School uniform-skirt length issue

amother

Oldlace

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 9:46 pm

chestnut wrote:

How does she explain those knee length skirts she and others wore back then? She was farfrumpt and chassidishe back then already, right? How did they justify it and what changed?
We can't say they weren't careful enough with tznius back then.

I'm not sure, it was never really a discussion. Her family was definitely very farfrumt and chassidish.
My grandmother especially- and I have a picture of her in a v-neck with sleeves barely touching her elbow.
I think if asked they would just shrug and say this was what was normal then.

amother

Oldlace

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 9:50 pm

amother Oldlace wrote:

You're reminding me though that I did ask this once of my mother in law who is very vocal about tznius and has opinions on what everyone wears. She too has pictures of herself and family with knee length skirts and v necklines.
She said- do you know how the rest of the world dressed then? This was tznius by those standards.
Ummm I don't like arguing with her so I let it slide but I can assure you the world today dresses far worse than in the 1970's...

amother

SandyBrown

Thu, Jun 01 2023, 10:17 pm

chestnut wrote:

I'm just surprised a chassidishe high school doesn't have rules about the skirt length. I thought chassidim don't wear maxi/ankle skirts (like BY girls do), but it sounds like these 9th graders will?

Many chassidish schools allow midi length.

chestnut

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 12:26 am

amother Oldlace wrote:

I really find it fascinating. Were they from a chassidus with a Rebbe?

chestnut

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 12:29 am

amother Oldlace wrote:

Hahaha, priceless. Does she want to say that tznius rules are fluid? Wink

In that case a small V neck, just at the knee skirt, and short sleeves would be super tznius these days lol

amother

Mimosa

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 12:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

My dd is entering high school this year. She's going to a chassidishe school and we are a chassidishe family. The school has no rules on the length of the skirt. Her classmates are all buying midi skirt but in my family we don't wear midis. My DD is totally OK with regular length skirts (she told me she has no problem wearing regular length skirts) and I'm with her. But I'm having this horrible feelings.. On one hand it's the mesorah of my family and why should she see the tzinus codes can change just because classmates all bought midis and then on the other hand I don't want her to be considered the neb in the class. I'm so torn apart!!

My girls are also in a chassidishe high school and we also didn't really wear midi length skirts so I bought them regular length. Within one week into the school year, my oldest already told me most of her grade is wearing midi and the school didn't outright say they can't, just the principal commented it's better not to. Of course I let her go buy the longer length, I don't want her to stick out and feel nebby. Before you spend all that money on uniforms, maybe wait and see.

amother

Vanilla

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 12:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

I really appreciate everyone input. Guess it's not the right place for me to ask my question. My question wasnt if it's mesorah or if midi is fashion or not. My question simply was if it's ok or weird that my DD wears a length different than the class.

Thanks again everyone.

If your daughter is ok with it then it's fine. There is nothing wrong with people learning that we can each do differently and it's ok. It's healthier for everyone not to have to be the same. If your daughter feels uncomfortable and has an issue with it then it may be time to reevaluate or ask a shaila about whether or not it's something to stick with anyhow.

amother

DarkKhaki

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 12:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

The question is why you would arbitrarily make your daughter dress differently from her friends. If she likes the shorter skirt, fine. If not, why would you impose it?

150 years ago, everyone wore ankle length skirts, and mid-calf skirts were scandalously immodest.

amother

Calendula

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 12:36 pm

amother Jean wrote:

I don’t get what midi is vs what regular is. OP must be using one or more terms differently than I do

I think we’ve got a bunch of people using them interchangeably. Who knew a school skirt thread could cause so much confusion!

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 12:50 pm

amother Seablue wrote:

How is wearing a longer skirt possibly less tznius? I dont get the whole conversation

I don't know about school uniform skirts and what is regular or midi or maxi. But we were taught the issue with long skirts is that the wind can catch them more than a shorter skirt and plaster the skirt to the legs, showing the whole outline of the legs as if there wasn't a skirt. And we shouldn't be showing the outline of the whole leg, which is also the reason pants aren't allowed for girls.

amother

Hotpink

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 1:03 pm

amother Aubergine wrote:

Or the wind can more easily pick up a skirt if its shorter. If you're concerned about the wind, then I'd rather have my skirt plastered against my leg than picked up to thigh level.

Either way - midi length to maxi length makes little difference in regards to wind.

Tznius is not a strict set of rigid rules. It is a conceptual and dependent on the environment. If you stick out for any reason, you attract attention. If you're the only one wearing a knee length skirt in a crowd of midi/maxi skirts, you will be attracting attention, and vice versa.

If the concept behind tznius is not attract attention, you should consider your choices (within the realms of halacha of course), to see if it works with or against the concept. A rigid approach may fall outside of actual tznius if thought and flexibility is not applied. Is standing out from the crowd of schoolgirls the tzniusdig approach, or does it actually work against it.

amother

Nasturtium

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 7:24 pm

Yes, to an extent rules of tznius are fluid and depend on minhag hamakom. If you went to a place where women covered their hands and faces and didn't start white shoes--Afghanistan under the Taliban comes to mind--you would have to follow suit. Obviously the system doesn't work in the opposite direction: if you went to the African jungle you would not be allowed to wear a loincloth.

Highstrung

Fri, Jun 02 2023, 7:33 pm

Midi skirts are below the knee to mid calf
Maxi skirts are longer , going longer than mid calf to the ankles (or ground).
“Regular” skirts are also midi skirts. For some it’s 4 inches below the knee , for some it’s 6 or whatever.
For some reason people here refer to Maxi skirts as Midi.
Midi comes from the word middle , like middle of the leg . Maxi comes from the word Max, meaning full length, long, to the max .
Hope this clarifies things 😉