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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Please don't leave your manners at home
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:16 am
I don't generally post a PSA, but I'm just so hurt!
Please don't leave your good middos at home when shopping! We bh got a gift card and I went out to shop something new for myself. I spent a bit more than the gift card so I had to pay the rest with a different method. The women right in back of me in line gave a loud sigh and just then she got a phone call. She picks up and says "one minute, this lady in front of me is taking so long, she's taking her time." I'm so so so embarrassed. No words. The cashier heard and said "it's okay, don't worry, it's fine."
And then the card machine malfunction for a minute and the women sighed again with a loud "UCH".
Ladies, I know we're all in a rush and the stores are crazy, but please be patient and sensitive and don't let the rush bring out the worst in you!!!
Thank you & wishing everyone an easy prep and nice yom tov!
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:17 am
Very rude! Sorry it happened to you.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:20 am
You do know, OP, that there are some people in this world who are more entitled than others, right? It's really unfair of you that you exist and then you landed in line in front of her, and that your transaction involved a few more minutes to process....plus, you should have checked in advance that the credit card machine wouldn't malfunction and keep her longer than usual.

It's just so super stressful not to get the kind of service and treatment one is entitled to.

/sarcasm alert/ (just in case)
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:22 am
Chayalle wrote:
You do know, OP, that there are some people in this world who are more entitled than others, right? It's really unfair of you that you exist and then you landed in line in front of her, and that your transaction involved a few more minutes to process....plus, you should have checked in advance that the credit card machine wouldn't malfunction and keep her longer than usual.

It's just so super stressful not to get the kind of service and treatment one is entitled to.

/sarcasm alert/ (just in case)

LOL thanks for the laugh!
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amother
Aconite


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:30 am
I'm like you op. Even though she's clearly wrong and so rude, I would cringe and get all sweaty.

Calling all armchair therapists. How do I transfer the misplaced shame into assertive speech?
In my ideal world, I'd simply turn around and tell her that was rude and unappreciated.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:36 am
amother Aconite wrote:
I'm like you op. Even though she's clearly wrong and so rude, I would cringe and get all sweaty.

Calling all armchair therapists. How do I transfer the misplaced shame into assertive speech?
In my ideal world, I'd simply turn around and tell her that was rude and unappreciated.


So I actually try to transfer misplaced shame to humor (see above). I have no need to educate rude people (I actually think you come out feeling worse, plus it's not my job to correct what their educators failed to do).

What I do is, I imagine myself up on a pedestal, with a slight lift of the eyebrows (are you really behaving like such a moron? Do you have any idea how you are degrading yourself with your obnoxious behavior?) And I just stay quiet and satisfied and think about how ridiculous some people are, and how glad I am to have been brought up better.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:38 am
Something is very wrong with her. Most normal people wouldn’t do this.
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amother
Maple


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:38 am
She sounds unstable. Normal people would be too ashamed to throw a tantrum like that in public. Someone like her isn’t reading any PSA and saying oh that sounds like me I better change.
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amother
Bluebonnet


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:38 am
When I’m in a situation like that my brain automatically starts making fun of the rude person. Oh poor baby. She needs to wait an extra 2 minutes. Her bottle is getting cold. She’s late for her nap. Etc It makes me feel a lot better.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:40 am
amother Bluebonnet wrote:
When I’m in a situation like that my brain automatically starts making fun of the rude person. Oh poor baby. She needs to wait an extra 2 minutes. Her bottle is getting cold. She’s late for her nap. Etc It makes me feel a lot better.


This is great!
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amother
Magnolia


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:43 am
I bet this woman didn't have any manners to leave at home..

I'm sorry this happened to you, so wrong. Reallity is there are off people everywhere, no psa will change that.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:48 am
amother Maple wrote:
She sounds unstable. Normal people would be too ashamed to throw a tantrum like that in public. Someone like her isn’t reading any PSA and saying oh that sounds like me I better change.


Unfortunately, I've been witnessing too much inconsiderate behavior at stores, but this time, I was the target.
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amother
Bluebell


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:49 am
Anyone has Wic and knows how long the checkout takes....??

I always feel bad when I make the others wait while I check out.

To be fair, my grocery has an express checkout that does not accpet Wic.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 11:51 am
Hugs op! Hope you davened for something you really want! You were publicly embarrassed.

That’s so rude. Honestly I’d rather be in your situation that in her situation- imagine being someone with no concept of other people’s feelings!
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:08 pm
amother OP wrote:
Unfortunately, I've been witnessing too much inconsiderate behavior at stores, but this time, I was the target.

If you kept quiet and didn't respond, you have the huge opportunity to bless - please bless my daughter to merit becoming a mother, and things should go smoothly for her and her husband. She is on a difficult journey, and has been through so much already. Your bracha would be very much appreciated.
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amother
Bellflower


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:14 pm
When this happens to me I usually turn around and genuinely and compassionately tell the person behind me "Hey, I'm sorry you're having a bad day, I hope it gets better" It's enough to give them the message that they were out of line but that I feel really bad for them.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:55 pm
amother Scarlet wrote:
If you kept quiet and didn't respond, you have the huge opportunity to bless - please bless my daughter to merit becoming a mother, and things should go smoothly for her and her husband. She is on a difficult journey, and has been through so much already. Your bracha would be very much appreciated.


May hashem bless your daughter and son in law with a healthy baby b'korov!
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amother
Vanilla


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 1:43 pm
As a dear aunt of mine always says, "Poor dear"
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mommyX2




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 1:47 pm
I thinkit serves her right that the credit card malfunctioned making her wait an extra fee minutes. Sorry you were embarrassed, I would be too even though if anyone should be embarrassed it's the lady behind you for her rude behavior!
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amother
Dahlia


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 2:05 pm
OP, I'm sorry you had to go thru that.

Can you please daven that I should get pregnant this cycle?
Trying for a while now...
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