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If you don't have a primary school for your daughter.



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 10:29 am
If you don't have a primary school for your daughter could you please PM me. I am just trying to understand the situation a bit better and what schools most girls are looking to apply to. I know as of a few weeks ago there were about 38 girls still not accepted into a school.

Last edited by amother on Thu, May 18 2023, 10:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:11 am
Do you mean primary class or something else?
Where did you hear the number 38?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:12 am
Primary class, yes.
I heard directly from the Vaad.


Last edited by amother on Thu, May 18 2023, 10:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:14 am
eagle wrote:
Primary class, yes.
I heard directly from the Vaad.


So why do you need mothers to pm you?

Eta are you opening a school?


Last edited by keym on Wed, May 17 2023, 11:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Blueberry


 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:18 am
PMing means revealing who we are - and this is a sensitive painful topic. It feels like I failed somehow as a mother, and now I have to tell you who I am.

Also, not all Imas in Lakewood are here on this website...
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:20 am
amother Blueberry wrote:
PMing means revealing who we are - and this is a sensitive painful topic. It feels like I failed somehow as a mother, and now I have to tell you who I am.

Also, not all Imas in Lakewood are here on this website...


HUGS. Please don't feel that. It's so not your fault.
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amother
Dustypink


 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:20 am
Why cant you ask the vaad where those families applied?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:23 am
No judgements, my daughter wasn't accepted as well. I have been in touch with the Vaad for many many weeks now. I don't want to start having a public discussion regarding schools in the neighborhood and preferred to discuss options privately.

Last edited by amother on Thu, May 18 2023, 10:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Blueberry


 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:32 am
Chayalle wrote:
HUGS. Please don't feel that. It's so not your fault.


I appreciate that, but it is my job to take care of my kids and make sure all their needs are met, including school. Of course it feels like I failed - if I was less down about it now I would say instead that they're not in a school yet, but for now it feels like I failed.

I'm just davening that this humiliation of it all should be a zechus to get all of our kids into school - my children and all others whose kids don't have a place yet!
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mig100




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:45 am
amother Blueberry wrote:
I appreciate that, but it is my job to take care of my kids and make sure all their needs are met, including school. Of course it feels like I failed - if I was less down about it now I would say instead that they're not in a school yet, but for now it feels like I failed.

I'm just davening that this humiliation of it all should be a zechus to get all of our kids into school - my children and all others whose kids don't have a place yet!


oh my . no way. how on earth did YOU fail??

If anything the community failed you.

oy so hard to feel that way. you did nothing wrong.

davening that you should find a place very soon
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amother
Dustypink


 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:47 am
eagle wrote:
No judgements, my daughter wasn't accepted as well. I have been in touch with the Vaad for many many weeks now. I don't want to start having a public discussion regarding schools in the neighborhood and preferred to discuss options privately.
OK that makes sense. You didn't explain who you were in your op.
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anotherone




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:51 am
eagle wrote:
If you don't have a primary school for your daughter could you please PM me. I am just trying to understand the situation a bit better and what schools most girls are looking to apply to. I know as of a few weeks ago there were about 38 girls still not accepted into a school.
it doesn't matter how many kids aren't in school (please don't take this as harsh, don't want you more upset). Would it make you feel better that it's only you, 100 , any random number? Not to invalidate you, but by reaching out to other parents you can hurt yourself even more. What if they get in suddenly? What if they have pull you don't? Work on your issue, and don't bother with others -Vaad will hopefully help you and I will daven for your kid to get in. the thing is -it might be not about you, and all these kids might be looking to get into totally different schools, and they might not be in for totally different reasons. Might be nothing personal, and nothing wrong with you, just victims of Lakewood school machine. Please don't take personally, and I really will daven for resolution for you ! (Not sure how it helps, but we can only try).it's same as saying "there are thousands of older singles in shiduchim". I feel bad for them all, but each has it's own story. You will hopefully get in school soon, and all other kids, too be ezrat Hashem.

Last edited by anotherone on Wed, May 17 2023, 11:57 am; edited 2 times in total
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 11:54 am
The previous comment was hurtful to me, I only mean well.
I personally see it as a logistical problem and not a reflection on my family.
I opened this thread because I was curious if other mothers might be open to sending to Ohr Devora if a nice group of girls were considering going. They have 10 girls for Primary for next year. I really really don't want this thread to become a discussion about schools. I do know that I wouldn't want my daughter to be 1 of 30 in a class. I make decisions according to what is best for my family and not how others will perceive me.


