Rinas Seminary | Imamother

amother

RosePink

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 6:27 am

Posting on behalf of someone who was in Rinas this year. The purpose of this Rinas review is to provide information about Rinas Bais Yaakov seminary. This review is of the 2022-2023 year.

The building: Rinas Bais Yaakov is located on 70 Ezra Street, right across from the gesher Ezra-Nechemia bridge. The building itself is quite large and was built prior to world war 1 and remodeled to be an old age home after world war 1 (says a sign on the side of the building). The building houses an Israeli Bais Yaakov high school, a shul, and Rinas Seminary. The Seminary owns half the part on the left side of the building, directly across from the bridge. You can see it on Google maps. The right side of the building is the shul and the part of the building that is not on ezra street is a school.

Rinas is a small seminary dorm within this large building. When you walk in, there is a gold curtain to block the view (tznius?) after passing the curtain, there is a small office on your right side for the principle and the secretary. If you continue walking straight ten feet you hit a dining room. The dining room is a renovated outdoor courtyard with makeshift walls that made the space to turn it into a dining room. It has plastic chairs, tables, and a couch. From the back of the dining room you can climb steps upstairs alongside piles of everyone’s suitcases or if you go outside the main dining room entrance you can continue straight about 20 feet and again take steps upstairs from the hallway. On the way you pass a kitchen to your left and two classrooms to your right. There is also a small office, a teacher’s bathroom, and a tiny storage room that houses the one computer that the entire seminary has to share during post-curfew hours only until the aim bayit leaves (aim bayit is super sweet). That is the entire first floor. There is no place to sit and chill other than a small fabric couch in the dining room.

Once you go upstairs, There is a small washer/dryer room on your left with a string laundry line to hang clothes which usually ends up with everyone’s things piled together. In the hallways, there are about 15 rooms of which several are rooms within rooms. Each room has its own bathroom and shower. If you are a room within a room then both rooms share the bathroom and shower. There is nothing to hold the water in so you has to Sponja the bathroom each time you shower or water gets everywhere. Depending on the size/type of room you will be between 4-8 roomates, typically 6. Currently, the rooms are not big enough to fit all the closets and several girls have their closets outside in the hallway. There is also no space for the suitcases which are all tossed over the ledge to the stairs going down to the dining room. You walk past piles and piles of suitcases (we are 60+ girls so over 120 suitcases) to go down the steps and the suitcases are piled much higher than the steps so they often pile into the hallways too. They are extending some new rooms over the roof to make room for more girls so expect less overall space and more suitcases. Extending over the roof also means the windows that are there will be gone and that the couches which lean against that wall will have to be moved elsewhere.

There are currently 3 couches in the upstairs hallways against the window plus one chair. All have the inner stuffing exposed, are ripped, dirty, have holes, and have sunken in parts where the seat gave way. One is physically broken into two pieces. These couches were here broken and open when we got here. The seminary initially got us couch coverings that didn’t fit right but we’re functional. However those ripped with time and don’t get washed regularly so by the time the end of the year came around, we used the couches without the coverings. There is no place else to sit and chill. The couches are right outside 4 rooms and this often kept girls up at night from all the noise since there was no place else to hang out. Also, there was a porch from each room but in my year we could not use it. They said they have plans to cover it over so that girls can use it next year without it bothering the neighbors that we are here.

Food: The girls generally loved the food and there is always lots of variety and fresh. Breakfast has bread, cheese, yogurt, pudding, cereal. Lunch has salad, soup, main course, supper the same. No leftovers. Everything is always fresh and tasty. The cook is super nice and just had a baby. We had a temporary cook after who was also super nice and cooks well.

Extracurricular: There is always something going on in this category. The principles daughter who is practically the second principle does the programming and is always available for the girls at all hours and is always working hard coming up with new ideas. Always activities, themes, girls working on decorations, music, theme songs, yom iyuns, Shabbos program, decorating the classrooms and dining room for this reason or that, fun trips, play, songs the girls record, everyone can get involved and there is always something going on. It’s really fun. You get to know and work with everyone this way. We also get to use the kitchen to bake for yom iyun or other themed days.

