Ok for kids to teach the parent?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 1:02 am

My teens are very musical, and they play a few different instruments. They never had formal lessons but figured it out on their own with some help from friends.
My question is, would it be ok for me to ask them to teach it to me? I would love to play but never had the opportunity to learn. Just by watching them is not enough for me to learn it, I wish I could ask them to show me, but I’m just wondering if it’s wrong or inappropriate to ask a child?

amother

Nasturtium

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 1:16 am

I suspect if they figured it out on their own, they wouldn't know how to teach.

amother

Daisy

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 1:20 am

Why would it be inappropriate?
Ask them, see how they feel.
It could be a really fun way to spend quality time together

amother

Daffodil

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 1:22 am

amother OP wrote:

What on earth? Why would it be inappropriate?

My 5 year old taught me how to play chess. I asked him to, as I had never learned as a youngster. He did a great job and taught my mom as well!

Iymnok

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 2:49 am

I think that it builds confidence in the child.

imaima

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 3:07 am

Yes if it’s fun for both, zero pressure and doesn’t become a power struggle

singleagain

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 6:06 am

As long as no one becomes frustrated.

Some people don't teach/learn well to/from family members.

Just thinking about all those people who learned how to drive a car better from a professional and not a relative.

imasinger

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 6:33 am

You might want to keep it informal. "I love how you play guitar, can you show me how to do the first thing you learned? And do you mind if I borrow it to practice while you're at school?"

Then, later, "I think I've figured this out, do I have it right? What could I practice next?..."

amother

Yellow

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 8:35 am

Not only is it perfectly appropriate, it is also incredibly good for their self confidence and trust building.

PinkFridge

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 9:25 am

I think it's fine. If by some chance they get frustrated, or talk to like they would a peer, then drop it. With a smile, so they can go on enjoying it themselves.

zaq

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 9:32 am

Why not? You do know that when a family immigrates to a new country, the parents often learn the new language from the kids. And many kids teach their folks to use new technology. The joke goes if you don't know how to program a device, have your kid do it for you.

About the only thing I wouldn't have a kid teach a parent is the facts of life.

Last edited by zaq on Thu, Jun 01 2023, 9:42 am; edited 1 time in total

zaq

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 9:40 am

Bonding over band, family fingering, mother-daughter mandolin, father-son fiddle, baby-parent banjo... It's a beautiful thing!

amother

Moonstone

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 9:44 am

My DD taught me Excel.
Why would it not be OK?
Do you fear it might be parentifing if they are teaching you and not the other way around?

amother

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 10:48 am

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. It seems you all think it’s fine. I do worry because of the parent child dynamics. As it is I feel like my parenting is much more laissez faire and not authoritative so I wonder if asking them to teach me would be negating my role as the parent.

imasinger

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 11:02 am

I was told that children teaching parents is a sign that moshiach is coming soon.

PinkFridge

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 11:18 am

imasinger wrote:

I was told that children teaching parents is a sign that moshiach is coming soon.

Veheishiv lev avos al banim, etc.

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