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-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
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amother
OP
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 Tue, Apr 18 2023, 7:31 pm
What's the usual in a boy's middle school (7th grade) if a boy disrupts the class, gets a couple of warnings but it doesn't help? Is it normal to send a kid home for that or would a principal deal with this?
I'm talking about a regular kid who just doesn't want to learn and is disruptive.
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amother
Papayawhip
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 7:47 pm
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I assume you are the mother in this? I don't think there is a 'normal' here.
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Orange42
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 7:51 pm
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I imagine the disruption is difficult for others to learn, so if it’s happening enough, Suspension may happen with being required to talk to a school therapist. But there’s no normal. Just be sure to look out for the child’s needs.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 7:53 pm
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What are principals there for? Not to deal with kids who disrupt the class?
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shaqued_almond
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 7:56 pm
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If the principal is involved it must be an upcoming suspension. Some schools have a resource room where kid would take a break. It really depends on the school's policy
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amother
Celeste
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 7:58 pm
What exactly do you want the principal to do?
If the child is stopping other people learning, he doesn't belong in class.
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amother
Sand
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 7:58 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | What are principals there for? Not to deal with kids who disrupt the class? |
Look, you can't force a kid to learn. No matter how talented the principal is, the student needs to have some motivation to be an active participant. When a student is completely not responsive and the class is not learning because of him, yes, being sent home might be the only option.
A better question to ask here might be, how can I figure out what's making it so hard for my son to sit in class if he won't tell me? That might get you further.
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amother
Violet
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 8:01 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | What are principals there for? Not to deal with kids who disrupt the class? | No that’s not what principals are there for. They’re there to run the school.
Why is this child being disruptive, and why aren’t you doing what you can to make it stop? I also suspect they’re heading for a suspension.
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mha3484
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 8:03 pm
My boys yeshiva only calls after repeated incidents. They try to reset thr boys at least a few times before calling me.
There is only so much a principal can do if your kid isnt receptive to what they have to say.
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amother
Bottlebrush
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 8:10 pm
| amother OP wrote: | What's the usual in a boy's middle school (7th grade) if a boy disrupts the class, gets a couple of warnings but it doesn't help? Is it normal to send a kid home for that or would a principal deal with this?
I'm talking about a regular kid who just doesn't want to learn and is disruptive. |
He got a couple of warnings on the same day and was sent home? Or over a period of time?
What do you suggest the principal should do?
What have you, as a parent, done so far?
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notshanarishona
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 8:21 pm
Yes, most schools have some form of policy, lets say first time you get sent to the office is a warning, 2nd time detention, 3rd time suspension and then this resets every month type of thing. Suspension is done normally for one of 2 reasons, to show the kid and the parents to take it seriously, or if the kid did something so bad or unsafe they need to make a example of it that this behavior isn’t tolerated in school.
Presuming you are the parent over here and not the teacher, chronic disruptions are not ok. What are you doing to stop the issue?
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amother
Pear
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 8:25 pm
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OP, I am the parent of the disruptive child. My son knows if he's being disruptive to try to find a way to call home and I will come and get him. This is our job as parents.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 8:28 pm
So that's what I'm trying to understand how much responsibility lies on the school and how much on parents?
Kid had been evaluated and does not have a serious issues. He dislikes the learning and the Rebbe isn't tough so he keeps on acting up.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 8:29 pm
| amother Pear wrote: | | OP, I am the parent of the disruptive child. My son knows if he's being disruptive to try to find a way to call home and I will come and get him. This is our job as parents. |
How do you deal with your child when he comes home?
It's happened twice this year.
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notshanarishona
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 8:38 pm
| amother OP wrote: | So that's what I'm trying to understand how much responsibility lies on the school and how much on parents?
Kid had been evaluated and does not have a serious issues. He dislikes the learning and the Rebbe isn't tough so he keeps on acting up. |
It’s hard to answer without knowing more about the culture of the school and whats been tried so far , I have been a teacher for 15+ years so have a lot of experience in various school settings.
The responsibility lies somewhere in the middle, everyone needs to do their part. The parents need to backup the school, offer incentives, consequences for misbehavior, communicate regularly with teachers and be on top of what’s happening . The teacher needs to come up with a behavior plan, the principal needs to help enforce it as needed, etc.
Nothing is going to work if it’s a truly incompetent teacher and everyone is misbehaving. But, assuming the majority of the kids are managing to handle themselves in class and yours sticks out as regularly challenging him, then I would say its more your job as a parent to offer alternative options for discipline to the teacher.
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amother
Opal
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 9:22 pm
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The principal's job is to run the school: hire, fire and evaluate staff; ensure that there are adequate supplies and equipment available; plan or approve and update curricula; ensure compliance with health, safety, and educational standards; be the "incident commander" in case of emergency; determine when and whether to close school due to weather or other conditions; communicate with parents; and many other functions depending on size of the school. No, the principal's job is not to deal with disruptive students, although such children are often sent to the principal for a talking-to. The principal is not a therapist, social worker, or police officer, no matter what children or parents may think.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 9:42 pm
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At that age I know many kids that the parents pay private tutors to learn with the kid pit of class instead of the kid sitting in class an not learning and disrupting those that do want to learn.. the kids are too big for the principal to do much..
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TwinsMommy
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Tue, Apr 18 2023, 10:56 pm
I'm the parent of a kid who is so disruptive he's never been in a Jewish school and was expelled from public school into a behavior school. Go me. 
A kid like this, once the backup system fails a couple of times, should not continue being bounced into the backup system (any Fred Jones fans here?). This kid needs an MFE and if that leads to an IEP, great. Let's get the kid some help. If various interventions with an IEP help, great. If not, move onto an FBA/BIP (anyone in the mood for alphabet soup?)
If the kid has no special needs other than "he's bored in this teacher's class so that's where he acts up", then the teacher needs to get creative with him specifically. If the teacher normally doesn't use multiple modalities, then he can start now. A good teacher works with auditory students, visual students, etc etc. Boredom creates behavior (my kid who punches teachers is also gifted, btw). The kid could be assigned to teach part of the lesson in a particular way. He could be assigned to lead learning center groups. His skills could be utilized if he's gifted in music or art or whatever. If there's a parallel class, the kid could perhaps be bumped to the other class. Or, as someone stated above, get a tutor for that particular chunk of curriculum---- if his behavior is fine in limudei chol, maybe a private tutor during limudei kodesh time would work better.
With special needs, lots of home support is needed and bouncing a kid home generally maintains the function of behavior meant to escape an overwhelming situation (my kid wanted to be home without his sister. he got his wish many many many times). In the absence of special needs, school should be getting creative rather than just bouncing him. Either way, I hate the backup system and as an educator, I always did my best to keep the kid in class. As a parent I have a kid who public school has failed (behavior wise) and special ed school has failed (academics). I hereby give up.
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shaqued_almond
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Wed, Apr 19 2023, 1:45 pm
| amother OP wrote: | How do you deal with your child when he comes home?
It's happened twice this year. |
Maybe your son should write the teacher a letter to apologize. Brainstorm with your kid how DC can make learning more fun for himself without being disruptive. The fact that he's bored is not necessarily the problem. The problem is how he chooses to deal with his boredom.
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