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Day Care
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sheshycoco




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 11 2005, 12:46 am
amother,
You are right, they is no halachic issue with this, people just have opinions, and noone should blame halacha for it, I personally think the majority of every mother needs a break at some point, and some need it daily, I've spokent o plenty who do work, and they say they are so much happier and prepared for their kids.
Just goes to show, although I am a stay at homemum, I do shietels and makeup, so I do have an outlet,I love it, and I love it when there are weeks Im just with my baby too.
PS, U live in NY, Im having a mammy and me by me this Tuesday,if you're interested.
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carrot




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 11 2005, 4:05 pm
Motek wrote:


Quote:
What is best for a woman, being single or being married, depends on many factors. She might be a productive single woman, giving to her community and society or she could be in a miserable marriage. What is best for a woman really depends on her support system if single. Does she have friends, family ... And for a married woman, well, what's her husband like? Is he kind, caring?


Is there something wrong with this view?

Depends on where your head is, secular culture or the Torah world.


I haven't really been a part of this discussion but this really strikes me as funny... OF COURSE we take all these factors into consideration. That is why we don't just marry the first guy mentioned to us, just in order to be married. We consider other factors, such as is this guy kind and caring... Would the marriage be miserable... Am I only 17 years old and is maybe a husband not the kind of support that I need right now...
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 11 2005, 11:03 pm
Quote:
How old are your twins freilich?

13 mnths I think Scratching Head
Quote:
I am also a twin:)

And hold old r u? Twisted Evil
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 11 2005, 11:06 pm
I am in my 20s. Twins are adorable.. but also very hard, no?
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Mommamia




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 18 2005, 12:08 am
Hi Iam happymoms. I totally agree with her on the day care. I stay at home with my baby and sometimes it is hard but I know I am doing whats best for my baby. I think once someone has a child it is their responsibility to raise them unless in certain situations like if they WONT make it otherwise. But it breaks my hear to see little tiny babbies, some 6 weeks old in big day cares, they need thir mommies. day care doesn't give them the warm, loving warmth, and love that a mother can ever give or care to give to her baby. I actually did work when my baby was 6 months for like 2 hours a day- now I look back and think HOW could I haver done that? I felt better about myself in a way that I was "accomplishing that" but what about my baby? just so I should feel better I should leave him to someone else to care for him? it started not making any sense to me so thank gd now im home with him and I take breaks, go swimming, shopping or whatever while my husband watches him. I also do a mommy and me class, tutor while my son is napping its not like you cant do anything when your home, theres lots you can do! I take him out every single day, we go the park, the library, swimming, I rollerblade with him, he loves it! and I feel so good that I am giving my son the best upbringing he could have, with his mother.
you know, when you think about it- it is really in your hands to make your kid happy, self confident and loved. I want to make sure my son grows up feeling that way- how can I trust someone else who will never be able to replace his mother do that for me?
by the way- I think happy mom the reason we both feel this way is because we saw how important it was growing up-
my mother was always there for us when we came, made dinner, took care of us, had time for us. Some of my friends who came over couldn't believe what real "family life was really like. they were kind of jealous of us. so bh I had a mother who cared to do the hardest job in the world, be a mother:)
ps- I AM NOT referring to mothers who MUST work or mothers who would be ABUSIVE if they stayed home, obviously in those witches it would be BETEER or nescesarry for them to work. anyway if people want to wokr, great but it is BEST for Mother to care for the children thats my point. and anyway thats a compliment, Im sure noone would like it if they wre told your kids are better off with a babysitter or in day care than with you.
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 18 2005, 2:00 am
Happymom nonething good in life is ever easy/ or comes easy rather. Smile So thats how I look at it. And every time I run after two in 2 directions I contemplate how someone manages w/h 3 or 4 but they do. Tongue Out So hard happymom is all relative..... just like everything else in life, but that is already another topic Wink
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 18 2005, 10:15 am
sounds like you are handling it well freilich. WHat I mean by hard is not that its impossible.. I mean 2 I harder then one. Especially in the beginning... no matter what way you look at it you barely get any sleep and you are always changing and feeding... twice as much... so thats what im saying its hard... When people have 3 or 4 at once... I don't think anyone manages without HELP. ITs too much for ANYONE to handle on their own! ... I don't mean it as a bad thing at all... just a part of life... like u said.
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supermom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 18 2005, 3:17 pm
that is why Hashem gave us two hands for and two feet. feet for shaking and hands for feeding, holding, and diapering. Wink
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 18 2005, 3:56 pm
thats right supermom, but still, two is harder then one, three is harder then 2 etc...
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sheshycoco




