Awareness about parenting…and results

amother

Seafoam

Tue, May 30 2023, 5:49 am

amother OP wrote:

Well, I changed my mind.
Some of it was my nature, but other changes I’ve made is from awareness.

Awareness is a separate thing. That is when people have no idea about xyz and someone brings it to their attention. Based on your earlier post, it sounds like they have awareness but have applied their own excuses for it - I.e. the comment about attachment for young kids and that they believe the kids won't remember it.

You have to know your audience. No advice will be accepted if the people are not receptive to advice.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, May 30 2023, 5:54 am

As a child of severe dysfunction and neglect who has spent years trying to learn the best way to parent... Forget all these rules. Just love your kids. Truly love them. And build them up as people. If you do those two things then the rest doesn't matter.

Personally I think this generation is causing serious issues. I watch my friends who obsess over the correct parenting and are so busy following the rules you posted to a T. And their kids are now almost grown up and they are just a mess and dysfunctional. Not sure that they gained anything by never being left to cry for even a second, when their mother was too burnt out to focus on just being present and loving. Just focus on loving your kids and making sure they feel loved and know their self worth. The rest is all just noise. Do whatever works for you as long as you do it with love. ( obviously real abuse and neglect are not counted in do whatever works for you )

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, May 30 2023, 5:58 am

amother Bone wrote:

Can we please keep G-d in the picture?
You can do everything you possibly are able to and still struggle with your kids.

When I go to PTA for some of my kids I always hear how you can see how much we as parents invest, ow they're a real product of the home, they're bH doing so well.
Then I go for a different child. And I wonder if they can possibly be discussing the same family.

Anyone who has amazing children should say thank you. Not take the credit for it. It's extremely insulting to those of us who do everything you did plus more and are still struggling.

I have two kids ( only discussing these two because the others are average ) who are extremes, one is a perfect kid and student and the other keeps the teachers on their toes. I go to one pta and I'm told your daughter is so amazing it's all because you are an amazing parent. I go to the next one and they suggest parenting classes because I obviously broke my kid myself. I actually laughed and said funny because in my perfect kid's class I was told that I must be amazing so which one is it. The answer is it's none of it. I do my best and the rest is just the nature of my kids who are their own people and we cannot control it.