Teachers: Really good teachers and incredible guest speakers! Classes are really good and numerous rabbeim teachers who are particularly amazing.

Shabbosim: This seminary is mostly in-shabbosim. It is typically two shabbosim in the dorm, one Shabbos away with the seminary and one Shabbos out. The principle and her daughter come on all the shabbosim, trips, in and out weeks and get to know everyone very well.

Rules: There are many rules that are enforced with tznius being the main one. The front curtain that greets you when you open the door at the entrance gives an idea as to the tzneus stringencies of the school. The principle is Israeli running an American seminary so there are many rules that might be standard in Israeli culture but are less typical in American culture yet are a big deal here. Here are the main ones. Hair must be put in a pony at all times - this includes Shabbos and yom tov. This includes when you are outside the dorm on the streets. This includes in the dorm after curfew when you are in pejamas. Anytime you are out of the privacy of your room (even after your shower in the hallways at night) your hair must be in a ponytail. You must always wear socks even if it’s night time and there are no male teachers or even no teachers at all- until you are in your room. These rules are enforced by the staff. You can’t walk around anywhere outside your room or be in the hallways at night unless you are fully tznius (socks/pony). You will get in trouble/told off if you do. Curfew is generally 10 and lights out is 12. If you are late for sign in, you get 3 nights early curfew. Non-negotiable. Shoes must be dark colored (no white sneakers). During water trips we wear shvimkleit and tights, similarly on hikes we do not wear leggings with socks, we wear tights. At night most of the girls wear nightgowns not pejama pants and t-shirts. The seminary is mostly Chassidish and yeshivish type of rules and girls.

Girls: Girls are mostly from Lakewood and a mixture of out of town places. Really amazing nice girls, a mixture of Yeshivish/Chassidish and some that are completely not either of these and if you are not from that Chassidish/yeshivish/heimish background the tznius rules can be challenging and you can feel labeled a bad student. It has a wholesome out of town vibe from the girls. Everyone could be who they wanted (as long as you follow the rules), very low on the peer pressure or style pressure scale, and just an easygoing, warm, friendly, and accepting crowd of wonderful students.

Hanhalah/Boundaries: There is no hanhala outside of the principle and her daughter who are involved in every aspect of the seminary. She knows everything going on about everyone and everyone in staff has to answer to her. Her single daughter is the equivalent of the assistant principle and everything the daughter does is with checking in with her mother. The two of them run literally everything in the school and oversee all aspects of students experiences. Shabbosim, mentoring, advice, guidance, opinions about this or that. The principle and her family/daughter spend 3 out of 4 shabbosim a month with the seminary. Her daughter is often in the building working on extracurricular with the girls throughout the day and commonly way past midnight and sometimes to one or two AM with girls. This intense amount of time spent with students can create intense relationships. The boundaries can be confusing due to the close relationship and amount of time spent with the family. Because of this, there became a hierarchy of girls over the year in my year. My perspective is that since the principle and her daughter spend so much time with the girls, some are given more privileges than others. Some girls are treated like madrichas. They are given responsibilities like madrichas, are given copies of the keys, get confided in about other girls personal lives, and are given extra responsibility, get to bake or help in the kitchen when others can’t go in, get to bake when they want while others can’t, have special meetings with the principle, are asked to do extra chores and help out, and are praised and confided in. They are told personal things about other people in the seminary, and are told the principles opinions about madrichas, staff, and thoughts about relationships between friends. They are also given information about upcoming trips and schedules that other girls are not told about. These girls can posssibly feel like they are part faculty part student. Others feel like they are labeled as the bad girls and feel less than others. It is very obvious who is chosen in these roles and who is not. The principle and girls can be very close. Some confide in her. She sometimes tells things to them that perhaps should be kept private. She is known to share things told in confidence from girls to others girls. This causes tension among the girls at night in the dorm. This is why sometimes the boundaries between principle, her daughter, and the students can feel confusing or messy. This results in some students having strong feelings about the principle, with some feeing special, feeling singled out, feeling trusted, and others experiencing hurt feelings, confused, disliked, or unsure what the attention or discussions means. Also with others feeling unsure how to navigate the power struggles of wanting to be on her good side but then feeling trapped and uncomfortable with what comes along with being on her good side and how that impacts their relationship with other students in the seminary..also them not knowing how to get out of it. This is why many girls love her and feel so close to her and her daughter and others don’t or feel conflicted. This aspect of teacher-student relationship does not impact all the students. Those who are emotionally needy or have a personality that struggles to say no or has a need to impress or students who struggle to fit into the mold or are top students and singled out are more at risk of having a complicated experience. Once again, there are many and probably most of the students who don’t have a specifically close relationship and are not involved in this aspect of the seminary and therefore won't be impacted by this. Therefore while some students might have relationship difficulties, many of the students will not. The difficulties are enough that at night time, discussions around difficulties navigating relationships with the principle is a common theme talked about among the girls in my year who are too afraid to talk out or too confused to verbalize it publicly but in whispers at night it is often discussed. Once again, this is not everyones experience but definitely the experience of some.

