Anyone else feel theyr too young and not mature enough to ha

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Mon, May 08 2023, 6:41 am

To have kids??

Is it just my yetzer hora when things are going bad?

Some day I just feel so overwhelmed.
What one earth am I doing being responsible for 3 kids when Im barely grown up myself?

I dont have the maturity or knowledge to raise them.

Who decided Im ready?

Just because I have kids doesnt mean I know what Im doing.

Some days I cant beleive Im even a mother.

Having kids doesnt make you more mature or sensible or a stronger person.

It doesnt just come with it.

Can anyone relate?
It feels so lonely and such a drag some times.

Like what Am I even doing?

And then I imagine if other moms ever think this way, and I feel like an abnormality.

amother

DarkYellow

Mon, May 08 2023, 7:00 am

Yes. I had my first before I was ready. It was incredibly traumatic and I am still processing (child is a teen). After that, I didn't ask for a heter and had my kids when I felt ready and it has been a different experience entirely.

amother

DarkOrange

Mon, May 08 2023, 7:08 am

Yes!!!

amother

Zinnia

Mon, May 08 2023, 7:12 am

Yes! I hate that I started having kids so young. Dumbest decision of my life but our community stupidly encourages it.

amother

Seagreen

Mon, May 08 2023, 7:28 am

Yes! totally relate. I could have written your post.

amother

Hyssop

Mon, May 08 2023, 7:29 am

Yes! And now that my kids are grownup adults, I feel like they are getting older and sometimes more mature than I actually am lol.

But I definitely grew with them over the years.

amother

Holly

Mon, May 08 2023, 8:11 am

Sometimes I feel like I had mine too late and I would’ve had more energy for it had I been younger. It goes both ways.

amother

Babyblue

Mon, May 08 2023, 8:32 am

I honestly never felt that way. I wanted to be a mother my entire life!! I had my first at 22 and wished it could have been earlier. I can’t say that I’m not overwhelmed at times and don’t always parent properly, but they are my pride and joy and I love being their mother. It’s definitely who I was meant to be

amother

Burntblack

Mon, May 08 2023, 8:32 am

I feel that maturity is recognizing the need to ask others for advice. Raising a family was never suppose to be just the mother with dad occasionally helping. Even in my grandmother's time families still cohabitation. I feel that my youngest sisters biggest issue is that she wants to do it all by herself. Society has convinced many people that getting help makes you less capable and weak.

giftedmom

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:09 am

Sometimes in new situations it feels weird to be the adult and like someone else should be handling it. Like when it comes to big medical decisions, or school meetings, or stuff like that. But in day to day life bh I feel like I did grow along with my kids. In some ways I was never a kid or teen and was always mature, and in other ways I was a really dumb first time mother.

amother

Seashell

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:20 am

aahm, burntblack, the definition of "cohabitation" is "the state of living together and having a s*xual relationship without being married." Pretty sure that what you meant is a "multigenerational household."

amother

Bisque

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:23 am

Having and raising kids forces you to mature. If not for my kids, I doubt I would have worked to improve myself. As much as marriage is a middos machine, having kids is like going through the machine on express.

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