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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
First shabbaton



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 24 2023, 1:32 pm
So my son is in 6th grade and his school is participating in the Pirchei shabbaton coming up. This would be his first time away from home without family, he's only had one other sleepover before with a classmate. My son has had his developmental challenges but is otherwise a normal boy, but his speech sounds strange and he's a tad on the immature side. He's not a "behavior problem" but can get extra silly sometimes--as most boys can do. The rebbeim don't want other boys to "make fun of him" that don't know him. He is friendly with his classmates but doesn't really have good friends--he tends to be a loner and introverted.

What would you do as a mother in this situation? I don't think they are telling he can't/shouldn't go, but what am I supposed to tell them?
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amother
Heather


 

Post Wed, May 24 2023, 1:40 pm
I'm sorry that there's a need to prevent a child from being bullied in a shabbaton of frum boys.

Does your son want to go? If he does, then send him and tell the Rebbe it's on him to watch out for your son.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 24 2023, 2:33 pm
amother Heather wrote:
I'm sorry that there's a need to prevent a child from being bullied in a shabbaton of frum boys.

Does your son want to go? If he does, then send him and tell the Rebbe it's on him to watch out for your son.


I think he's not sure about the event. But he is a well-behaved boy usually and I think the opportunity is good for him. If I ask him, he'll likely be very shy and apprehensive about it.
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 24 2023, 11:08 pm
My daughter is similar! Very immature, silly, socially off. She does have ASD and ADHD diagnoses and physical issues, but.....

her first Shabbaton went VERY well! It was a girls only group of kids from a Jewish special needs organization---- about half the girls have special needs and half were typical and it was true integration.

The key was----

She felt ready and wanted to go.
She knew the other girls going and THEY wanted her to go.
It was a small group.


How large a group will this be and how many of the boys are ones he knows? How badly does he WANT to go? The boys with whom he's friendly--- have they asked him to come? Do THEY want him to come? If they're not seeming welcoming, and he is nervous, AND it's a big group, it might be a challenge even if there isn't bullying. As a kid that age, I didn't have special needs and I wasn't necessarily BULLIED perse, but I didn't feel wanted in those scenarios and tended to skip optional events---- school field trips were one thing, but optional stuff? eh. Whereas in high school when I joined youth groups and made more friends (middle school I didn't have a large group of friends) and those friends ASKED me to come to things, it was easier.
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