Trips: Similar to the amazing extra-curricular programming – there are lots of fun trips that the principle and her daughter take the girls on. Probably more than other seminaries. The principle’s daughter is always coming up with ideas for organizing one amazing trip or another.

amother

Mulberry

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 6:44 am

amother RosePink wrote:

Posting on behalf of someone who was in Rinas this year. The purpose of this Rinas review is to provide information about Rinas Bais Yaakov seminary. This review is of the 2022-2023 year.

The building: Rinas Bais Yaakov is located on 70 Ezra Street, right across from the gesher Ezra-Nechemia bridge. The building itself is quite large and was built prior to world war 1 and remodeled to be an old age home after world war 1 (says a sign on the side of the building). The building houses an Israeli Bais Yaakov high school, a shul, and Rinas Seminary. The Seminary owns half the part on the left side of the building, directly across from the bridge. You can see it on Google maps. The right side of the building is the shul and the part of the building that is not on ezra street is a school.

Rinas is a small seminary dorm within this large building. When you walk in, there is a gold curtain to block the view (tznius?) after passing the curtain, there is a small office on your right side for the principle and the secretary. If you continue walking straight ten feet you hit a dining room. The dining room is a renovated outdoor courtyard with makeshift walls that made the space to turn it into a dining room. It has plastic chairs, tables, and a couch. From the back of the dining room you can climb steps upstairs alongside piles of everyone’s suitcases or if you go outside the main dining room entrance you can continue straight about 20 feet and again take steps upstairs from the hallway. On the way you pass a kitchen to your left and two classrooms to your right. There is also a small office, a teacher’s bathroom, and a tiny storage room that houses the one computer that the entire seminary has to share during post-curfew hours only until the aim bayit leaves (aim bayit is super sweet). That is the entire first floor. There is no place to sit and chill other than a small fabric couch in the dining room.

Once you go upstairs, There is a small washer/dryer room on your left with a string laundry line to hang clothes which usually ends up with everyone’s things piled together. In the hallways, there are about 15 rooms of which several are rooms within rooms. Each room has its own bathroom and shower. If you are a room within a room then both rooms share the bathroom and shower. There is nothing to hold the water in so you has to Sponja the bathroom each time you shower or water gets everywhere. Depending on the size/type of room you will be between 4-8 roomates, typically 6. Currently, the rooms are not big enough to fit all the closets and several girls have their closets outside in the hallway. There is also no space for the suitcases which are all tossed over the ledge to the stairs going down to the dining room. You walk past piles and piles of suitcases (we are 60+ girls so over 120 suitcases) to go down the steps and the suitcases are piled much higher than the steps so they often pile into the hallways too. They are extending some new rooms over the roof to make room for more girls so expect less overall space and more suitcases. Extending over the roof also means the windows that are there will be gone and that the couches which lean against that wall will have to be moved elsewhere.

