I just give up… | Imamother

613mitzvahgirl

Tue, May 23 2023, 12:10 pm

I’m at wits end.. all the company I wanted for Yontiff went completely out the front door.. it’s really hard.. it really is..I’m seeing all of these fancy dishes and fancy ideas and mine seem so bleak.. I want to make all these things, but I have no emotional energy right now to do it.. I wrote a few days ago about the ppl we invited.. the one that was supposed to see who else invites her just told me this morning- oh I forgot to tell you, I’m not going to be home for Yontiff, I’m going out of state for Yontiff.. mind you, key words- oh I forgot to tell you, mind you she only lives next door.. my kids keep asking me every day, whose coming for Yontiff.. I just tell them I’m working on it.. then my husband tells me he wants to go to his chavrusah -Bc his relatives are going to be there.. I told him, I don’t feel comfortable asking them, and believe me- I don’t at all like his chavrusahs wife and kids.. the last time we were there was in Succos..his wife was in such a horrible mood and couldn’t stop screaming at him snd her kids, and she wouldn’t dare talk to me and my kids.. I tried, but she kept running to the kitchen for something or other.. what do I do

amother

Wine

Tue, May 23 2023, 12:34 pm

oh no, this sounds so hard!! Just want to validate. Will try to respond more soon, but running now.

Also this was posted in cleaning/laundry and with a vague title. You would get more responses I'm sure if you changed either of those. I thought this was going to be a thread on trouble managing laundry...

zaq

Tue, May 23 2023, 12:43 pm

1. Take a deep breath.
2. Decide you're going to have a nice family-only Yomtov.
3. Inform the family of #2.
4. Select one or two extra-nice dishes that you don't normally serve .Hint: store-bought ice cream or cheesecake counts. Or you can solicit ideas from the crew for homemade items.
5. Select one or two decor items you don't normally bother with. Hint: get the kids to make them. Paper "reyzalach"--like the lacy snowflakes they make in Grade 1, except using colored paper--were a traditional Shavuot decoration a few generations past. Origami flowers work, too. You can find origami instructions online. http://www.origami-instruction......html
6. Buy some real flowers to go on the table. Hint: Husbands can be assigned this task.
7. Look up some divrei Torah online--try YUTorah, Aish or Chabad for starters--and print out to read aloud or discuss at the table or after the meal. https://www.yutorah.org/togo/shavuot/
8. Enjoy your family-only YT.