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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
How do u get your children to listen and respect u?



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raizy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2005, 8:44 pm
basicily how do u get your children to listhen and respect u. what tips do u have for us who are new to this game?

and good tips that seem to work for u?
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hisorerus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2005, 8:51 pm
1) Be a good example.

2) Be consistent!

3) Learn to speak firmly, in a no-nonsense voice (go listen to experienced teachers, they've cultivated it).

4) Have consequences when they don't listen (they will test you out on them).

You can try the Love & Logic system, it seems to get cooperation from all types of kids.
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sheshycoco




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 17 2005, 1:24 pm
what's the love an dlogic system?
My son learnt from a freind to bite, so far bH it has only been me he has tried, but it's a horrible habit, and I want him to stop before it becomes a big issue. Is going into your room and leaving him to pplay in the living by himself to severe for a 16 month old?
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 17 2005, 1:58 pm
I think the best way to get your kids to respect you is for you to respect them and in general act respectful to everyone... there is a great book called positive parenting by twersky that has some REALLY good tips about all areas but the idea I liked the most was anything you want your children to do YOU MUST DO YOURSELF! If you want them to share... you must share (ie, give tzedaka etc...) if you want them to stay calm YOU MUST BE CALM! they learn how to act from their parents.
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 17 2005, 8:17 pm
I think calm and consistency and consequences are the key.

Personally, I never tell my child to do something or tell her no unless I know I have the ability to enforce it right then. If a mom tell her child no when the mom are on the phone and the child keeps doing whatever and the mom doesn't get off the phone and stop them, she's trained them to ignore her. Sometimes this means my little one gets away with something because I know I don't have the koach to back up my instructions, but I'd rather her run around like a wilde chaya sometimes than get the message that she can ignore me with impunity.

I think it's also important to have clear, expected consequences for disobedience. I see so many moms, when their kids are not listening, not minding, so softly saying, "Oh, Shimon, mommy doesn't like it when you do that." Meanwhile Shimon is giggling like mad and continuing whatever it is he's doing. Every time that happens, a person is teaching their children to disrespect them.
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 17 2005, 8:21 pm
shesycoco I think it runs in some gynes since my dd also started biting two of my kids did that, and the others not. Confused Now don't ask me in whose gynes it runs b/c I'm just not sure Tongue Out but by the time they talk well they r not biting Tongue Out
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raizy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 17 2005, 9:51 pm
I think that thwy bite out of frustraration. I know that my daughter did that. now if she is really mad and frustrated she will bite herselve... hey at least she learned self control.. she is doing that much much less....there is hope out there to all u bitier kids.
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micki




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 17 2005, 11:22 pm
tonite I told my son that if he can't go to sleep normaly without me having to tell him to be quiet every 5 seconds then I woll NOT let him go to sleep tomorrow!!!!!
adn that will be another rule in our house...
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 18 2005, 7:48 am
LOL
Quote:
then I woll NOT let him go to sleep tomorrow!!!!!
LOL
Yep micki we mothers r so rational Very Happy but whatever works works I guess What
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sheshycoco




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2005, 8:00 pm
Thanks guys, I think he might have stopped, once I went in my room and left him in the living room, I left him for about 1 minute a t a time and told him to make nice, he didnt , but I think he understood a bit, it took him a while to restart, it was till yesterday. And then I found 2 teeth today, so it is probably why he was biting. Hopefully he's stopped, it's hard.
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Tovah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2005, 11:03 pm
respect them!
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