There are currently 3 couches in the upstairs hallways against the window plus one chair. All have the inner stuffing exposed, are ripped, dirty, have holes, and have sunken in parts where the seat gave way. One is physically broken into two pieces. These couches were here broken and open when we got here. The seminary initially got us couch coverings that didn’t fit right but we’re functional. However those ripped with time and don’t get washed regularly so by the time the end of the year came around, we used the couches without the coverings. There is no place else to sit and chill. The couches are right outside 4 rooms and this often kept girls up at night from all the noise since there was no place else to hang out. Also, there was a porch from each room but in my year we could not use it. They said they have plans to cover it over so that girls can use it next year without it bothering the neighbors that we are here.

Food: The girls generally loved the food and there is always lots of variety and fresh. Breakfast has bread, cheese, yogurt, pudding, cereal. Lunch has salad, soup, main course, supper the same. No leftovers. Everything is always fresh and tasty. The cook is super nice and just had a baby. We had a temporary cook after who was also super nice and cooks well.

Extracurricular: There is always something going on in this category. The principles daughter who is practically the second principle does the programming and is always available for the girls at all hours and is always working hard coming up with new ideas. Always activities, themes, girls working on decorations, music, theme songs, yom iyuns, Shabbos program, decorating the classrooms and dining room for this reason or that, fun trips, play, songs the girls record, everyone can get involved and there is always something going on. It’s really fun. You get to know and work with everyone this way. We also get to use the kitchen to bake for yom iyun or other themed days.

Teachers: Really good teachers and incredible guest speakers! Classes are really good and numerous rabbeim teachers who are particularly amazing.

Shabbosim: This seminary is mostly in-shabbosim. It is typically two shabbosim in the dorm, one Shabbos away with the seminary and one Shabbos out. The principle and her daughter come on all the shabbosim, trips, in and out weeks and get to know everyone very well.

Rules: There are many rules that are enforced with tznius being the main one. The front curtain that greets you when you open the door at the entrance gives an idea as to the tzneus stringencies of the school. The principle is Israeli running an American seminary so there are many rules that might be standard in Israeli culture but are less typical in American culture yet are a big deal here. Here are the main ones. Hair must be put in a pony at all times - this includes Shabbos and yom tov. This includes when you are outside the dorm on the streets. This includes in the dorm after curfew when you are in pejamas. Anytime you are out of the privacy of your room (even after your shower in the hallways at night) your hair must be in a ponytail. You must always wear socks even if it’s night time and there are no male teachers or even no teachers at all- until you are in your room. These rules are enforced by the staff. You can’t walk around anywhere outside your room or be in the hallways at night unless you are fully tznius (socks/pony). You will get in trouble/told off if you do. Curfew is generally 10 and lights out is 12. If you are late for sign in, you get 3 nights early curfew. Non-negotiable. Shoes must be dark colored (no white sneakers). During water trips we wear shvimkleit and tights, similarly on hikes we do not wear leggings with socks, we wear tights. At night most of the girls wear nightgowns not pejama pants and t-shirts. The seminary is mostly Chassidish and yeshivish type of rules and girls.

Girls: Girls are mostly from Lakewood and a mixture of out of town places. Really amazing nice girls, a mixture of Yeshivish/Chassidish and some that are completely not either of these and if you are not from that Chassidish/yeshivish/heimish background the tznius rules can be challenging and you can feel labeled a bad student. It has a wholesome out of town vibe from the girls. Everyone could be who they wanted (as long as you follow the rules), very low on the peer pressure or style pressure scale, and just an easygoing, warm, friendly, and accepting crowd of wonderful students.

