Would I be crazy? | Imamother

amother

Jade

Fri, Mar 31 2023, 3:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

To put things into perspective, I have a six figure income that will probably take a small hit, a very special needs child, husband with a high salary and big position. Yes, it would cut into my work time and be a very big deal. A tremendous undertaking. The only reason I can consider doing it is because in my head 6 months is not forever. Debt is a big deal yes but sanity is too.

With that kind of income you should be able to cut somewhere else and pay off the debt that way. Trim the fat, as it were. If cleaning help is so important then find something else to cut.

amother

Fri, Mar 31 2023, 4:02 pm

amother Jade wrote:

With that kind of income you should be able to cut somewhere else and pay off the debt that way. Trim the fat, as it were. If cleaning help is so important then find something else to cut.

that’s true.

amother

Opal

Fri, Mar 31 2023, 4:20 pm

amother Maple wrote:

If that was the most ridiculous statement you’ve read here, congratulations to you lol. Actually made me laugh out loud.
Read all the books on smart finances and budgeting and you will see that bad debt should be eliminated. You need an emergency fund- if you’re already in debt and something else happens- what will you do? I will explain it in very simple terms- No matter how generous your income is, (so no matter how generous your income is, it’s irrelevant) if you have bad debt, then you are spending more than you can afford. Full stop. It’s a simple calculation.
That said, like all principles, they are generalized statements. Obviously unique, individual situations have unique, individual requirements.
I obviously don’t know your situation.
Insulting me won’t make your argument stronger.

It is more ignorance. Everyone claimed no cleaning lady with debt. Now you turned it into bad debt. All assumptions that need more details. I have a savings account I don’t touch it, my debt is not “bad”, I make enough to cover my bills, pay off some debt, and have a cleaning lady. Like I said living a crazy life just to have zero debt doesn’t add up.

amother

Maple

Fri, Mar 31 2023, 4:59 pm

amother Opal wrote:

Not trying to argue with you- trying to have a discussion, so I’m not sure why it’s necessary to tell me that my words are, and were, ignorance. But you’re confusing me. I didn’t intentionally “turn” anything. If someone is asking about debt and cleaning help, I assumed it wasn’t good debt because then it wouldn’t even be a question- like for example that’s like asking, if I have a mortgage can I still have cleaning help. The fact that the question is even being asked, leads people to believe that it’s not good debt.
If you disagree, that’s fine.
Happy for you that you’re doing well financially; that must be a very good feeling.

amother

Peony

Fri, Mar 31 2023, 6:13 pm

amother Pansy wrote:

Does your work rate your performance based on how your house looks? I'm not understanding how that is a thing.

of course not.
But if you come late to work because you were busy cleaning the kitchen, or you don't respond to an email in the evening because you're busy doing laundry, or you're stressed and can't fully be present at work or throw yourself into a work project because you're so stressed out that no one has clean uniforms for tomorrow, then yes, it will have an impact on your job performance.
If OP has a 6 figure income alone - in addition to her DH's income which is high as well- then I absolutely think that full time cleaning help is a work expense - and I would push off other "wants" (not needs but I would push off vacations/jewelry/unnecessary purchases etc)
personally, I would first look at things like the grocery bills etc and cut back there.
I would rather serve a simpler more basic supper but come home to a clean home, with clean socks in everyone's drawers!

amother

Pansy

Fri, Mar 31 2023, 6:30 pm

amother Peony wrote:

That's just a part of life, learning to balance personal and work. Of course you can't clean your house instead of going into work on time. You have to put personal issues aside at work. Everyone has stress and things going on outside of work and in their personal lives but it's just a part of being a mature professional not to bring these issues into the workplace, and it's not a question of having cleaning help or not.

amother

Cadetblue

Fri, Mar 31 2023, 6:32 pm

This is fascinating because I support our family financially and make much much less than you and we have (no cleaning help and) no debt BH. Good example of the more you earn the more you spend. Living beneath my means is a value I grew up with and it’s a value my husband shares as well.

amother

Silver

Sat, Apr 01 2023, 9:51 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

You should check out the thread going on with people explaining the reasons for their debt. In many cases it’s medical debt. Don’t be so smug, it’s up to Hashem not you.

amother

Cadetblue

Sat, Apr 01 2023, 10:17 pm

amother Silver wrote:

You should check out the thread going on with people explaining the reasons for their debt. In many cases it’s medical debt. Don’t be so smug, it’s up to Hashem not you.

I’m not smug at all. I’m commenting on the spending habits, not the debt.

amother

Sat, Apr 01 2023, 11:13 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

I do agree this sounds pretty smug. However, I won’t disagree. We DO live above our means. It is a constant struggle to do things less even on a basic level. It sounds simple but it’s not. I have the sort of job where I can make 1000 dollars in 5 minutes. To tell me not to shop clothing for myself for the new season or go out to eat…well it’s easier said than done. Ok yes maybe I need to get a grip, fine, but we all have different natures. In regard to the cleaning and you not having help. We obviously have different personal standards of cleanliness. I’ve heard people show off that they don’t have cleaning help and seen their houses…

amother

Cadetblue

Sat, Apr 01 2023, 11:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

Nothing wrong with lowering your standards, even temporarily. If it would help you overall it seems well worth it to me. But my bigger concern wound be staying out of debt once you eliminate it, and I’d venture a guess that making some cuts overall on Your standard a living would go a long way.

amother

Sat, Apr 01 2023, 11:21 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

yes, its something I’m constantly working on! I do think we have a learned a lesson from the debt we fell into. I appreciate your input.

amother

Gardenia

Sun, Apr 02 2023, 12:29 am

My opinion is that people get too dependent on their cleaning help, and then have unnecessary stress and upheaval when their cleaning ladies move on. Create home upkeep routines for yourself and your family, and you won’t need a cleaning lady. As long as you’re consistent with your routines, it’s easy. Dh and I have “dates” where we fold laundry and chat. My parents always washed the dishes together and talked after supper. Since you’re organized by nature, your routines will fall into place after a little experimenting. Google and you’ll find lots of suggestions for household cleaning routines.

amother

Gardenia

Sun, Apr 02 2023, 12:37 am

Adding that if you want to get spending under control in a sustainable way, you should look at where you and dh get your dopamine rushes, and work on finding healthier ways to get that dopamine. It’s very doable (and exciting) to make those changes.