boys will be boys, or something more?/4 yr. old's habit

SouthernShalom

Tue, Jun 19 2007, 5:50 pm

greenfire wrote:

humans have natural urges...

Which we need to learn to control. You can teach a child self control without demeaning him or his bodyparts. If done correctly it won't make him feel like he or his bodyparts are BAD.

cdawnr

Tue, Jun 19 2007, 9:52 pm

I have this problem with my ds 3. He does it a lot to soothe himself to sleep, or when he is very tired. We tell him not to do it, gently, but in truth he doesn't listen...I personally don't think he himself is old enouhg/ mature enough for us to stop the action yet with just speaking. We repeat ourselves as often as we can ont he messege and that ishow I plan to continue.

californiafish

Thu, Jun 21 2007, 2:39 am

Quote:

I've read it is a good thing to associate these parts and the bathroom, because it will prevent the boy from associating morning hardness (=need for bathroom) to s-xuality (=may think it means a need for pleasuring). Apparently it is a common misunderstanding when not explained.

I hope you don't believe in this for girls as well, because it causes girls to grow up thinking that everything down there is connected to going to the bathroom and therefore must be a very dirty thing. It's one of the most common s*xual misconceptions that parents can give their daughters.

And it's interesting this thread just came up, I noticed a student of mine (5 yrs old) touching herself in school the other day. I didn't say anything, but usually when I taught younger kids (2 yr olds) I would just say that's not tznius, but not that it was bad. At a young age it should be taught as basic social manners, you don't pick your nose, scratch your tush, pick your ears...or touch down there! It should just be presented as "this is what we do and don't do" and then when they're older, then you can give them a proper talk.