Hanhalah/Boundaries: There is no hanhala outside of the principle and her daughter who are involved in every aspect of the seminary. She knows everything going on about everyone and everyone in staff has to answer to her. Her single daughter is the equivalent of the assistant principle and everything the daughter does is with checking in with her mother. The two of them run literally everything in the school and oversee all aspects of students experiences. Shabbosim, mentoring, advice, guidance, opinions about this or that. The principle and her family/daughter spend 3 out of 4 shabbosim a month with the seminary. Her daughter is often in the building working on extracurricular with the girls throughout the day and commonly way past midnight and sometimes to one or two AM with girls. This intense amount of time spent with students can create intense relationships. The boundaries can be confusing due to the close relationship and amount of time spent with the family. Because of this, there became a hierarchy of girls over the year in my year. My perspective is that since the principle and her daughter spend so much time with the girls, some are given more privileges than others. Some girls are treated like madrichas. They are given responsibilities like madrichas, get confided in about other girls personal lives, and are given extra responsibility, get to run the kitchen when others can’t go in, get to bake when they want while others can’t, have special meetings with the principle, are asked to do extra chores and help out, and are praised and confided in, are told personal things about other people in the seminary. Others feel like they are labeled as the bad girls and feel less than others. It is very obvious who is chosen in these roles and who is not. The principle and girls can be very close. Some confide in her. She sometimes tells things to them that perhaps should be kept private. She is known to share things told in confidence from girls to others girls. This causes tension among the girls at night in the dorm. This is why sometimes the boundaries between principle, her daughter, and the students can feel confusing or messy. This results in some students having strong feelings about the principle, with some feeing special, feeling singled out, feeling trusted, and others experiencing hurt feelings, confused, disliked, or unsure what the attention or discussions means. Also with others feeling unsure how to navigate the power struggles of wanting to be on her good side but then feeling trapped and uncomfortable with what comes along with being on her good side and how that impacts their relationship with other students in the seminary..also them not knowing how to get out of it. This is why many girls love her and feel so close to her and her daughter and others don’t or feel conflicted. This aspect of teacher-student relationship does not impact all the students. Those who are emotionally needy or have a personality that struggles to say no or has a need to impress or students who struggle to fit into the mold or are top students and singled out are more at risk of having a complicated experience. Once again, there are many and probably most of the students who don’t have a specifically close relationship and are not involved in this aspect of the seminary and therefore won't be impacted by this. Therefore while some students might have relationship difficulties, many of the students will not. The difficulties are enough that at night time, discussions around difficulties navigating relationships with the principle is a common theme talked about among the girls in my year who are too afraid to talk out or too confused to verbalize it publicly but in whispers at night it is often discussed. Once again, this is not everyones experience but definitely the experience of some.

Trips: Similar to the amazing extra-curricular programming – there are lots of fun trips that the principle and her daughter take the girls on. Probably more than other seminaries. The principle’s daughter is always coming up with ideas for organizing one amazing trip or another.

Wow, so thoughtful of whoever you are posting on behalf of. Really explains alot. Doesn't sound like a healthy environment to spend a year in.

amother

Carnation

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 7:30 am

amother RosePink wrote:

Posting on behalf of someone who was in Rinas this year. The purpose of this Rinas review is to provide information about Rinas Bais Yaakov seminary. This review is of the 2022-2023 year.

The building: Rinas Bais Yaakov is located on 70 Ezra Street, right across from the gesher Ezra-Nechemia bridge. The building itself is quite large and was built prior to world war 1 and remodeled to be an old age home after world war 1 (says a sign on the side of the building). The building houses an Israeli Bais Yaakov high school, a shul, and Rinas Seminary. The Seminary owns half the part on the left side of the building, directly across from the bridge. You can see it on Google maps. The right side of the building is the shul and the part of the building that is not on ezra street is a school.

Rinas is a small seminary dorm within this large building. When you walk in, there is a gold curtain to block the view (tznius?) after passing the curtain, there is a small office on your right side for the principle and the secretary. If you continue walking straight ten feet you hit a dining room. The dining room is a renovated outdoor courtyard with makeshift walls that made the space to turn it into a dining room. It has plastic chairs, tables, and a couch. From the back of the dining room you can climb steps upstairs alongside piles of everyone’s suitcases or if you go outside the main dining room entrance you can continue straight about 20 feet and again take steps upstairs from the hallway. On the way you pass a kitchen to your left and two classrooms to your right. There is also a small office, a teacher’s bathroom, and a tiny storage room that houses the one computer that the entire seminary has to share during post-curfew hours only until the aim bayit leaves (aim bayit is super sweet). That is the entire first floor. There is no place to sit and chill other than a small fabric couch in the dining room.

