or your child has a chumash play, what will you do? Take an unpaid day. Right?

If my child is running 103 fever, or a child has a chumash play and I've made hundreds of calls and can't find a sub, what should I do? Cancel playgroup that day. Right?

Except if I cancel, you'll yell at me, badmouth me to all the neighbors and threaten me.

You have 1 employer. I have 10. And I have to jump to every single one of their demands, whether it's physically possible for me to or not.
And then we wonder why there's such a shortage of playgroup Morahs and babysitters and what should you do because you NEED to go back to work already.
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