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2005, 7:17 pm
happymom, freilich has twin toddlers, she has more kids ka'h, that's what she means in both directions. I wasn't sure if you understood.
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2005, 10:08 pm
Shesy nope I was just referring to the twins like one runs in one direction to the kitchen whilst the other makes a bee line for the washroom ka"h even ka"h with the others kids none kept me so busy like now 8)
And yes supermom we have 2 of everything so thats why twins is not like 3 or 4 kids at one shot since then someone is bound to feel left out unless they have help always Tongue Out
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 13 2005, 9:13 am
I spoke to a woman who is an assistant in a day care program for 2 year olds. She said she would never put her own child into a program like this!

This particular set-up is lousy, no outdoor play and the toddlers are there from 9:30- 3:30 and longer shock

She said when they put them in for naps, some cry for mommy ... She thinks mommmies should be putting their children to sleep.

I asked whether any mothers came to see the program and she said only one and she came during lunch and didn't see the children playing.

When this assistant ventured the idea that it's good for these children to socialize, I asked her whether the children actually played together and she said, uh no.

As far as "arts and crafts", she said that of course the morahs make it and the toddlers are given crayons to scribble with. If they put stickers on something, she guides them to put it in the right place. My, so creative ... Rolling Eyes
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 13 2005, 9:35 am
I HATE when teachers do that! I was a preschool teacher for 3 years and I ALWAYS let them do their own projects. I had one kid who liked to put the eyes on the feet of the person when making people... fine!!! Her mother thanked me for letting her see her childs work because then she can see who her child really was in her creativity!!! my little brother (2 at the time) came home with a simchas torah flag with a tiny opening for the torah. the torah was perfectly strait inside the opening.... It was obvious he didn't do it!! I told the teacher it would have been sooo cute if he would have put it on upside down on the wrong side. we dont want to see the teachers work!

another thing about day care...I decided NOT to to work in a day care with my daughter because after researching a few I was horrified! I know working there would just make me feel so bad for the kids even more so I decided home is the best place for me and my baby.
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 13 2005, 10:39 am
Yea I had a mother ask me what their craft was supposed to be. Tongue Out I teach 3-4yr olds To which I answered ask u'r daughter since it's her labour of love. Twisted Evil But anyway what I will do is show them my own model craft or whatever and however they do it is fine, so for e.g. We made a model taivah that truly floats on water I put the three floors taught them what goes on each floor and provided the stuff to glue and stick on some got the floors right and some plain wrong Wink but yep it was their work and I love it Wink
Also at this age and earlier I like it when then use fingerpaints and dabbers abnd create their own look. For some things yep it has to resemble parsha or yom tov but it should look like their work not the Morahs Exclamation
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raizy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 17 2005, 10:37 pm
I asked my 3 yrs old son what did he do to a certain art he said we stuck on the pompom I asked him did u cut . glue etc he kept on saying no!!

some teachers and mothers want to see perfect arts no matter what... I hate that.. I think it would be better to let them scribble and glue and cut where they want . as long as they are the ones who are doing it...
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chen




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 18 2005, 12:44 pm
happymom wrote:
I am in my 20s. Twins are adorable.. but also very hard, no?


only when they're very small.
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chen




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 18 2005, 12:50 pm
happymom wrote:
I HATE when teachers do that! I was a preschool teacher for 3 years and I ALWAYS let them do their own projects. I had one kid who liked to put the eyes on the feet of the person when making people... fine!!! Her mother thanked me for letting her see her childs work because then she can see who her child really was in her creativity!!!


THANK YOU!!! I was horrified when I went into my son's classroom and saw rows upon rows of identical whatever-they-were's on the wall. So personal, right? The morahs explained that this is the time for the children to learn how to follow instructions. Nice point, but why were they not giving at least some time to encouraging individual creativity? Conformity is the name of the game! (Hmm...maybe that's why. The frum community is rather big on conformity, is it not?)
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 18 2005, 2:14 pm
Quote:
The morahs explained that this is the time for the children to learn how to follow instructions. Nice point,


they are following instructions by sitting by the table and making a project!!! Not having your own creativity and not using your own head isnt exactly the right kind of following instructions. im glad some people see this is wrong...

also chen, when I siad twins are hard I meant when they are little
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