Once you go upstairs, There is a small washer/dryer room on your left with a string laundry line to hang clothes which usually ends up with everyone’s things piled together. In the hallways, there are about 15 rooms of which several are rooms within rooms. Each room has its own bathroom and shower. If you are a room within a room then both rooms share the bathroom and shower. There is nothing to hold the water in so you has to Sponja the bathroom each time you shower or water gets everywhere. Depending on the size/type of room you will be between 4-8 roomates, typically 6. Currently, the rooms are not big enough to fit all the closets and several girls have their closets outside in the hallway. There is also no space for the suitcases which are all tossed over the ledge to the stairs going down to the dining room. You walk past piles and piles of suitcases (we are 60+ girls so over 120 suitcases) to go down the steps and the suitcases are piled much higher than the steps so they often pile into the hallways too. They are extending some new rooms over the roof to make room for more girls so expect less overall space and more suitcases. Extending over the roof also means the windows that are there will be gone and that the couches which lean against that wall will have to be moved elsewhere.

There are currently 3 couches in the upstairs hallways against the window plus one chair. All have the inner stuffing exposed, are ripped, dirty, have holes, and have sunken in parts where the seat gave way. One is physically broken into two pieces. These couches were here broken and open when we got here. The seminary initially got us couch coverings that didn’t fit right but we’re functional. However those ripped with time and don’t get washed regularly so by the time the end of the year came around, we used the couches without the coverings. There is no place else to sit and chill. The couches are right outside 4 rooms and this often kept girls up at night from all the noise since there was no place else to hang out. Also, there was a porch from each room but in my year we could not use it. They said they have plans to cover it over so that girls can use it next year without it bothering the neighbors that we are here.

Food: The girls generally loved the food and there is always lots of variety and fresh. Breakfast has bread, cheese, yogurt, pudding, cereal. Lunch has salad, soup, main course, supper the same. No leftovers. Everything is always fresh and tasty. The cook is super nice and just had a baby. We had a temporary cook after who was also super nice and cooks well.

Extracurricular: There is always something going on in this category. The principles daughter who is practically the second principle does the programming and is always available for the girls at all hours and is always working hard coming up with new ideas. Always activities, themes, girls working on decorations, music, theme songs, yom iyuns, Shabbos program, decorating the classrooms and dining room for this reason or that, fun trips, play, songs the girls record, everyone can get involved and there is always something going on. It’s really fun. You get to know and work with everyone this way. We also get to use the kitchen to bake for yom iyun or other themed days.

Teachers: Really good teachers and incredible guest speakers! Classes are really good and numerous rabbeim teachers who are particularly amazing.

Shabbosim: This seminary is mostly in-shabbosim. It is typically two shabbosim in the dorm, one Shabbos away with the seminary and one Shabbos out. The principle and her daughter come on all the shabbosim, trips, in and out weeks and get to know everyone very well.

Rules: There are many rules that are enforced with tznius being the main one. The front curtain that greets you when you open the door at the entrance gives an idea as to the tzneus stringencies of the school. The principle is Israeli running an American seminary so there are many rules that might be standard in Israeli culture but are less typical in American culture yet are a big deal here. Here are the main ones. Hair must be put in a pony at all times - this includes Shabbos and yom tov. This includes when you are outside the dorm on the streets. This includes in the dorm after curfew when you are in pejamas. Anytime you are out of the privacy of your room (even after your shower in the hallways at night) your hair must be in a ponytail. You must always wear socks even if it’s night time and there are no male teachers or even no teachers at all- until you are in your room. These rules are enforced by the staff. You can’t walk around anywhere outside your room or be in the hallways at night unless you are fully tznius (socks/pony). You will get in trouble/told off if you do. Curfew is generally 10 and lights out is 12. If you are late for sign in, you get 3 nights early curfew. Non-negotiable. Shoes must be dark colored (no white sneakers). During water trips we wear shvimkleit and tights, similarly on hikes we do not wear leggings with socks, we wear tights. At night most of the girls wear nightgowns not pejama pants and t-shirts. The seminary is mostly Chassidish and yeshivish type of rules and girls.

