To Tip or Not To Tip, Parenting Dilemma

amother

Sat, Aug 16 2008, 10:41 pm

Dc brought home the suggested required tips note from camp. He told me tip the rebbe, he likes him. It is ok to tip the counselor but he was just ok. And then all red in the face told us "Do not even give the JC even one penny." Ds says the JC was mean to him, made fun of him in front of the other children, took sides between children, joined in the fights against him, physically pushed him once. But I know that dc is sensitive so it might not be *quite* as bad as he says. But I know he is not lying. Ds will be hurt if we give the JC anything.

Advice please?

tovasmom

Sat, Aug 16 2008, 10:57 pm

I have mixed feelings about this. Certainly you don't want to hurt your ds. Can't you compromise by giving him a very low tip. My dd is a jc in a camp and I know she has been counting on her tips. She, of course, puts in extra effort to help the kids have a good time, and is a great counselor, so its not the same situation. I would certainly speak to the division head, camp director about the jc who did something hurtful or inappropriate to try to see that they don't rehire the guy, but maybe at the end of camp so the jc shouldn't take it out on your ds (somebody like that probably would).

Twizzlers

Sat, Aug 16 2008, 11:38 pm

amother wrote:

Because the camp sent notes that tips are not optional and you must tip the amount they tell you to.

since when does anyone have the right to tell you what you "must" tip?

btw, do you know what TIPS stands for?

To Insure Prompt Service. in other words, to make sure you get good treatment. I've been a jc and a counselor and also "counted" on tips. but they still need to be earned. its not a salary you're paying, its an extra.

but as another poster said, I would give out any tips you will be giving on the very last day so this mean jc wont be nasty to your kid when he sees he's the only one not getting.

Barbara

Sun, Aug 17 2008, 12:59 am

Twizzlers wrote:

amother wrote:

Because the camp sent notes that tips are not optional and you must tip the amount they tell you to.

Let's be honest. The tipping system is a way to increase the salaries without increasing taxes. Sure, the camps could pay the counselors more and charge you more. But then the camps would be paying payroll taxes on the increased salaries, and the counselors would be paying taxes as well. Camp fees would have to go up more than the amount of the tips. Is this ethical? Dunno. its is, however, why tips are expected or even required.

To the OP, in this circumstance, however, I would definitely contact the camp. It is completely and utterly unacceptable for camp personnel to be bullying or pushing a child. I assume that this is the first you've heard of it. Although camp is ending, you need to get to the bottom of it, if for no other reason than to ensure that this JC is not hired again and does not have the opportunity to do this to another child. They also need to understand *why* you are not tipping, so that there are no problems for you in the future.

Bambamama

Sun, Aug 17 2008, 1:14 am

I think you should get to the bottom of how this jc treated your child. Confront him personally. Certainly do not reward him if he indeed behaved as your son describes. Can you speak to the counselor? The idea of obligatory tips is ridiculous. If it's to save the camp money on taxes, that's their problem. They should be honest and pay the counselors what they think they deserve instead of this tips nonsense. Was it always like this? I don't remember my parents tipping my camp counselors growing up.

Strawberry

Sun, Aug 17 2008, 4:10 am

I've also been a jc/counselor and counted on tips since the camp barely paid their staff. Yes, it is important to tip (btw- I hated when people gave me a gift instead) but a tip is a token. If you have no reason to withhold a tip, it is unfair not to tip. However, if the jc was mean to your child there is NO obligation on your part to tip. I don't see why you would even consider tipping in this case.

Twizzlers

Sun, Aug 17 2008, 2:20 pm

Bambamama wrote:

The idea of obligatory tips is ridiculous. If it's to save the camp money on taxes, that's their problem. They should be honest and pay the counselors what they think they deserve instead of this tips nonsense.

and if that were really the case, then they shouldnt have raised camp tuition so much. its up to double from when I went to day camp and that wasnt so long ago.

and yes, I hated those that gave dumb gifts. I have a whole collection of ugly costume jewlery (aka from the .99 store) that I received from campers. Rolling Eyes

so if u feel u have to give something, but not put your heart into it..... Twisted Evil

Bambamama

Sun, Aug 17 2008, 2:50 pm

greenfire wrote:

if you don't stand behind your son then who will ?!?!?!

Yes. Whether or not you chose to tip this jc will in the long run be a lot less consequential than how your son is made to feel if you aren't on his side. (Unless of course he tends to make things up, then he has to be set straight).