Bar mitzvah boy | Imamother

amother

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 9:10 am

I'm not sure this is the right forum...but when I read another thread I started becoming guilty and want to change it! So here it goes!

I always teach my kids body safety and got the English books and read it to them often...and they all know bodies are private and no one can touch it bla bla

With that being said my son turned 13 and I have no clue how to talk to him...we are chasidish satmar family and my sisters would think I'm crazy if I talk to my kids so I never asked them....

Can anyone please guide me??? My son also has another issue, he has an unfiltered mouth so im afraid to talk to much...but I want to prevent se... abuse!!

amother

Chocolate

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 9:19 am

Better say too much than too little. I'm assuming he's old enough to go to the mikva by himself. Bring it up while you're preoccupied with something else and in a by-the-way manner just reiterate what you've told your kids so many times in the past. "Remember how we always talked about our bodies being private? There are crazy people that go to the mikva too so just make sure nobody touches you. If someone is looking at you creepily, or comes close enough to touch you, even an adult, tell them to stop. Nobody should ever touch you, we've spoken about this before..." Tell him you've heard stories and don't want him to become a statistic. He's 13. He can handle it.

amother

Orange

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 9:31 am

Here is an amazing resource provided by a frum psychologist for how to have the talk with boys. It’s written in the context of a program for Rabbeim to speak with the boys in school, but has all the content you need as a parent to speak to your child:

https://www.landacc.com/_files.....=true

amother

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 10:05 am

amother Chocolate wrote:

So before he started going to mikvah I made a rule, if only 1 person is inside he shouldn't go to the mikvah and rather not go at all...I've allowed him to skip mikvahs on random days (when he was to tired to get up on time) so as not to pressure himself into going (not sure what im doing is right but ok...) like sort of to prevent ocd with mikvah...

I also told him that some people look normal and then they touch other kids and you feel very violated (I even mentioned a known abuser to him that he knows and told him "see he looks normal yet a police report was filed because he pulls down kids pants and touches private parts) I was trying my best to be explicit...

Idk I feel sorry for myself that no one educates us, as parents...just like you talk of the danger of AI talk about this! how should we know to educate out kids???

amother

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 10:07 am

amother Orange wrote:

I read this...I wonder...are you satmar? Chasidish? I doubt parents talk to kids that way here and I wouldn't want my son to be expelled for exposing others