cant decide what to do next year!

amother

Tue, Jul 08 2008, 9:47 pm

I will be working part time as a secretary in a school IYH this coming year...unless I quit.

I am working there now, and have been for two and a half years.

The environment is pleasant, my boss is ok as bosses go, the work is interesting, the pay is 23 dollars an hour.

The hours will be 8:40 to 12:45 mon thru thurs, and 8:40 to 1:00 on fri.

During july and august, I work twice a week for 4 hours each.

My dh brings in a decent salary BH.

We don't have like millions, but we bli ayin hora BH get by just fine right now. We live simply.

Anyhow: I am highly pregnant BH. I have a 2 year old ds, and am due with this baby in 6 weeks IYH.

So...after taxes and babysitting I will bring home 900 dollars a month sept-june, and not much during the summer months.

However, If I don't work, we will be eligible for free health insurance, food stamps, and all those types of programs. (My dh is paid through parsonage, which means a big part of his income is off the books)

So by working I become ineligible for programs. (My place only pays on the books)

Which means that I really won't be making that much money: like 200 a month sept-june, and basically nothing in the summer, if you calculate that I have to pay for insurance that I otherwise wouldn't pay for etc.

Bkitzur, I cannot make up my freaking mind about this!!

Do I work for two thousand dollars a year just cuz its a nice environment and I enjoy it?

And cuz maybe ill go mental staying at home all day? Like my best friend who had anxiety attacks from staying indoors all day in the winter months?

Or do I say Screw the job, ill barely make any money anyhow, why the heck would I work, I'll be fine at home?

But its hard to get out so early in the morning with two lil kids!! And its also hard to stay home in the winter months with two lil kids!!

And do I really wanna be on programs? Programs are for losers? On the other hand, do I really want to leave my newborn by a babysitter? A baby belongs with its mommy? (I do have a babysitter that I love and trust, it will be one on one...but it aint mommy)

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

This decision is so driving me mental, cuz both ways have points that make sense.

Like: don't give up a good job cuz maybe you'll need the money next year vs don't work for pennies, that's ridiculous

Any advice?

Frumom

Tue, Jul 08 2008, 10:37 pm

It really depends on whether or not you feel you will go crazy staying at home.
On the one hand it might sound very overwhelming and exhausting being home all day and a little outlet might be nice.
OTOH, is your older child going to be in any kind pf playgroup or anything? You might want that time to nap when the baby does or get things done.
There are pluses and minuses either way, why don't you write down the pros and cons and see which comes out on top?

GAMZu

Tue, Jul 08 2008, 11:09 pm

Your children definitely need you. You have a hard time imagining being stuck at home in the winter months. Well... you don't have to be. If you go out to work, you will have to leave the house with both kids, won't you?
I made a point to go out at least 4 or 5 days a week in the winter with my kids.
Anything. Take a walk, go to the grocery... the LIBRARY! That's a great option.

We'd go to 13th avenue and hop into many stores to browse, so we kept warm.

I think it would be so much harder to prepare for the day if you work. You'd have to prepare your baby's meals and all (pumping ain't so much fun.)

If you are worried about getting out, have a babysitter available once a week so you can go out with friends, or alone. Or leave the baby with her and take the older kid on a mini trip. They love that. Very Happy

Public assistance isn't for losers. You said yourself you won't end up making any money after all is said and done. So what's the big deal?

leomom

Wed, Jul 09 2008, 1:31 am

I vote be with your babies. Very Happy

It's not a financial decision for you -- it's a lifestyle decision. You are in a position to create the home life you want for your children, with YOU in the center as their mother. As GAMZu suggested, you can always get occasional babysitting so you can have breaks.

I think you will LOVE being able to set your own rhythms and make your own plans. With little kids, who themselves don't have to be at a certain place at a certain time, that is just the best feeling possible. Sleep in if they're sleeping in. Take naps if they do. Go out when you're all good and ready. Enjoy every moment with them while they are little.

catonmylap

Wed, Jul 09 2008, 2:37 am

It astounds me that $23 an hour, which sounds so high, especially for secretarial work doesn't get you anywhere.

I would want to stay home with my baby if I brought in so little money that it wasn't worth working, but if you enjoy the work and would rather be working, you should. It's also only working half a day, so you still have lots of time with your baby.

Is it legal how your husband is paid? It sounds fishy that if his salary was on the books you wouldn't qualify for government aid, even if you weren't working.

pinkbubbles

Wed, Jul 09 2008, 3:49 am

Make a list of pros and cons as previously suggested.. that really helps when you see it on paper, how much there is on each side.
If it were me I would stay home, especially because you pointed out you make almost no money and get no benefits while working. Theres nothing better for kids than being looked after by their own mother (if the mother doesn't hate it, that is-but there is lots you can do to keep yourself busy in order not to regret your decision-just ask the SAHMs on imamother)
Plus, you can always start work again even if its somewhere else- or volunteer!

sarahd

Wed, Jul 09 2008, 5:45 am

catonmylap wrote:

Is it legal how your husband is paid? It sounds fishy that if his salary was on the books you wouldn't qualify for government aid, even if you weren't working.

Parsonage allowance is legal. Clergymen - which I guess every guy who has any kind of semicha can qualify as - do not have to pay taxes on the part of their income which is used for housing (the "parsonage" in which the minister lives, right?) Before anybody starts worrying over whether OP's husband is enough of a clergyman to qualify, let me assure you that the category can include teachers of religion too.

catonmylap

Wed, Jul 09 2008, 5:54 am

sarahd wrote:

catonmylap wrote:

Is it legal how your husband is paid? It sounds fishy that if his salary was on the books you wouldn't qualify for government aid, even if you weren't working.

I thought it was a tax deduction. We had that when dh worked in Canada.

It seems odd to me that you wouldn't have to report the full income with the parsonage allowance when determining eligibility for government aid. I would just check the law to make sure... and ask a Rav if there is an ethical question there.

The woman arrested in "the wig controversy" was arrested for under reporting their income to medicaid - http://www.vosizneias.com/1788.....ersy/

amother

Wed, Jul 16 2008, 11:48 am

thansk for all the responses!!

Shalhevet:

Quote:

don't have other advice, but just factor in something else - it sounds like a good job re hours, environment etc - if you leave will it still be waiting for you if you want to come back in a year or two? Or are you thinking more along the lines of hanging on for a year or two and with more children it certainly won't be worth it?

I dunno, like for next year, IY"H, my son will be in school and we will need to pay tuition. So we will need more money. So maybe I should keep the job. On the other hand, how will I get to work by 8:40 if his school starts at 9:00? (his school will probably be around the corner from me, besides I wouldnt want him sitting on the bus at a mere 3 years old for a long time even if it wasnt around the corner)

Also, is secretarial work really a long term plan? Should I not just 4get the job and go try to get some kind of degree online or whatever?

TightRopeWalker

Wed, Jul 16 2008, 12:00 pm

amother wrote:

thansk for all the responses!!

Shalhevet:

Quote:

I'm also in a similar situation. I get paid decently, but I don't know how much longer I can do all this juggling. We most likely will need the money, but I'm not sure yet as my husband is due for his annual raise soon. I miss my kids, and don't have the same energy for them as when I was not working. I will be paying for childare for 2 small children. So yes when you add it all up I am bringing home something, but it's minimal. I'm not sure it's worth the cost. Taking 2 kids out to a babysitter is draining, but I'm not sure bringing someone in is a viable answer either. Anyway enough of my ranting. G'luck with your decision.