Is this a normal request? Michelle watch

Chayalle

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:16 am

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

Yes, my daughter has a hard time making friends because she is so shy, and I make sure she has all the newest trends that she wants because I know it’s important socially at this age.

If I had a daughter like that, I'd pursue every avenue I could to build her internal world (perhaps with therapy, etc...) before just piling on the externals.
I do believe in my girls fitting in at a normal standard, with the clothes they need, etc....but IMVHO all the newest trends really is a short-term bandaid, and does not build the inner world. It just creates someone who keeps needing accessories while trying to be happy. It creates an unhealthy dynamic as she grows into adulthood.
I don't see the newest trends being enough to help socially if the confidence is missing....

amother

Ghostwhite

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:19 am

Chayalle wrote:

Trust me we’ve been pursuing every avenue to help her with that. This is just an extra.

Chayalle

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:30 am

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

Trust me we’ve been pursuing every avenue to help her with that. This is just an extra.

OK great then. It's just I've come across people who are convinced that "things" will help, and they never explore the root causes.

amother

Grape

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:30 am

youngmother6 wrote:

It is a normal request.
That doesn’t mean you need to say yes. For me it would depend on my child do they need that extra push of a special gift? Are they having trouble fitting in. For a child that is well adjusted and is popular I probably would not buy it and find a nice watch that’s not a brand. For a child that is struggling either socially and/or academically I would get it if I could afford it. You can get it for cheaper at last call, off fifth, and Woodbury type stores.
Good luck!

just be careful that your well adjusted child doesn’t feel short changed. I was the good kid who did well in school (because I was extremely studious and conscientious) , behaved, never asked for things etc.
my sister with the same smarts as me didn’t feel the need to study or behave in class so she got average grades. She was constantly asking my parents for stuff and I think my parents felt that it would be good to buy it for her as an incentive or whatever. It bothered me that she got all this cool stuff and I didn’t. Like she is lazy and gets rewarded and I work hard and don’t get rewarded. And ironically she had more friends than I did. It’s not that I needed the stuff for my social standing but neither did she. I happen to like nice clothes or cool gadgets for myself.

amother

Beige

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:34 am

amother Grape wrote:

I relate to this and am similar in my way. But at the same time, looking back as an adult, I don't think I lost out being the child that didn't demand so didn't get all the "things". My sister who did get all the stuff (because my parents were afraid of her, she had friends on the fringe and my parents wanted to keep her on-the-derech) isn't such a happy adult. She still needs all the things to make her happy, and it affects her current relationships.

essie14

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:48 am

amother OP wrote:

In all seriousness, if you couldn’t afford st your child asked for what would you do?

I would buy her whatever I could afford. You can give her whatever you can and let her pay for the rest with her own money. She can work all summer if that's what she wants.
My parents couldn't afford A LOT of things that I wanted when I was a teenager.
I had everything I needed and if I wanted something badly enough I paid for it myself.

amother

Camellia

Wed, May 24 2023, 9:23 am

amother Lemon wrote:

I don't have a Michele watch and I'm a senior citizen!

Well, neither do I but that’s because it’s not important to me. (I’m 51 and I’m wearing a watch I bought from Amazon)
I did buy one for my daughter because it was important to her…

mfb

Wed, May 24 2023, 2:38 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

If you can afford it and she's responsible then go for it. I scraped the money together because we couldn't afford it but felt it was justified at the time. She lost it a couple of weeks later.

That must have been hard

amother

Butterscotch

Wed, May 24 2023, 4:12 pm

amother Beige wrote:

This is very true. The resilience I developed serves me a lot better than had I gotten everything I ever asked for.