Dd doesn’t care about school work

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:12 pm

What do I do? She is very capable but soo not interested in studying. Should I push her, motivate her, bribe her to study and try?
Or do I just let her be and if she gets 60s who cares?

If I bribe her she can get 90-100s. I’m just running out of things to bribe her with.
Her test marks are either great or awful depending on if she studied hard or not.

She’s in 8th grade

amother

Gladiolus

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:14 pm

My daughter doesn't like one of her teachers and basically lost patience with that teacher. She doesn't put in effort or care. I made a deal with her, promised her a major incentive of she's going to put in effort and do her best.

amother

Anemone

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:15 pm

You should absolutely not be bribing her
The motivation needs to come from within.
Eventually it will come back to bite her and she'll realize what she needs to do.

amother

Whitesmoke

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:20 pm

My DD is the same. If she cares she gets 90s and up, if she doesn't, she gets 70s.

Honestly, I feel like it's her own responsibility. I do stress the importance of doing your best and giving it your all, but sometimes she simply doesn't care. She's in 9th grade. I wouldn't bribe

amother

Honeydew

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:22 pm

She’s already accepted to high school, right?

Senioritis. It’s May already.

amother

Copper

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:26 pm

I would leave her alone. School and studying is so overrated.

Honestly school is so boring. Would you want to study hours and hours of boring subjects after sitting and listening to boring lectures a whole day?
I was a top student and I got straight A's, but school and studying was just so painfully boring. I have a lot of self discipline and cared about getting good marks so I forced myself to study. But I probably should have chilled out a little more.

My kids are young, early elementary but I look at them and feel so bad for the schooling they have ahead of them.

BrisketBoss

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:27 pm

Bribing for grades is basically a bribe on top of another bribe.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:38 pm

Sounds pretty typical for an eight grader. She will probably shape up in high school. And at her age, bribing is pointless.

giftedmom

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:47 pm

Why on earth would you bribe a 14 year old? And why is everyone pretending there is a rhyme or reason to this? That marks matter? They don’t. I got abysmal marks in some subjects and straight A’s in others. No one cares.

amother

Raspberry

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:11 pm

I never cared about schoolwork

BH I have a solid career (masters degree)

Grades just didn’t matter to me. They still don’t

mushkamothers

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:22 pm

1. Literally who cares (I have a masters and taught in high school)

2. If there's natural consequences then she'll feel them and suffer and learn on her own

3. Are you sure there's no executive functioning issue here where she actually can't get her act together or plan her time - inattentive adhd looks like this in girls

amother

Gladiolus

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:23 pm

For those saying who cares, schools care.....

mushkamothers

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:26 pm

amother Gladiolus wrote:

For those saying who cares, schools care.....

I dont believe in the whole school model unfortunately. There's also tons of research about how homework is ineffective and even detrimental.

amother

Gladiolus

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:38 pm

mushkamothers wrote:

I dont believe in the whole school model unfortunately. There's also tons of research about how homework is ineffective and even detrimental.

I agree that homework is detrimental, but unfortunately no one cares about our opinion.
I think that if a teacher must give homework, then they're not teaching the material well enough.

giftedmom

Wed, May 17 2023, 1:30 am

amother Gladiolus wrote:

For those saying who cares, schools care.....

Then let them worry about it instead of a mother running out of bribes. I mean I hate the idea of bribes in general but for this??

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