Won't sleep without being held

amother

Tangerine

Sun, May 28 2023, 11:08 am

amother OP wrote:

2 pediatricians and one pediatric nurse. Also a lactation consultant Smile

I feel pretty confident he's okay BH

Unfortunately, unless they are specifically trained, a lot of providers Miss hidden ties. Usually it’s certain speech therapists, dentists and ENTs with special training who can pick up on it.

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 11:16 am

amother Tangerine wrote:

Unfortunately, unless they are specifically trained, a lot of providers Miss hidden ties. Usually it’s certain speech therapists, dentists and ENTs with special training who can pick up on it.

If he has no symptoms of a tongue tie, expect not liking lying in his tummy (which could be for a lot of reasons), is it likely that he has one? Is not liking being on their stomach a defining symptom of tongue ties in infants?

amother

Tangerine

Sun, May 28 2023, 11:24 am

amother OP wrote:

There aren't always blatant, obvious symptoms, which is why it's often missed. But not liking being on their stomachs and also not sleeping well which can be a sign of a dysregulated nervous system can definitely point to some tightness which often starts in the mouth/tongue. Personally, I'd want it ruled in or out by someone literate, but obviously it's your choice as a parent to decide which route to go down.

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 11:26 am

amother Tangerine wrote:

I'll ask his pediatrician for a referral to someone who specializes in it, maybe an ent. Thanks for pointing out a possible cause!

Rappel

Sun, May 28 2023, 6:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

can we wrap him in a blanket even if we had to stop swaddling him (since he can roll over both directions)? our pediatrician told us its dangerous to restrain his arms in case he gets on him tummy and can't turn back over.
and we do hold him to sleep, but he could be totally asleep and once I put him down he wakes up Sad

BH he doesnt have reflux

Sure. Even leaving his arms free: the idea is that the pressure on his abdomen will remain even after you put him down, so he can't tell the difference.

AlwaysGrateful

Sun, May 28 2023, 6:16 pm

I know you don't want to hear this...but pushing off sleep training until he naps better is like pushing off raking the leaves until you can see the grass better. Raking the leaves will HELP you see the grass; without raking, the grass will stay covered.

Sorry, crazy mashal, I'm just tired.

Sleep training at night helps during the day, and vice versa. When they learn to fall asleep on their own, it helps across the board.

monday

Sun, May 28 2023, 6:28 pm

OP my baby is acting exactly the same. Word for word. He is 6mo and I just don't feel like sleep training yet, I really want him to get a good night's sleep. I find that the outdoors really helps him nap better. So either I can spend 30 min holding him for a nap or we go for a walk and he gets very sleepy. We then transfer him immediately to his crib.

Let me know if you find any good sleep training methods. I don't know how to go about that.

the world's best mom

Mon, May 29 2023, 8:00 am

I'm holding my sleeping baby right now. It's frustrating to get nothing done, but I don't believe in sleep training.

Was your baby always like this? I think you wrote something about regression at 6 months old. If so, maybe he's teething. Maybe he has an ear infection. Maybe he's having a growth spurt. I would hate to think of the poor thing being sleep trained while he's in pain.

tichellady

Mon, May 29 2023, 8:31 am

my kids don't nap decently until around 7 months and then start napping well when they drop to one nap at around one year. it's just the way it is. and we do lots of sleep training. you can definitely work on sleep training without great naps

amother

Mon, May 29 2023, 9:00 am

Hes always been like this, and he sleeps great at night bh. Like 10 -12+ hours usually. I hear the bit about sleep training helping him nap, and it actually makes a lot of sense. I just feel personally like 6 months in too young to sleep train. Maybe thats not correct but knowing my baby thats how I feel.

agreer

Mon, May 29 2023, 9:19 am

6 months isn't too young for sleep training - it's ideal!

The older the baby, the harder it is.

If he's eating enough during the day, and he's already sleeping 12 hrs at night, there is no reason to wait to wean him off being rocked.

tichellady

Mon, May 29 2023, 9:31 am

amother OP wrote:

you don't have to sleep train him. naps may get better on their own with time

amother

Magenta

Mon, May 29 2023, 9:36 am

amother OP wrote:

I’ve never officially “sleep trained” a baby in my life. Your baby, your choice. I do have my systems that I work on from when they’re 4-5 months old, like I don’t nurse them to sleep but rather put them down when they’re drowsy, and I don’t rock them , but I am there to provide comfort and care if needed. I wouldn’t get the snoo Etc. for similar reasons. I also keep an eye on the clock and their ideal time frames of being awake (different for each stage) so I can put them to sleep before they get overtired.
some babies do need to be taught some good sleeping habits, but I don’t let my babies cry themselves to sleep. Ever. You do you.

amother

Black

Mon, May 29 2023, 10:40 am

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for all the replies! Id love to do baby carrying, but he's so heavy so its hard for me to carry him for all of his naps. And beH we will start sleep training, just first we want to make sure he can get sufficient sleep during the day before trying to "wean" him off needing to be rocked to sleep.
So today we just tried to put him down for every nap. The first nap he slept literally 8 minutes, the second around 25, the third around 30. Obviously that isn't enough sleep for the day for a 6 month old. So is it better to have him have a few sleepless days and learn to nap in his crib or just hold him? I'm trying to think long term about his sleep habits but he was so grumpy today it was hard to keep my resolve Sad

I’d say better to hold him- he needs to sleep! 8 minutes is not enough and that will make him way more cranky. You’re not creating any bad habits. There’s no such thing as bad habits with a baby. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

amother

Black

Mon, May 29 2023, 10:41 am

amother OP wrote:

If he’s sleeping great at night then just leave it… naps naturally get longer as they get older around the 6-7 month mark so you’re right there..

amother

Cognac

Mon, May 29 2023, 10:54 am

6 months is totally fine for sleep training (worked like a charm for us at that age) but everyone needs to find a time and method that works for them, so do some reading and figure out what works for you and start when you are ready.

amother

Mon, May 29 2023, 11:27 am

amother Magenta wrote:

These systems youre talking about are what I mean when I say sleep training. I dont believe in CIO but haven't decided exactly what im going to do yet. I want to teach him to fall sleep on his own without needing to be rocked. I also am very on top of his sleepy cues, but no matter how sleepy he is, when we put him down for a nap, he just doesn't stay asleep Sad

amother

Mon, May 29 2023, 11:30 am

amother Black wrote:

I'm not worried about him getting spoiled or anything like that, but I do think he needs to be taught to fall asleep on his own. That's not a natural skill (as far as I know) that babies are born with. So im trying to find a balance while also not letting him get too cranky, but also trying to help him learn to sleep without being held.

amother

Black

Mon, May 29 2023, 11:34 am

amother OP wrote:

So it is a natural skill. Babies don’t have to be taught how to sleep. It only teaches them not to cry out when they need help.

amother

Mon, May 29 2023, 11:41 am

amother Black wrote:

So it is a natural skill. Babies don’t have to be taught how to sleep. It only teaches them not to cry out when they need help.

I'm not here to debate the pros and cons of sleep training. As I said, I do not plan on letting my baby cry it out, I just want to teach him to self soothe. There are many ways to do that without leaving him on his own to cry. I'm glad your kids could nap and sleep well on their own, but the way my baby sleeps now during the day is not good for him or me so im trying to make healthy changes. No need to try and shame me for looking for advice for how to help him. You parent your way, ill parent mine.