What is an unnecessary expense for a wedding?

amother

DarkPurple

Wed, May 24 2023, 4:42 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

I only found out about hoodies after two weddings and the kidushin was still chal
Sometimes it’s not about doing with out but choosing a lower price point.
Invitations for example- basic basic basic
A wedding dresser I don’t need at all
Makeup and hair people come at a variety of prices
A mecheteniste dress I was told should cost 2,000 dollars but my 100 dollar dress from macys worked fine.
A limo for the couple is not needed
Music doesn’t need to be the top of the line guy ****
But:
The most costly thing is to fight with mechutanim
And it’s your couples night if there is something specific that they need to feel the magic do it
Ie.. if they want to go home in a horse drawn carriage or whatever do it
I had no photography or bentchers at my wedding 25 years later it still bothers me
And the magical wedding dress I wore still makes me smile

My mechutanim insisted on alcohol, a limo, wanted a hotel for the wedding night (I said no), specific music and I just went with it. You can unilaterally decide to not be crazy and the other side will completely not agree. Not okay with that kind of stress. It was actually a takana wedding- music allowed because they don’t have any chassidish options in house. Alcohol was extra in any case.

amother

DarkPurple

Wed, May 24 2023, 4:43 pm

amother Blushpink wrote:

I was gonna say the same

Also those silly hoodies that everyone ‘needs’ to wear

Maybe you think they’re silly and I think they’re fun. And I have a cricut and designed them myself.

amother

Jasmine

Wed, May 24 2023, 6:09 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

Maybe you think they’re silly and I think they’re fun. And I have a cricut and designed them myself.

If there was no peer pressure to do this, would you have ever, in your whole life, thought to do this on your own?

I highly doubt it.

You know why? Cuz they are not NECESSARY...

amother

Cognac

Wed, May 24 2023, 6:11 pm

I wouldn't want a wedding dresser for myself, but it would be really helpful to have someone on top of making sure all the kids are properly dressed, deal with hair falling out of clips crises, and can't-find-my-tights crises. I'd sooner pay for that than for flowers.

acemom

Wed, May 24 2023, 6:12 pm

amother Junglegreen wrote:

is that a thing. never even heard of that?

When you pay someone to help everyone get dressed and take care of last minute alterations, errands etc.

(All of those that had family or friends assisting had a "dresser" just as well. They just didn't pay for it. Not everybody has the family and friends to help them.)

amother

DarkPurple

Wed, May 24 2023, 6:23 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

If there was no peer pressure to do this, would you have ever, in your whole life, thought to do this on your own?

I highly doubt it.

You know why? Cuz they are not NECESSARY...

They aren’t. But they’re fun.

Amarante

Wed, May 24 2023, 6:41 pm

amother Quince wrote:

The little tchotchkes (favors) for guests to take home - little candles, cookies, photo frames, things like that. I find them every time I clean out a random drawer in a desk or nightstand - they're just clutter. We didn't have them at our wedding and I don't think anyone minded.

I just read an article on weddings and what guests like.

Guests actively HATED the tchotchkes because they didn’t want them; didn’t need them but took them home and felt guilty about throwing them out so they just became annoying clutter 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

zaq

Wed, May 24 2023, 6:52 pm

ROFL wrote:

What do you mean by a hoodie ?

A neie mishegaas, a sweatshirt "personalized" with the name/s of the kallah and/or guests, or "Chedvah and Chanoch's Chasunah," often in rhinestones or glitter. Theoretically for protecting your clothes while getting your hair and makeup done.

Highstrung

Wed, May 24 2023, 7:12 pm

BH Yom Yom wrote:

What is a wedding dresser??

It’s something you learn about on Instagram.
At least that’s where I discovered that it’s a “thing”. A personal assistant type of person who takes responsibility to dress the entire family the day of the wedding . She makes sure everyone is all set and photo ready. This is meant to take the headache off a baalas Simcha.

BH Yom Yom

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:01 pm

Highstrung wrote:

I don’t have Instagram, so I guess I’m learning about it on Imamother Very Happy

Thanks for explaining!

amother

Bronze

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:05 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

If there was no peer pressure to do this, would you have ever, in your whole life, thought to do this on your own?

I highly doubt it.

You know why? Cuz they are not NECESSARY...

I wore a "bride" sweatshirt over 8 years ago. Bought it from Victoria's secret I believe. It's always been a thing. Also I think I paid $20

amother

Blushpink

Wed, May 24 2023, 8:08 pm

amother Bronze wrote:

I wore a "bride" sweatshirt over 8 years ago. Bought it from Victoria's secret I believe. It's always been a thing. Also I think I paid $20

There not the same as custom hoodies for the entire family. One sweatshirt is not an expense. 5,10,20 is

amother

Burntblack

Wed, May 24 2023, 9:57 pm

Enlighten me as to the point of a "Bride" sweatshirt? Is it that cold in the wedding hall? I don't believe anyone is wearing one over her gown --the gown itself identifies her as the lady of the hour--nor do I believe anyone wears it to her outdoor chuppah.

Wolfsbane

Wed, May 24 2023, 10:05 pm

amother Burntblack wrote:

People wear them while they get their makeup done (since you can't wear a pullover top) and then keep them to wear around after.

GLUE

Thu, May 25 2023, 1:20 am

notshanarishona wrote:

Professional makeup for all family members
Buying a gown (vs rent or gemach)

Sometimes you can buy a gown that is cheaper then renting it and some of the gown gemach are the same or almost the same as renting it.