Pregnant babysitter

shabri

Tue, Sep 09 2008, 7:18 am

My 15 month old DD started at a new babysitter last week (I send out). When I was deciding where to send, I kind of thought that the babysitter was expecting but since she didn't share, I thought I shouldn't ask. Yesterday, she obviously was showing so today I asked her. She said she was and was due in Dec which is the same time I am due with #2.

First of all, I'm a little upset that she didn't mention this a few weeks ago. She knew I was due the same time and I specifically told her I was going to send DD there 5 days a week when I gave birth (now I only send 3 days when I work). More so, I'm concerned abt how DD is going to handle 2 big adjustments. new sibling and sub babysitter. She said last time she had the baby over the summer and started when he was 3 weeks old so she is only planning on taking 2-3 weeks off and she will get a sub. I'm not sure if I should roll with the punches and whatever will be will be. Or if I should try to find a different babysitter who will be more stable for DD for when the time comes. I am technically committed to her for the yr, but being as she didn't tell me I could argue with her that had I known, I prob wouldn't have sent. DD is adjusting well at this point.

By the way, we are both abt to start our 7th month so its not like a month ago would have been esp early to mention something.

EvenI

Tue, Sep 09 2008, 7:34 am

Since she's already adjusted to the new babysitter, you may not gain anything by sending her to a different one now - what's the difference between your dd switching now or having a sub for 3 weeks later? And how do you know you won't have the same problem at some point later in the year with the one you change to? Well, you could go for someone past child bearing age, perhaps, but that might not be your main criteria for choosing.

Sounds like maybe she was afraid of losing the parnassa by making the issue known from the outset.

On the other hand, how can she be sure that she'll be up to working 2-3 weeks after giving birth? She's probably going by past experience, which may be somewhat of an indicator, but, isn't every birth different?

morkush

Tue, Sep 09 2008, 8:57 am

EvenI, I think Shabri is worried about the two adjustments happening at the same time.

I think if it was my kid I would change now becasue kids always need routine in their lives, and not having Mommy at home, and then going to a babysitter that she doesn't know sounds a little bit scary for a (then will be) 18 month old.
Good luck with whatever you decide!

shabri

Tue, Sep 09 2008, 2:28 pm

Exactly. Normally I wouldn't mind her having to adjust for 2-3 weeks just coming with or around the huge adjustment of a baby sibling I think is a lot to handle at her age.

I'm sure she did it for parnassah, but I am still annoyed. I was interviewing for a new job pregnant and was told to tell before I took the job. This is a case where I might have sent to someone else purely b/c of the timing and what works best for my baby. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I have options to switch now. I have to look into it.

RachelEve14

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 1:48 am

shabri wrote:

I would speak to her frankly about your concerns and see how exactly she handles it and if you can leave. I know a friend of mine did the, but her whole 9th month the sub was in the gan with the kids, and she was around right after birth (the gan continued to be in her home) so it wasn't as if the children were brought to a new place for a month. Speak to her and ask her how she's picking hte sub, how the sub will be introduced to the children, and everything else. It's a difficult situation ((((((((((((())))))))))))))))