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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 10:53 am
I'm not a big cryer in general, but I grew up never seeing my parents cry, and I would have found it very very unsettling to see them cry.
I speak to my kids about crying if something sad...they know that adults cry too if sad.
But I do feel that it would be disturbing for them to see me or dh cry, especially since never did for all these years. Nor do I want to cry in front of them. I don't cry much in general anyway.
Anyone else like this?
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shabbatiscoming
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 11:00 am
amother OP wrote: | I'm not a big cryer in general, but I grew up never seeing my parents cry, and I would have found it very very unsettling to see them cry.
I speak to my kids about crying if something sad...they know that adults cry too if sad.
But I do feel that it would be disturbing for them to see me or dh cry, especially since never did for all these years. Nor do I want to cry in front of them. I don't cry much in general anyway.
Anyone else like this? |
But why? Parents are humans too.
Ive cried in front of my child. And ive explained, when she was younger, that adults cry too. And she understands. We look at it in a positive way, not in a bad way.
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amother
Burntblack
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 11:03 am
I’ve definitely cried in front of them.
I expressed what I was feeling and made sure they know I’m ok just sad or overwhelmed and they don’t need to do anything about jt. It’ll pass.
I want to make sure they know me crying isn’t their burden.
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amother
Tan
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 11:05 am
I cry in front of them and say "mommys a little sad right now" it's undhealthy for them to grow up thinking crying is bad
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bigsis144
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 11:06 am
My kids see me cry at happy endings in movies as well as when I’m sad or frustrated.
I hope they see that crying isn’t a bad, weak or shameful thing. It’s just part of being human.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 12:19 pm
I never really put much thought into this, but I agree that I don't want my kids to see me cry in general. I think I would be okay if they saw me cry over something very public and significant - like the death of someone - as that would be appropriate. All the other things that I cry for are things that are not their business and wouldn't be able to explain to them - so of course they shouldn't see me cry.
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flowerpower
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 12:33 pm
Nopes!!!! I don’t think they need to see that.
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life is fun
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 2:00 pm
Never properly, but have been teary in the past
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amother
Aubergine
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 7:35 pm
Everyone knows I'm a sentimental slob and cry at happy endings, sad endings, weddings, funerals, sentimental songs and soft-focus commercials for diapers, life insurance, health care, environmental products and telephone service. Why should I hide this from my kids? What I tried not to let them see was my fear--of dogs, cats, heights, bugs, mice, that sort of thing, because that would give them the idea that these are things to be afraid of. Let them choose their own fears and not inherit mine.
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essie14
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Sat, Jun 03 2023, 2:39 pm
I cry at commercials, movies and when we leave my family after visiting. DD knows I cry when I'm sad and that it's ok.
When she's crying about something sad I tell her that it's good to cry it out and hopefully when she finishes crying she will be a little less sad.
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Iymnok
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Sat, Jun 03 2023, 5:42 pm
I didn’t try to hide my tears when my uncle died. I wanted them to see that.
I hide when I get emotional over a children’s book. That’s embarrassing.
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amother
Lilac
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Sat, Jun 03 2023, 5:51 pm
On rare occasions. I try to cover it up when I'm reading a book because then I really cry over stupid things like fiction...
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amother
Sapphire
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Sat, Jun 03 2023, 10:43 pm
I saw my mother cry once or twice and it was actually unsettling for me and made me very nervous when it happened. I don’t cry in front of anyone really but especially not in Front of my kids.
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amother
Jasmine
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Sat, Jun 03 2023, 11:14 pm
amother Sapphire wrote: | I saw my mother cry once or twice and it was actually unsettling for me and made me very nervous when it happened. I don’t cry in front of anyone really but especially not in Front of my kids. |
I saw my mother cry many times during a tough period and reacted the same as you. I do everything to avoid crying in front of my kids. In general, I have a hard time with displays of emotions. I sometimes need to cry and can’t or won’t let myself.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jun 05 2023, 9:24 am
amother Aubergine wrote: | Everyone knows I'm a sentimental slob and cry at happy endings, sad endings, weddings, funerals, sentimental songs and soft-focus commercials for diapers, life insurance, health care, environmental products and telephone service. Why should I hide this from my kids? What I tried not to let them see was my fear--of dogs, cats, heights, bugs, mice, that sort of thing, because that would give them the idea that these are things to be afraid of. Let them choose their own fears and not inherit mine. |
If you're a sentimental slob, this obviously doesn't pertain to you lol
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amother
NeonPurple
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Mon, Jun 05 2023, 9:33 am
I too am a “sentimental slob” DD 22 cries right along with me and DD 19, along with DH (both of whom are heartless and made of stone) point and laugh. It’s all in good fun and a big family joke.
I read Holocaust History Fiction and they take over under bets about when I will start crying. (The winner of the bet gets the mitzvah of bringing me tissues-we are not to serious here)
But my children have also seen me cry over disappointments in life, loss, injury……my kids know I am not made of stone.
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