How involved are you with your girls cycle?

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 11:08 am

Just took my 14 YO to the doc for a well check up where she mentioned to the doc that she hasn’t had her period all school year.

I am happy that she brought it up, but a little disappointed that I didn’t realize it’s been so long. She’s definitely been moody, and I thought she has been having it. Other daughters have it, so I don’t closely monitor stock etc. in general this area is something that I know I didn’t get enough guidance from my mother so want to make sure that I am being more open about these things. But how much should I have been involved at this point in checking in and making sure things are being tracked

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, May 28 2023, 11:10 am

My mom gave us a small calender and made us mark down which day period started then when it finished. She checked in from time to time....
Didn't feel intrusive yet she had it clear cut how I'm getting my cycles.

amother

Tangerine

Sun, May 28 2023, 11:11 am

After that initial time I have never asked.
My daughter knows my door is open.
Obviously initially it's always good to tell them what to expect in a healthy cycle so that they know when to come to you if it's not typical.
I do order pads, so I know that it's happening.

NechaMom

Sun, May 28 2023, 11:15 am

amother Tanzanite wrote:

Not at all. DD didn't even inform me when she started. I told my mother when I started and never discussed it with her after that.

Oh my! Your daughter didn’t tell you she got her period for the first time? How did you find out? I’m sure she could have used some guidance and support in the beginning!

amother

Ebony

Sun, May 28 2023, 11:27 am

NechaMom wrote:

Oh my! Your daughter didn’t tell you she got her period for the first time? How did you find out? I’m sure she could have used some guidance and support in the beginning!

One of my daughters didn't tell me. She has a number of learning disabilities and other special needs. I had been really nervous how she would handle her period when it arrived. Last July, a few days after a huge Simcha, my 11 1/2 year old daughter very unexpectedly got hers! While we were talking, my then 15 year old daughter piped up that she had started a few months before! I was shocked, relieved and so proud of her for handling it so well that I didn't even care she hadn't said anything. We have a lot of girls, so there's plenty of "period" talk and pads and advil all around!
Some of my girls are more chatty than others with me about. It's fine....whatever they are comfortable with!
Don't feel offended ....some girls just like their privacy!

exhausted

Sun, May 28 2023, 12:02 pm

To answer your question, I generally know when my daughters have their period because they are extra moody, are often complaining about cramps and sometimes take off school. I also buy the pads.

amother

Kiwi

Sun, May 28 2023, 1:20 pm

NechaMom wrote:

Oh my! Your daughter didn’t tell you she got her period for the first time? How did you find out? I’m sure she could have used some guidance and support in the beginning!

I never told my mother either. I preferred to handle it myself. Not all girls want guidance and support. I was 12, for reference. And my mom was very open with me, I just wanted my privacy.

amother

Snow

Sun, May 28 2023, 1:25 pm

not at all involved tho if they want to tell me something about it or how they are feeling that's another story...
I just make sure to leave product in the closet etc and they tell me their preferences for what they like to use

though yes if by 14 my dd hadn't gotten her period yes I would bring it up to dr but dr brought it up so all good and it is still well within the normal spectrum of time

amother

Phlox

Sun, May 28 2023, 1:49 pm

I don’t think you need to be very involved, but it’s important to tell them that if they have a longer break than usual, it can be concerning.

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 2:05 pm

K. Just wanted to check that I wasn’t being completely neglectful by not noticing this a whole year and not having my daughter bring it up to me before hand. The truth is I don’t think I would have made a special trip to the doc just for this.

amother

Smokey

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:05 pm

I tell my girls to clock their cycle and pay attention to length. I tell them the ped usually asks questions about frequency and duration. I buy them pads and other things when they need. I have a lot of girls.

amother

DarkYellow

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:26 pm

I always know when my kids are on their period. Not necessarily the second they get it, but at some point I hear abt their cramps, if they can take motrin again ("bc the bottle says to wait but my cramps are really bad...")... Sometimes they don't really need anything but just want sympathy or extra TLC. If they're a few days late they usually ask me if they need to worry and I reassure them it's ok. Some share more than others, but I would hear if s/o hadn't gotten their period in a long time. I'm surprsied how many imas said they don't talk abt it. I think being able to talk about this openly helps them deal with stresses involved ("I'm expecting it right around the time of our class trip!") and helps prevent shame or embarassment. Even my dh gets involved, running out late to restock motrin or reassuring them they can take more a little earlier than the bottle says if the pain is really bad.

amother

Tanzanite

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:39 pm

NechaMom, I assume my dd eventually got her period because she has a baby. She was a smart girl, presumably they got the lecture in school, I bought her "The Wonder of Becoming You" (which I don't think was all that useful, it's way too filmy and floaty and euphemistic) she was interested in science, and was more than able to do her own research if she wanted to. She wasn't the sort to want "guidance and support" from me in such matters, just as I neither received nor wanted "guidance and support" from my mother. The thought of my mother keeping track of or even knowing when I had my period fairly makes my skin crawl.

amother

DarkPurple

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:42 pm

I only have 1 dd who is menstruating. I generally keep track of her cycles, and it's hard to miss if she's about to get it or if she has it. Also, we're somewhat in sync, so that helps me remember to see if I notice if she's had her period recently. Sometimes I just ask her. Usually as an intro to ask if she has an inventory of the pads she likes or if she wants me to get more.

amother

Tanzanite

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:45 pm

amother DarkYellow wrote:

Even my dh gets involved, running out late to restock motrin or reassuring them they can take more a little earlier than the bottle says if the pain is really bad.

And your dds are ok with their dad being involved with their periods?

amother

DarkPurple

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:46 pm

amother Tanzanite wrote:

And your dds are ok with their dad being involved with their periods?

Why should a father not be involved?

He's their parent too.

Also, if cvs, I wasn't around, how could he parent if he wasn't aware of their cycles?

amother

Bisque

Sun, May 28 2023, 5:15 pm

very involved, the PMS is very obvious in their attitudes, grumpiness and moodiness. I buy the pads, make sure we are stocked with Advil, Aleve etc. My younger dd started late and is very random but that is because she is athletic and therefore it gets delayed so she only gets it quarterly I was never worried my DH was but I explained to DH that this happens with sporty, athletic, gymnast types so not to worry and I was right. (I know lucky her!) My older dd gets it more often but I know about it a week before.
It might be different as I grew up in an all girl household and it was quite noticeable amongst my siblings so I am used to being open and talking about it.