Last edited by amother on Thu, May 18 2023, 10:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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anotherone




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 12:02 pm
eagle wrote:
The previous comment was hurtful to me, I only mean well.
I personally see it as a logistical problem and not a reflection on my family.
I opened this thread because I was curious if other mothers might be open to sending to Ohr Devora if a nice group of girls were considering going. They have 10 girls for Primary for next year. I really really don't want this thread to become a discussion about schools. I do know that I wouldn't want my daughter to be 1 of 30 in a class. I make decisions according to what is best for my family and not how others will perceive me.
. If my comment, I didn't mean to hurt anyone, and actually want to tell every person here that the school rejection is crazy and none should feel they failed as mothers if kid wasn't accepted to school. It's very painful topic, and many went through this, once you get in, you realize how it can be not relevant to anything personal. I want to wish every mother who didn't find a place for kid sincere hatzlaha and that it should go without pain and hurt feelings. We went through it and many tears were shed, and bh got happy resolution at the end, and Vaad was supportive and nice. What I meant to say, and you explained the reason for finding out about others very well, that finding about who didn't get accepted is helpful when it's about something practical. When we didn't get into school of our choice initially, other people who got it in were like a knife in my heart, them talking about pull was so hard, and it was super emotional for me. I didn't discuss this with anyone besides people who could help me get in. I didn't mean to hurt you, we went through it and a lot of aggravation was experienced from other people telling me where they are accepted (while I wasn't still). From own experience know that discussing with others school rejection is only a good idea when you want to organize something for everyone, otherwise there is a big chance to come out more hurt. I was super super hurt when I couldn't get into school,and ppl around me were so easily accepted where I wanted to go and was rejected .......it's really painful, bh I'm another few years from high school and mesivta rejection issue, it was very hard for me to get into school in primary. Hopefully everyone soon will be over and in the right place. I meant to not "bother with others" only to prevent OP from chance of being more hurt from other people, it is painful to be the only one left without school, and it is painful to be one of 50 without school. All these kinderlach and their parents are presumably good valuable people.


It wasn't clear why you need others to reach out to you, it is clear after your post. I also mixed you up with a person who said she feels like she failed, and post was addressed at her. You are right that it's a logistic issue, it is exactly it.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 3:04 pm
amother Blueberry wrote:
I appreciate that, but it is my job to take care of my kids and make sure all their needs are met, including school. Of course it feels like I failed - if I was less down about it now I would say instead that they're not in a school yet, but for now it feels like I failed.

I'm just davening that this humiliation of it all should be a zechus to get all of our kids into school - my children and all others whose kids don't have a place yet!


Honey, that's Hashem's job, not yours. You can only do your best to meet their needs according to things that are in your control. This isn't. So you haven't failed.

When I didn't get into seminary on round 1, one of my teachers told me that it's good to experience rejection...and that B"EH now that I experienced it, I should never have to experience it again. She wished me this for shidduchim, etc....She said it says "Kol Haneshama Tehallel Kah" and mefarshim explain that this means we have to serve Hashem with every type of feeling and emotion. So she said now that I served him from a place of pain and rejection, I should never have that again.

I'm passing this on to you. May you never experience anything like this again. BEH this daughter should get into school, and then sail thru to high school, seminary, shidduchim, etc....and never have to go thru this again.
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amother
Blueberry


 

Post Wed, May 17 2023, 3:24 pm
Chayalle wrote:
Honey, that's Hashem's job, not yours. You can only do your best to meet their needs according to things that are in your control. This isn't. So you haven't failed.

When I didn't get into seminary on round 1, one of my teachers told me that it's good to experience rejection...and that B"EH now that I experienced it, I should never have to experience it again. She wished me this for shidduchim, etc....She said it says "Kol Haneshama Tehallel Kah" and mefarshim explain that this means we have to serve Hashem with every type of feeling and emotion. So she said now that I served him from a place of pain and rejection, I should never have that again.

I'm passing this on to you. May you never experience anything like this again. BEH this daughter should get into school, and then sail thru to high school, seminary, shidduchim, etc....and never have to go thru this again.


Amein, thank you Heart
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:55 am
OP should I still be davening that your daughter gets into school?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 26 2023, 12:02 pm
Thank you so much.
At this point I am getting very comfortable with the idea of sending my daughter to Ohr Devora. After many conversations with other mothers regarding schools in the neighborhood I do think it could be the best option for us. You can daven for me to have clarity on the issue. Thanks!
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