Donâ€™t Recognize Inviter

Besiyata Dishmaya

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 11:35 am

We received a wedding invitation but we do not recognize any of the names mentioned nor their addresses on the envelope. Our address on the invitation was hand written and apparent that it’s meant for us. The wedding will be in our city but quite a traveling distance. Should we go out of our way and attend searching the mechutonim, chosson or kallah who might have sent it or just dump it assuming it was an error?

DefyGravity

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 11:40 am

Did you ask your parents and in-laws if they know who the person is?

I'd say that if you don't even know who the person is, why go?

Pineapple

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 11:42 am

I wouldnt go. If it would be very close (a few minute walk away) I would stop in to see if I recognize someone

su7kids

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 11:46 am

MeThinks wrote:

Contact the invitees and ask if it was sent to you in error. Maybe the one person they really wanted there didn't get their invitation.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 11:51 am

DefyGravity wrote:

Did you ask your parents and in-laws if they know who the person is?

I know my parents and in-laws people and it doesn't sound familiar at all. My husband said he'll inquire in shul or in kolel. So we'll wait and see.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 11:55 am

su7kids wrote:

Contact the invitees and ask if it was sent to you in error. Maybe the one person they really wanted there didn't get their invitation.

Quite embarrassing if it's meant for you. No?

su7kids

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 12:05 pm

MeThinks wrote:

su7kids wrote:

Contact the invitees and ask if it was sent to you in error. Maybe the one person they really wanted there didn't get their invitation.

Quite embarrassing if it's meant for you. No?

Not necessarily. If its someone who you knew under a different name.

greentiger

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 12:33 pm

It happens a lot when someone is known by their second name and then the full name gets put on the invitation (Like "who the heck is Yenta Malka??? Oh thats Malky Smile

). If the mother is remaried then you might not recognize the last name either. It happened to me enough.

tovarena

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 12:35 pm

I do event planning. I was one time working for a client who gave me a list of addresses to address the envelopes. There are two men in our city who go to two different shuls, but have the same last names and very similar first names. When I saw the address listed for the family that goes to the other shul from where my client attends, I called and asked them if they really meant the person they'd listed or they meant the other family. They were so appreciative that I'd caught the mistake - they had just pulled the name off of a community white pages listing and not thought about the fact that the address would have been in the wrong area. So, yes, it can happen that the invitation gets sent to the wrong person - even when it's hand addressed.

Lechatchila Ariber

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 7:29 pm

Ima'la wrote:

Yes, that's a good point tovarena - the invitation may have been intended for "Bar MeThinks"! Wink

(my thoughts too on the "bar" issue)

sammy

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 8:07 pm

I made a mistake like this once. I looked up a distant cousin's address on whitepages. I wrote down the wrong address and a few days later they mailed my invitation back to me, with a note inside, saying that they dont know any of the people involved in the simcha. it was nice they did this, because this way I knew to look again for my cousins correct address.

queen

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 9:27 pm

I sent out Shana Tova cards last year to clients and some friends. While working through the local phone book to see to whom we'd be sending..... I decided to send to my friend's mother who lives in town and happens to be the mikva lady where I go. (she's an almana)

Well, this woman knows me by face, however I guess she didn't recognize my married name- and she called to thank for the card and ask who we were, if she knew us embarrassed

greenfire

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 10:11 pm

to go or not to go - that is the question ... I say you definitely gotta find out who on earth it is before you make a decision ... Drunken Smile

or wedding crashing could be your new hobby Wink

Besiyata Dishmaya

Sun, Aug 17 2008, 4:17 pm

Puzzle solved. My husband did some inquiries in shul about this invitation and found out that it’s an older bochur who used to come to this shul that’s getting married. My husband never knew his family name.