Is this a normal request? Michelle watch

camp123

Wed, May 24 2023, 1:48 am

youngmother6 wrote:

Because a popular girl could set a trend and make a change. I would tell her that she can make a difference and by her not going with the social trends it will help other struggling girls who also may not have the ‘In thing’. If my daughter was a leader in the class I would treat it differently than if my daughter was on the sidelines.

No, I don’t think a watch would cause my daughter to have a meaningful friendship but it’s the bigger picture in my eyes. A struggling child is not in a place to effect change in her class. While a cool, popular girl may be. חנוך לנער על פי דרכו.

Totally agree with this. There can not be a one size fits all answer. Don't make a nebech girl into more of a nebech if its really true that nearly everyone has one, she probably needs it too. But, a confident girl, doing well with lots of friends you can teach her to stand up to the rediculous expectations. Know your child and what they can handle.

amother

Camellia

Wed, May 24 2023, 2:35 am

If you’re willing to buy her an expensive watch, look on eBay. I got one for my daughter for $149- new.
Not saying that I agree with the craziness …sometimes for a specific child you have to do things you wouldn’t necessarily do for others

amother

SandyBrown

Wed, May 24 2023, 3:11 am

My daughter received a Michelle watch as a Bat Mitzvah gift from her aunt and uncle and also the Tiffany bracelet mentioned above from another close relative. She wore them both very briefly and they have remained in her drawer since then (where they probably are today). Maybe one day she will have a daughter who will wear them. Don't stress if this is not something in your budget. This is a $500-2000+ gift for a 14 year old. I do like the creative solution of buying on ebay if you really feel she wants it or finding something else that is pretty but inexpensive. I wouldn't go into debt for this occasion and yes, it's important for an 8th grader to understand concepts like what a family can afford. Recommending a beautiful card and a nice cake to make her feel celebrated and then a gift that is more reasonable for your finances.

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, May 24 2023, 3:31 am

Am I the only one who has an issue with a request for a gift of any sort?

I have told my kids we don't ask for gifts. If offered to choose one, we can then express our wishes but I can't imagine my kids at that age requesting a graduation gift!

For my boys I got the travel hat boxes (it was new when my oldest graduated and my second son only turned 13 in the middle of 8th grade). I felt like they reached a milestone, a new stage in life, and I wanted to give a gift expressing that.... They were headed off to Yeshiva, let me give them something to help them with that step.

My daughter I put together a minimal makeup bag. I bought a bag, got mascara, lip gloss, tinted moisturizer, blush, and neutral eye shadow. (I think that's it but don't remember offhand.) She had wanted to wear a drop of makeup to graduation and I felt like it was a good age to give her a starting set of her own. She was very appreciative and again it was honoring her becoming one step closer to a young woman.

I myself have never owned a watch that was as expensive as a Michele. Why would I give a 13/14 yo one?

amother

Camellia

Wed, May 24 2023, 4:29 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Most BY type schools do not allow makeup at that age

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, May 24 2023, 5:48 am

She hasn't worn it since except for a chassuna. It was more the idea of owning it (absolutely nothing heavy make-up like in the set. Clear lip gloss and mascara I think is what she wore because her friends were. Not sure it was even visible but made her feel good!)
I would much rather BY not allow watches with hundreds of dollars than that.

Chayalle

Wed, May 24 2023, 5:49 am

I have 3 daughters who survived graduating 8th grade, and went on to high school (including a current 9th grader) without Michelle watches. In Lakewood. I give it to you on good authority that it's quite possible, OP.

Just tell her it's not in your budget. You can even tell her it's not in your values. I have said the same regarding Aviator Nation sweatshirts, and we are surviving that just fine.

keym

Wed, May 24 2023, 5:55 am

amother Camellia wrote:

Most BY type schools do not allow makeup at that age

Rephrase.
Most BY type intown East Coast schools don't allow makeup.

I don't know how to quote several posters.
But Hashem Yaazor, I don't assume that OPs daughter is being greedy. I assumed that there was conversation, maybe OP is even talking about a graduation present, and her daughter is coming and asking for something specific beyond the budget.

Also some families do things, budget differently than others. I read here that some families encourage their kids to request their "extras" as gifts for occasions- birthday, graduation, Chanuka as opposed to other families that do teenage budget differently.

I just don't think it's a good idea to encourage bad feelings and a wedge between OP and her daughter by pointing out that her daughter has such chutzpa for asking.

amother

Trillium

Wed, May 24 2023, 6:00 am

My daughter is 12. She has learned that jewelry is about how it looks. She is thrilled with the faux pearls my mother in law gave her for her bas mitzva. If she wants a watch I will find one in our budget. End of story. Just like we went to a gmach for a gown for her bas mitzva that was in our price range. Because this is the time to teach them. I only got her a gown because it was important to her and sends a message. That she has approached a milestone. But within budget.

watergirl

Wed, May 24 2023, 6:02 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

I myself have never owned a watch that was as expensive as a Michele. Why would I give a 13/14 yo one?

Same. It’s a thing in some communities where young girls, and then young married women in their early 20s walk around wearing more jewelry at one time than your average 50 year old has in their entire collection.

I hope everyone enjoys and values what they have!

amother

Camellia

Wed, May 24 2023, 7:05 am

The watch is considered a piece of jewelry. Obviously you can tell the same time on a $10 watch.
If you would be okay buying your daughter a piece of jewelry for $150 then buy the watch. It’s in style now and what girls are wearing. If this is not in your budget or you don’t like it for whatever reason, ask her to choose something else.

amother

Ghostwhite

Wed, May 24 2023, 7:18 am

camp123 wrote:

Totally agree with this. There can not be a one size fits all answer. Don't make a nebech girl into more of a nebech if it’s really true that nearly everyone has one, she probably needs it too. But, a confident girl, doing well with lots of friends you can teach her to stand up to the rediculous expectations. Know your child and what they can handle.

Yes, my daughter has a hard time making friends because she is so shy, and I make sure she has all the newest trends that she wants because I know it’s important socially at this age.

amother

Camellia

Wed, May 24 2023, 7:32 am

amother Olive wrote:

These cost more than my husband’s chosson watch! What world are these children living in?!

How much was your husband’s chosson watch?
These cost around $200. I bought for $149 on sale.
18 years ago my husband’s solid gold chosson watch was $1200- probably worth a lot more now…

amother

Olive

Wed, May 24 2023, 7:39 am

amother Camellia wrote:

How much was your husband’s chosson watch?
These cost around $200. I bought for $149 on sale.
18 years ago my husband’s solid gold chosson watch was $1200- probably worth a lot more now…

$400-500. I was looking on the Michele website and they’re all $500+

amother

Peru

Wed, May 24 2023, 7:42 am

I am honest with my kids. We can't afford it choose something else. And also I teach them that we don't have to do something just because others are. So many important life lessons can be learned here. But no I never go into debt because my child wants to copy some girls. ( and it's some because nothing is ever everyone )

little neshamala

Wed, May 24 2023, 7:43 am

amother OP wrote:

In all seriousness, if you couldn’t afford st your child asked for what would you do?

Use it as an opportunity to make your child into a better future adult! This is exactly how we create healthy adults who can make logical financial decisions even when "everyone else is doing it".

amother

Camellia

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:11 am

I did buy for my daughter… but if I couldn’t afford it I wouldn’t tell them straight out.
Instead I would say something like - they cost $200! That’s so much for a watch… they will usually agree because it’s the truth.
I’ve had to turn down requests in the past. I never wanted them to feel stressed or inferior that we couldn’t afford things. (Maybe because that’s how I grew up)