Girls: Girls are mostly from Lakewood and a mixture of out of town places. Really amazing nice girls, a mixture of Yeshivish/Chassidish and some that are completely not either of these and if you are not from that Chassidish/yeshivish/heimish background the tznius rules can be challenging and you can feel labeled a bad student. It has a wholesome out of town vibe from the girls. Everyone could be who they wanted (as long as you follow the rules), very low on the peer pressure or style pressure scale, and just an easygoing, warm, friendly, and accepting crowd of wonderful students.

Hanhalah/Boundaries: There is no hanhala outside of the principle and her daughter who are involved in every aspect of the seminary. She knows everything going on about everyone and everyone in staff has to answer to her. Her single daughter is the equivalent of the assistant principle and everything the daughter does is with checking in with her mother. The two of them run literally everything in the school and oversee all aspects of students experiences. Shabbosim, mentoring, advice, guidance, opinions about this or that. The principle and her family/daughter spend 3 out of 4 shabbosim a month with the seminary. Her daughter is often in the building working on extracurricular with the girls throughout the day and commonly way past midnight and sometimes to one or two AM with girls. This intense amount of time spent with students can create intense relationships. The boundaries can be confusing due to the close relationship and amount of time spent with the family. Because of this, there became a hierarchy of girls over the year in my year. My perspective is that since the principle and her daughter spend so much time with the girls, some are given more privileges than others. Some girls are treated like madrichas. They are given responsibilities like madrichas, get confided in about other girls personal lives, and are given extra responsibility, get to run the kitchen when others can’t go in, get to bake when they want while others can’t, have special meetings with the principle, are asked to do extra chores and help out, and are praised and confided in, are told personal things about other people in the seminary. Others feel like they are labeled as the bad girls and feel less than others. It is very obvious who is chosen in these roles and who is not. The principle and girls can be very close. Some confide in her. She sometimes tells things to them that perhaps should be kept private. She is known to share things told in confidence from girls to others girls. This causes tension among the girls at night in the dorm. This is why sometimes the boundaries between principle, her daughter, and the students can feel confusing or messy. This results in some students having strong feelings about the principle, with some feeing special, feeling singled out, feeling trusted, and others experiencing hurt feelings, confused, disliked, or unsure what the attention or discussions means. Also with others feeling unsure how to navigate the power struggles of wanting to be on her good side but then feeling trapped and uncomfortable with what comes along with being on her good side and how that impacts their relationship with other students in the seminary..also them not knowing how to get out of it. This is why many girls love her and feel so close to her and her daughter and others don’t or feel conflicted. This aspect of teacher-student relationship does not impact all the students. Those who are emotionally needy or have a personality that struggles to say no or has a need to impress or students who struggle to fit into the mold or are top students and singled out are more at risk of having a complicated experience. Once again, there are many and probably most of the students who don’t have a specifically close relationship and are not involved in this aspect of the seminary and therefore won't be impacted by this. Therefore while some students might have relationship difficulties, many of the students will not. The difficulties are enough that at night time, discussions around difficulties navigating relationships with the principle is a common theme talked about among the girls in my year who are too afraid to talk out or too confused to verbalize it publicly but in whispers at night it is often discussed. Once again, this is not everyones experience but definitely the experience of some.

Trips: Similar to the amazing extra-curricular programming – there are lots of fun trips that the principle and her daughter take the girls on. Probably more than other seminaries. The principle’s daughter is always coming up with ideas for organizing one amazing trip or another.

Wow. So crazy that this wasn’t a one time/one year thing.
I was one of the “chosen” ones that she would confide in and share other girl’s personal details with and as I mentioned up thread It was extremely uncomfortable for me.
I was often given a key to the doors after curfew, allowed in the kitchen, got away with things other girls wouldn’t have.
She spoke to me about some of the staff, a teacher she didn’t like and fired, a madricha she wanted to get rid of etc.
I don’t think anyone knew that she shared those things with me though. I never spoke about it and didn’t feel good about it.
I wish I had the courage to tell her off even if I would suddenly be on her bad side and my personal details would likely be shared with others.